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For the people doing NC..Does it bother you..?
May 7, 2005
4:54 pm
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Jadey
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September 29, 2010
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Hey. Ive been doing no contact since last friday (8 days) well when i say no contact i have to see him in school but i used to text and call him all the time but i havent since then..So im basically ignoring him. If he talks to me im gonna try and ignore him (easier said then done! :() Now he hasnt even been texting me or trying to caontact me and its really bugging me. I want him to text me so i wouldnt text back and then id feel like the ball is in my court and ive "won" so to speak. Do you understand wot i mean? Since ive been ignoring and avoiding him, not hangin out at lunch like usual and just flat out pretenfing he doesnt exsist hes been giving me funny kind of looks, looking at me as if to say "hello im here" kind of thing. But still not contacting me. I wos hoping hed be contacting me by now šŸ™ Wot does this mean? He looks like hes botherd by it but not contactin..does he just not care? And do oyu NC'ers wish that theyd contact you if only to feel like "youre in charge?"

May 7, 2005
11:20 pm
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lt1999
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September 24, 2010
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I wish he would contact me everyday, and when he does contact me it is always about needing something. Money, paying bills he cant pay, sex, etc. That makes me feel worse. I saw him tonight and he wanted to come to my house. So we came over here and the first thing he wanted was sex. I stopped right in the middle of it and told him I couldn't do this anymore. It really hurt, but I new this was the way to see if he really wanted me or just the extracirricular. He hasn't dealt with it well because he has been calling wanting me to come over. I now feel like I am in control. That is a good feeling,but also an unhealthy one because now I am going to have to go through this all over again. Having control is not the best thing all the time. No contact seems to be the only thing that works. We have to get over the control factor.

Good Luck. I know it is very hard.
LT

May 8, 2005
8:41 am
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Jadey
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I just feel so guilty eventho really ive done nothing wrong hes verbally abusive and spreading lies etc about me but i cant help but feel bad for him šŸ™ I still havent contacted him tho šŸ™‚

Good luck to uyou too

((((((hugs&kisses)))))

May 8, 2005
10:53 am
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Desert Moon
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September 27, 2010
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Hey Jadey

It's ok to feel bad for him - you still have feelings for him so it's going to be that way, and its often the guilt of making them feel bad
that drives us back to them, especially if they pursue us ("I can't live without you, I need you etc.", even though the situation is not a good one. It's probably much easier that he is not contacting you either, although from your end it feels like he's turned the tables on you and is the one in control, and, you know what? - he is, because now he has YOU wondering why he won't pursue you. But you are the only one allowing him to do this to you, just remember that. It doesn't have to be that way.

If he has been verbally abusive and lying about you, ask yourself why you would want to have anything to do with this loser. You deserve much better, however I am sure you know this already, you just need to get over the feelings you have for him and this is most difficult part, but it's also the best way, so hang in there!

May 8, 2005
11:25 am
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2bstrong
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Hi Jadey...

Yes, I wish he would contact me so that I could think that he still cares, or is interested in me, or yes, so that I can have the ball in my court.

But this time, my reason for NC is for me. It's so that I can break my addiction to him and whatever it is that I think I need from him. It is so difficult. I've never detached from him before or any other relationship for that matter, and I know that I have to do it differently this time, so that I can change. I absolutely hate it. I am so miserable sometimes that I get physically ill. But I know that everytime I resist the urge, I get stronger. I just hope it works. Everyone here at this site who's ever done it --stuck to no contact--says it does.

2b

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