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focused on him....
January 3, 2006
6:28 pm
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cecilia
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September 24, 2010
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i recently just removed myself from a long term relationship... The only serious relationship i have ever had. We lived together for four years and two weeks ago i moved out; back in with my family. It has been strange to move back in with my mother, stepfather, and younger brother. My fiance whom i left...has been on my mind lately...we finally have talked rationally today for the first time since i left...i am going to see him tonight. The relationship that we had was very unhealthy. I was very submissive and yielding and he leaned toward controlling tendencies. I know that i had to do what i did for me...for my own growth... i was very unhappy...unhappiness that i hid and numbed.... and i just became fed up. I have kept myself very distracted lately. I have recently been spending a decent amount of time with a friend of mine, who has been very supportive of me, but also that i have engaged in sexual relations.... but ultimately he is my friend...i am able to talk with him and feel confortable and supported...i think about him so much....and it worries me...between these two men... my mind is consumed...runs itself tired...I was hoping that someone would have some words for me on this... i just feel that i have the need to think about someone else... focus my energies there... when i know i must focus on me....but my mind obsesses about them... did he call? did he write? wondering if he's thinking of me...etc..
thank you...
jai bwaghan...

January 4, 2006
9:13 am
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taj64
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September 30, 2010
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You have not healed from the previous relationship it looks like. Maybe seeking comfort for you pain. You know the past relationship was unhealthy. In the long run, you are doing yourself good by leaving it. It is ok to have obsessive thoughts of the ex. They are still fresh in your mind. It is natural to wonder if he is thinking of you, etc. Just realize that if you were to go back that the relationship was doomed and probability that it would get worse. You would stay unhappy. I would continue focusing on you. It sounds as if the new person is better for you but take your time with it. It is good to have comfortable. Just know that you are still healing from the ex and it will take time.

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