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September 29, 2005
2:42 pm
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WontLookBack
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Just wanted to say hi and offer a bit of my story. I was married to an emotionally and mentally abusive man, who ironically I met in church. We were married for 18 years, but I knew the first week I had made a mistake. I found out later he was a sex addict, addicted to prostitutes, and eventually became a crack addict through an affair with a hooker. When I would find out about one of his liasons, he would always be sorry, promise to seek counseling, and even go to our pastor for help. I believed him at the time, but realize now he was playing the game to manipulate me into staying. He liked having me at home keeping everything there safe for him. But eventually, I realized he never stopped and when he became a crack addict, I finally did leave him. As I was trying to leave, he physically attacked me (the first time it ever got physical), but I went straight to the police and he spent 7 days in jail. I am divorcing him now and I have no intention of ever going back. My life is peaceful now and I'm happy. He tries to blame me, but I know it's him, always was, and the only fault of mine was staying as long as I did. If this helps anyone, I'm glad. Sex addition is abusive to the spouse, no matter what the abuser tries to tell you. It's not your fault.

September 29, 2005
3:01 pm
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gofigure
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I have in the past wondered whether my H was a sex addict. I'm pretty sure he is--though that may not be for me to say. He is into porn and no matter what he tells me, I know he still surfs it, even if the usage has decreased some. He would also like to have sex daily or more, and if I say no he gets very irritable. Sometimes I will just to get some sleep. And even when we do have sex for say 4 days in a row, I always worry he'll get mad if on the 5th day I don't want to.
So it goes...

September 29, 2005
4:46 pm
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gofigure -

do you think - like WLB already stated - that sex addiction (husband) is abusive to you ?

September 29, 2005
5:25 pm
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luckyguy
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gofigure

What's wrong with wanting to have sex daily or more?

September 30, 2005
4:54 pm
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gofigure
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True--yeah, I guess I do think that sex addiction is abusive to the SO, particularly if the addict is having sex outside the relationship. It could be deadly.

Lucky--I suppose nothing is "wrong" with wanting to have sex daily. The problem (for me anyway) is that my husband and I could have had sex 4, 5, 6 days in a row, and if I tell him that I'd like to cuddle on the 7th day he gets angry and often has kept me awake (to the extent of if I doze off he will wake me up) until midnight or later when I have to get up for work at 4:30am. THAT is wrong IMHO.

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