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first time posting
November 1, 2006
5:41 pm
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coloradocoda
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Hi everyone,

My first time here - a little nervous. I am a recoverying compulsive gambler who has recently found out she is also codependent. I havent gambled in 11 months now, but my recovery is being stalled by all the issues I am having with codependency. Alot of questions without answers. Then getting some answers without the ability to apply them. What a vicious cycle ! I know that I go into escape mode to shut down my thinking, feeling - sometimes life is too unbearable. I am a wife ( not in a healthy marriage ) a mother of two ( and so very thankful ) I am a daughter of a recovering alcoholic and a spouse of one too ! My spouse also has a compulsive gambling problem and a drug addiction problem ( off and on ). I have asked for a divorce numerous times - yet he refuses to leave. I take care of two developmentally disabled adults in my home - along with having a special needs child of my own. So just leaving - would be extremely difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. I have taken years of verbal abuse - been treated worse then the doormat on the porch - lied to, been made to feel guilty over everything, caretake, enable, you name it it's me ! Once I learn how to operate this site correctly - I am hoping for some good advice on how any of you have gotten out of a similar situation 🙂
thank you all for listening
coloradocoda

November 1, 2006
5:52 pm
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Randomwomen2
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welcome to this site hunny. THere is a wonderful book out there called Codependancy no more. It might help sweetheart. Congratulations on making it 11 months with out gambling that is a wonderful accomplishment. How old are your children? It sounds like you have to much on your plate right now sweetheart is there anyway to cut down on the amount of work that you do so that you can have time to work on yourself?

November 1, 2006
9:22 pm
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lovingmom
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I agree with random, you need time for yourself. I know, easier said than done. You have so much going on. We (codependent people) seem to just pile it on until we can't breathe any more don't we? I realized I was codependent after I started counseling a few months ago, then discovered this site and have learned so much. I also came to realize I am in a verbally abusive relationship with my husband. I'm at a point where I am feeling a lot of resentment (trying not too, but hard) toward my husband and have talked to him about all of the hurt he has caused me and still causes me. I'm just sharing because I think it helps to hear that others are in somewhat similar situations and are trying to better those situations. As hard as it is, I have been trying to change the unhealthy aspects of this marriage and it's like I'm spinning my wheels most days. It's frustrating when the one who is being abusive and takes all he can from you refuses to admit there is anything unhealthy about it. It's like you're in it alone. If you haven't already, maybe look into some counseling if you have the time. That has really helped me a lot. I couldn't convince my husband to go, but am going on my own and learning so much. This site is great for finding answers too. There are a lot of great people here who have wonderful insight into codependency, relationships, helping yourself, etc., etc. No real advice from me, I guess. I just wanted to let you know we're here and listening and many people can relate with your situation.

Oh, and congratulations on your recovery. What a great thing for you. Keep working on you. You'll find more and more answers to your questions as time goes on. Take care.

November 2, 2006
11:09 pm
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Randomwomen2
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bump

November 5, 2006
10:25 am
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hopeful for change
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September 30, 2010
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well you've found people who understand completely. This site has been a god send to me. I have made very good friends that are always here for me.

Reading your story...you are classic codependent huh? Taking care of everyone and everything in the world. We have to learn to take care of ourselves, which is so hard. I was raised by alcholic and a codependent and surely have mimicked the codependent role.

The best thing I ever did was read the book, codependent no more. I thought someone wrote it about my life. If you haven't read it, you can pick it up at any library.

Welcome to this site...people here understand, and you don't have to worry that someone thinks your crazy etc as we all know what your going through, you'll be amazed when posting how many people have almost the same story. And you'll find comfort and lots of wisdom.

hopeful

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