Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
first time at coda
October 17, 2005
9:00 pm
Avatar
helpplease
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I went to my first coda meeting today. It was interesting. It's in my neighborhood, which is a gay community and I'm not gay. I thought I would feel a little out of place but as soon as this guy started talking about having an alcoholic dad, I knew I was at the right place. I learned that holding on to the idea of my ex was really the wrong thing to do. That he needs to get out and do his thing, pursue his dreams and heal. That keeping him in this relationship would mean that I'd want him and me too to remain stuck, where we were and that was not a good place. When you're in hysterics and in pain you can't really think straight. I look back at my past thread and I recognize that some of that agony is now gone. And that my agony was a bit disproportionate to what was going on. That it was an agony that comes for far, far back, from the pain of all your losses, from trying to get love in all the wrong places, from people who can't love you back the way you want, can't fill the void that you'd had for all these years. That to try to have your boyfriend heal the wounds of your childhood is really an impossibility. You have to do that yourself. And you can't fix the pain of all their wounds either. They have to do that themselves too. I now understand that wanting him to soothe my pain was selfish. That I do want him to be well and take care of himself and to ask him to take care of me is something he really can't do right now. He's healing too. I think it's time to start healing. Now I have to go to an AlAnon meeting.

October 17, 2005
9:19 pm
Avatar
human drama
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How big of a group is it?
I have never been to one!
Glad you took the step!
HD

October 17, 2005
11:13 pm
Avatar
helpplease
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi HD, there were like five people there. i'm going to check out a couple of other meetings in the area to see if i feel more comfortable in others but this was good.

October 18, 2005
3:10 am
Avatar
lessthanalive
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

good for you!!! i have yet to get to one but its one of those things that i know it will be good once i can muster up the guts to do it. its a big step. proud of you:)

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
29
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111165
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
anissafield, Aemorph, CaitlynForlong, AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information