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First time .Any help Plz!!!!!!
November 9, 2006
9:18 pm
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GirLintrrupted
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Hi everyone ,
I was so relieved when i first heard about this site to find out that im defently not alone and its a great feeling .However, I've been going through hell lately feeling like the world is about to end b/c my bf is planning to ask me to marry him and become a stepmother to his 2 kids who love me deerly but the problem is their mother "The evil Ex" whom i hate so much .
Any advice/precautions b/c everyone in my family is telling me that i dont know what im gettimg myself into but i really love this guy but im reallky confused n i dont know what to do ????
Thx ,
much love

November 9, 2006
9:38 pm
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free
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Why do you hate her so much?

What you're getting yourself into is having to repsect this woman for your lifetime, out of respect for your honey's children.You will never replace their mother- not saying you want to, but it's not easy being second fiddle. You'll have to respect decisions she makes that you don't agree with. the kids will play her and you against each other, and throw their dad in whenever it is convenient. For example, you'll issue a consequence for a behavior and evil ex will over rule it, if dad doesn't first.

Parenting is very difficult, step parenting nearly impossible, and pretty much assuredly impossible when you can't get along with the biological parent.

It may not seem so difficult now- I'm betting these kids aren't teens.

You're family is trying to point out to you that love does not in fact conquer all things. there are many things that conquer love.

free

November 9, 2006
9:48 pm
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Friendma
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Welcome to ya. I have a boyfriend now that has 3 kids from a previous marriage and his ex is Satan in a womans body. I also used to be married to a man that had 3 children from a previous marriage. So what I am about to say I say from experience. Becoming a blended family is possible but know this it is an uphill battle and very complicated. There will be times that you get along with the kids and times you won't. The same goes with your partner/spouse. The biological parents have to be the ones to do the discipline. You can help,but you cannot be the disciplinarian. You and your partner has to be a united frount with open communication. I hope this is making sense. My major point is don't be decieved thinking things will go great with no problems. You have to know that no matter how difficult the situation becomes that you are willing to stand by your man and him stand by you. I wish you all the best. Your family is concerned for good reason and just know that love does not conqour all.

November 9, 2006
10:42 pm
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Daeja
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GirLintrrupted:

If you love him and he loves you, she has to respect that, just like you have to respect she's the kids mom. Maybe your bf can sit the both of you down and have a discussion about where everyone stands and how everyone(as grown adults-not teens) must respect each other for that fact alone. The children...
Nothing beats a failure but a try.
Wishing you Luck.

November 9, 2006
10:44 pm
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GirLintrrupted
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First of all, I just wanna thank u guys for feeling with me .
I hate her so much simply just because she gave up her family for some looser whose in jail now and for certain things that she does just to make me mad.For example, she would call my house phone about 10-20 times and im not even exagerating I cant even enjoy making love to my b/f no more b/c she ruins every moment, even our dinner time she gotta call and "Bitch " about something.Its like i cant even live my life peacefully no more b/c my man became a sucker for her b/c of the kid's sake which i totally understand but when it comes to ass kissing he tries to make her happy still and she's not even w/ him, He seems like he cares about what she has to say more than me.I really dont have any problems w/ the kids coz they still very young and they love being at their daddy's house rather than their moms and we always plan activities n trips to go to n they always hav fun but she can't stand .

November 9, 2006
11:18 pm
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hbdude2k
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Ok, you are so complaining about how bad this situation is your boy toy and the X. I just read your last post and OMG, you have so much going on girl, you had better think twice about being in this situation. You really think the icing on the cake will go smooth, well, its not going to. You think you have problems now, things will escalate. Yes, you will have good times, however, from your last post, there will be more bad than good. I am not baggn on you, just telling you from experience. If you want to get married, you must love together. You must 1. I can be me, 2. You can be you., 3.We can be us. 4. I can grow. 5. You can grow. 6. We can grow together. Just remember, no matter who she is-a bitch, a witch, or whatever, she will ALWAYS be thier mother and you have to deal with that the rest of your married life. Do you want this turmoil or should I say baggage? Love is powerful, probably the most powerful thing in your life, but don't be blind when love is in your life. Divorce rate is 80% when married under 22yrs old and 60% when married older. Don't be in these percentages....Good luck and be a smart thinker or think smarter...

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