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first step (feels good!)
September 7, 2006
12:15 pm
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Espoir
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September 24, 2010
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Hello everyone,
I'm new here but I've been reading the threads for about a week. I discovered that I was codependent last week and have been doing so much work since then (i'm in vacation so it got all my focus).
I went to my first Coda meeting, realized that I was in denial about the loss of my mum, my brother, my dad and my grandpa until now, so now I've got to handle it all at once.
Anyway, I'm really happy today because I had my first little victory.
This lady called me for this job, and I had told her than I was interested in full time, except that since then, I realized I wanted less than that. I told her that today and it was prob;ematic for her, but I didn't feel bad for her, or feel guilty, or try to find a solution, or anything! I just waited for her to see what she wanted to do about it. It felt so great! And right now, I'm not feeling any responsibility for her problems, I feel good about standing for what I want.
And that seemed worth sharing to me!!!
Have a good day everyone! 🙂

September 7, 2006
3:10 pm
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Randomwomen2
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Forum Posts: 9
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September 29, 2010
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you sound like you are doing great sweetheart. Keep up the good work

September 8, 2006
6:55 pm
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Espoir
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Forum Posts: -1
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September 24, 2010
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Thanks Randomwomen2!
I had my first day at work today, and to make a long story short, I am not sure if working there would be the good thing for me. I have to call the lady tomorrow and let her know my decision. Actually, I don't really want to work there, but the thing is that I'm not american, and my visa expires next year, and if I work there I will most likely get a nex visa to stay here. The other option is me working freelance, which I so want to do, but then, I don't know what will happen for my visa, and I wouldn't stay here with no visa.
I am having such a terrible time making a decision, and of course, on top of that, I feel guilty because she's counting on me and now I might disappoint her, and then I bit myself for feeling guilty. I'm trying to get if off my head, but it's not happening and for once, I'd like to make a decision myself, but it's so hard. It's my first year after school also, and I'm having difficulty adjusting to the "real" world.
Any suggestion for me?

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