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finally pulling out
March 7, 2007
10:50 pm
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garciagirl
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September 27, 2010
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Hi All
New here. In short form, I believe that I have been so seriously codependant for so very long. I am going through the beginning stages of divorce. I never thought that I could pull away, but I find myself going through the motions, and gaining strength that I never knew (or was convinced thaat I didnt have) for so long. As I have read through some posts before posting mine. I see so many levels of ways that I have felt. I have been under the impression that being loved had much to do with being controlled. I turned a blind eye to addictions, affairs, menatl and verbal abuse. It's odd, as during one of the more quieter periods of this 12 yr circus...it's like I've "woken up"...there is so much clarity, and I think that I have found my strength. Our youngest child was disgnosed with a long-term medical condition, and it seems after the shock and fear wore off, I began to see whats truly important in life...and what that is are the verymost simplest things. It struck me that our dysfunctional relationship has not only affected all of our children, but also has taught them how to function as adults...and ultimately--I will not watch my sons treat their partners in such a way, nor will I watch my daughter tolerate inappropriate treatment. I will have no excuse if I let them watch me stand for it. I feel as though I have spent many years being ( and being told that I am) such a weakling. Rather than boo hoo about a sticky situation ( divorce, and being a stay at home mom) I will choose to celebrate my newfound strength, and utilize every bit of it.I think I am going to be okay.I feel like I can start to breathe. thanks.

March 8, 2007
1:45 pm
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livvy
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September 27, 2010
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Hi garcia girl!
I am a newby too!
I was where you are two years ago. Getting my divorce created so much more happiness and hope in my life! It is such a good feeling when we love ourselves enough to take care of our needs!

I am so proud of you and happy for you. It is not easy but there is hope!

All the best to you and your kids!

livvy

March 8, 2007
1:59 pm
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lifeistooshort
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September 27, 2010
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Hi! I am in the process of divorce for the second time. The first time which was 2 years ago I reconciled because of the manipulation that he would get better and he can't live without me and the kids. Well guess what, even though he stopped his initial problem "cold turkey" he says, I still can't get over the pain and hurt I went through to save this marriage at that time. I was so emotionally supportive of his needs and forgot mine. I am building my self worth and love for my self so I can move on and be happy with my 2 boys. It is soooo hard to make this step. When does it get easier and do the kids bounce back. That worries me so much. I am happy for your strength and you deserve to be a happy mom!! Stay tuff!!
lifeistooshort

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