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fifth??? goodbye letter... more of a letter to myself -I guess...thedogsmom
February 26, 2007
2:23 pm
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thedogsmom
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September 30, 2010
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Dear John,

It's easy to say "I love you". Those are only words. I believe that in order to love- you have to love yourself.

I haven't been able to "reach" you with my letters, words or actions. Hopefully, your belief in God
will save you. Your body is your temple and you should not destroy it by feeding it with toxic substances.

I can no longer watch you slowly kill yourself. You have destroyed this relationship, and I will
not allow myself to go down that path of destruction with you any longer.

I thought that all of my love for you, my tolerance and forgivenes for your actions..all my financial support through the years..would help and encourage you to stand on your own two feet and be the man that I dreamed that you could be.

I sadly realize, that this was only MY dream and that you do not have the same goals. It's taken me some time to see that all I have been doing is enabling you to continue to lead the crazy life of lies and drugs and irresponsibility... the life that is taking you nowhere.

I no longer believe that you love me. I don't know that you ever did, and it no longer matters.
I see you now through different eyes and no longer through my "rose-colored" glasses. Years of hopes, hurt and dissapointment have made me view you now as a charmer... a user... and an abuser.

I see you now for the addict that you are. I did not choose this life for you and I certainly didn't choose it for myself. In fact, I told you eight years ago-before I committed to this relationship that I would always stay and work on the relationship unless I were with an alcoholic or drug addict. I guess I knew then that life with an addict would be too much for my nerves and heart to bear. After learning of your addiction, I tried anyways for two years to stand by your side and make it work.
I have nothing left to give you..except your own responsibility.

It's time for me to let go and take care of myself. To look towards my own shortcomings and improve my life. I'm hoping and praying that you will do the same. You still have your life and the lives of your children to think about. It's up to you to decide how you want to live it. If you want to improve it- it starts by being true to yourself.

Be your own cause.

Sincerely,
TDM

February 26, 2007
2:31 pm
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(((thedogsmom)))

Beautiful letter -- looks as though writing it helped you attain clarity of thought and feeling.

All best wishes to you, kroika

February 26, 2007
2:56 pm
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Loralei
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I think that is an excellent letter. I hope you keep a copy of it to re-read everytime you are feeling weak. I sincerely hope you are able to follow through and get that toxic man out of your life. You deserve so much better. I'm so proud of you!

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