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Fiance Got Deployed
May 18, 2004
1:36 am
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Shigorah
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He is in the military and he is leaving for a 2 year stay overseas. I am terrified. I feel like I'm in a nightmare. Now I have to plan our wedding alone. He feels bad about having to leave but he loves his country. He has only been gone for a week or so and already I miss him so much it hurts and I don't know when I'll speak to him again. I had a dream last night that he was with me and we were talking like we normally would at night. It was so comfortable and nice but when I woke up it wasn't real. I haven't stopped crying since he left. Maybe someone can help me? Does this get easier or better? I feel like I'm only half a person now.

May 18, 2004
2:39 am
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gingerleigh
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Hi Shigorah. I understand. Completely. I just got married in November because my fiance was getting sent to Iraq. He will be gone for a full year, home in the US about March of next year. He has been gone from my sight since February of this year.

Does it get easier? Sort of. I would say that you get used to it. You still hate it, but you get used to it. Is there a family readiness group near you that you can talk with? Contact them. There are lots of other people going through the same thing that you are.

Where is your fiance? What branch is he in? My husband is in the army infantry, and is serving near Baghdad in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

May 19, 2004
12:31 am
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natty
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I can't relate because I have never been in your situation, but I wanted to post here and just say you and your families are both in my thoughts.

May 19, 2004
12:47 am
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annastar
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Sorry to hear this. My fiancé left for service in 1990 for 2 years. It was hard- we were so in love, planning to get married…We did. Yes, it gets better after a wile. 2 years is long time. You said- you have to plan wedding yourself…Is he already left? My husband- future husband at that time came back for a week after 1.5 years, we had a wedding and then he had to go back. It was so frustrating. We also became different people in 2 years- we still loved each other.

May 19, 2004
1:49 am
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gingerleigh
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One piece of encouragement that I can post is that communications are so much better than they used to be. I'm not sure where your finace is going to be stationed, but my husband is in a war zone and I get to hear from him at least once a week now, usually via email or instant messenger. Phone communication is still spotty, but I have spoken to him real time twice since he has been in Baghdad.

He is not going to drop off the face of the planet. Just keep the letters going, write him every day, even if it's just a post card. Ask that he write you as often as he can, or at least keep a journal and send it your way every week or so. Communication will see you through this.

May 23, 2004
9:48 pm
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Anonymous
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shogorah- I kind of understand your situation. My best friend is married to a captain in the army. They have been married for 4 years. She has always been so lonely without him. Now I am living with them due to my separation .It made it alot easier for her this time since I was here. It kept her mind off of him gone more. My advice is maybe have a friend come over more. Or have a friend stay the weekend. Go out and find a new hobby or excercise. It has helped her. I know it is hard when someone you love leaves, but try to stay busy. Your family is in my prayers.

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