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Fell in love but he wants to be friends
March 6, 2001
12:45 pm
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Faith
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September 29, 2010
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I'm wondering if anyone out there has had this experience: I met a man who knocked me off my feet (not literally!). I've never met someone who I seemed to have so much in common with, we think alike, like to do the same things, easy to talk to, etc. (All this after only one date). I was instantly attracted because of our similarities, and really want to get to know him better. After our date he said he did not think of me in a romantic way, which really surpised me, but really wants to be friends. I felt totally the other way around. Here's the question: should I pursue a friendship? Or say no to avoid any kind of potential heartbreak? Curious as to what men think, as well as women.

March 7, 2001
10:15 am
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wyliekyle
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Faith,
How long have you actually known this guy? From your post, it seems like you just met. Was it a blind date?

If you've only known him a short while, are you really sure you're "in love" with him? Could it be that you're simply attracted to him?

Not that I don't believe in love at first sight, but you shouldn't base what you're feeling on one date. This guy may actually have some qualities that would drive you out of your mind, but you won't know that until you get to know him.

So take your time and really get to know the guy, especially as a friend first. The best romantic relationships start as friendships.

March 7, 2001
10:38 am
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Dilly
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If you really feel so close to this guy, then take whatever he offers even if he has protected himself from too much commitment by calling you "a friend". Just go with the flow, and let him take it at his pace, or you may frighten him off! Perhaps you should make yourself less available, I know it's hard, when you have been "knocked off your feet" but i'm sure it will pay dividends in the long run to be busy when he calls. I find that men enjoy the chase as much as the capture, and you have to let him feel he's doing the running. Good luck.

March 8, 2001
10:03 pm
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Faith
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Thanks for the feedback. It helped me a lot.

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