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Feelings of low self worth and self esteem...
October 24, 2000
6:11 pm
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proxy
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Well, I have glanced through these options for discussion and I did not seem to find anything that was related to what I experience from day to day...every day is a challenge so that I can feel comfortable with who I am and deserving of what I have and do....it is a struggle. Some days are okay but for the most part it takes everything I have to not think negatively about myself. When you meet someone new or when you are at work lets say....does anyone else experience the "what were they saying about me or they really don't like me feelings?" I am hoping that someone out there can respond to this cause it sure feels like I am alone when I am dealing with this...

In the meantime...take care

October 24, 2000
6:35 pm
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Molly
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I find that exercise combats most of those tapes, and when I hear them, I ask my self if I am living to my potential or coasting, sort of an internal motivator. I usually get those messages when I am tired too, a clue that my life is out of balance.

October 25, 2000
12:37 am
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meg
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When i do some thing that hurts someone else even when i dont mean to do it,because i dont mean to it just happens that way, i get really down on myself and i think that every one hates me and i think why should i be here why do i need to be living so i start to find something sharp in the room and i begin to cut myself several times in the same area until i bleed and i stop crying. i need help with this. Right now im in a situation with my aunt where she doesnt want to talk to me anymore and this is hurting me and it makes me want to cut my self i dont want to be doing this please help.

October 25, 2000
11:40 pm
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janes
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THEN STOP. Instead of cutting yourself to stop crying lt the tears flow out and let them be the bodily fluid that you sacrifice.

Cutting yourself will never hurt those who are hurting you as much as it hurts your self.

With the ups and downs you describe you might want to try some herbals (St johns, Kava kava etc) and see a cousleor or someone personally.

October 29, 2000
5:03 pm
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frida
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Hello Proxy,
most people don't think negatively about someone they have just met, remember they are busy to make a good impression on you, they are insecure too. Negative self-talk can be very desructive, try to control it, ask yourself where it comes from, remember good feelings about yourself, get used to replace your negative memories by positive one's. Unfortunately, being an insecure person, is a vicious circle. People might make fun of someone who is shy, nervous etc. So this will make you even more insecure...you know what I mean. A good method to braek this circle might be to help others in need, helping others makes you feel good about yourself. Maybe you want to go to an old-age home as a volunteer, or a hospital... Good luck!

October 30, 2000
7:23 am
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proxy
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Hi Frida,

Thank you for you insight...what you have said does make sense to me. It is very hard to remember the good things though. After years of conditioning yourself to think negatively, it becomes a habit to do anything else but this. I find that I can make things worse than they really are though...once my thoughts start to wonder than it is easy to get yourself worked up over things that are probably not even true. I am trying to change these things though...with positive thoughts, or sometimes even stopping my train of thought when I am thinking negatively.
Even if it is only a temporary relief from the feelings of low self worth it is worth it. I have thought about volunteering but believe it or not even that makes me nervous...anything new is a stuggle. Meeting new people, wondering how they are judging me etc....but it is a thought that I will remember. Anyway, I appreciate you ideas and thank you!

November 14, 2000
3:19 pm
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VMELLY
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HELLO, DO YOU MIND IF WE CHAT PROFESSIONALLY? I'M A COUNSELING STUDENT? PLEASE RESPOND BACK WITH AN ANSWER AND I WOULD ALSO L;IKE TO ASK YOU IF I CAN USE THIS FOR MY CLASS? YOUR IDENTITY WILL BE CONFIDENTIAL. THANK YOU.

November 14, 2000
3:31 pm
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lazydazy
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I experience these feelings daily. Ecspecially in social settings. I get really down on myself. It's usually when I talk to people in big groups. I'm not comfortable being the center of attention. I dont know how to interact in some situations. I have alot of friends that I am comfortable with but when I'm around some people, I close off and can not open myself up to them. It's like I act like a totally different person around some people.

I have a very low self-esteem right now and I dont know what to do to break out of it. I can be somewhat spacy and there are people that say negative things about that or call me stupid. I know I'm not stupid but I get really hurt when people say things like this to me and it causes me to withdraw from certain situations.

November 14, 2000
3:34 pm
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VMELLY
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CAN YOU GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE?

November 17, 2000
1:54 pm
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scrowbe
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Low self worth usually comes from childhood experiences that were negative. People with low self-esteem (like me) have been taught that they are flawed. For me, I have been taught that I am not "manly" enough, and that I have big lips. It is all bullshit. The expectations of society are what is flawed. People who put down are the ones looking to divert attention away from their own self-perceived flaws. We are each beautiful beings, with extraordinary capacities to flesh=out truth, love and beauty. Bless us all that we may find our true selves and celebrate this gift, Amen.

November 21, 2000
5:26 pm
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gingerleigh
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Way to go Scrowbe!

November 21, 2000
6:50 pm
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proxy
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Dear Lazydazy,

I am the person who orginally set this thread and I have to say that it was like I wrote your note. What you feel is EXACTLY what I feel. It changes from day to day...person to person.. some days I feel strong and I give off this persona but other are very bad. It is not depression but an overall feeling of uneasiness that has a way of controlling how you act around people. I have a hard time in social situations too...I stumble over my words and sometimes have a hard time speaking at all. It is especially hard at work and now I am facing the possiblitily of starting a new job which REALLY scares me. It is hard everyday to talk yourself into a positive attitude and remind yourself that people don't think you are stupid even when you totally believe they are thinking this. Do you find that these thoughts affect you job performance? If you feel like noone really likes you that why the hell are you even working there? I can't count the number of jobs I have been through because I thought this way..negative thoughts are so strong aren't they? It is true that you childhood has alot to do with it, if you did not have the benefit of having parents that rewarded the good and the bad then you are kind of left up to your own ability to decipher what is best for you. At a young age that is pretty dangerous. Anyway, I hope you are able to answer back because like I said, it was just as if I wrote your note myself...very strange feeling yet reassuring to know that I am not alone.

take care,
proxy

November 28, 2000
5:50 pm
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manonchairatdesk
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low self worth and low self esteem can only be overcome when you come to realise that each person is worth being loved

Love, after all, is all that everyone is looking for - and loving yourself is the point of departure for living a healthy life.

I do not know if you believe in Jesus or not but I need to share something with you that I have heard and which gave me a new insight. It goes like this :-

Nothing you can do can make Him love you more. Nothing you can do can make Him love you less. Because His love is complete.

If you know Jesus - then run to him and tell him all. If you don't know Jesus, then isn't it about time you got to ???

Love is All
Jesus is Love

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