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Feeling Too Low About Job
May 17, 2001
2:25 pm
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chippy
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My supervisor has done everything to demean me and my work as possible. He has helped everyone in our department but me. In the last 3 years he has gotten 2 promotions and promoted everyone but me. He says my work is good and there is NOTHING I can do to help myself. I have a 20 year career and have never never faced this horrible mixed message thing before.....I am so confused, hurt, angry and frustrated I want to scream....it is eating me up inside and dI am looking for another job but my confience level is in the toilet. He tells me his hands are tied in helping me but has promoted everyone else....he says it is my imagination. TALK TO ME....I'M SCREAMING!!!!

May 17, 2001
2:53 pm
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skimbleshanks
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Can you document with more specificity the promotions others are getting?

So, you can go to him and say something like, "I've noticed that over the three years _____, _____, ______ and _____ have gotten significant promotions. I've asked you what I can do to improve my work and you've been satisfied. I have not gotten the promotion I deserve. I have 20 years of experience in this line of work. The cost of living goes up every year, yet my salary has stayed at the same level. I am having trouble making it. Are you going to help me?"

Hopefully presented in a factual manner that he cannot ignore will get you somewhere.

Good luck!!! Keep looking for a better job that's more fair!

May 17, 2001
3:55 pm
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chippy
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Bless you for replying....

We have 8 people in our department and all other seven have gotten promotions in the last year:

1) Specialist to Supervisor
2) Clerk to Exempt
3) Clerk to specialist
4) Clerk to Exempt
5) Level 4 to Level 5
6) 10% increase
7) 10% increase

I have gotten regular raises. I have talked to him on and off for 3 years..he says my work is good, I am a valued member of the team and the Company....but whenever I do what he wants me to do..like write a Company book...he says it is good but a no-brainer. He gives me the assignment, tells me I do a good job, then he tells me all I did was copy someone else's thoughts. Understand that is what he told me to do.....review other books and then write it for our Company and our context. I have told him I do not feel valued...I told him I want raises, promotions and asked what do I do to get them...he says there is nothing I can do....his hands are tied...but he lies cause he gives the other employees promotions and tells the employees not to tell anyone....all other departments in the Company broadcast promotions except ours...
I have asked and asked what can I do to make myself more valuable to the Company, and he says there is nothing I can do cause his hands are tied...and that is a lie....obviously.
I have been frank and clear cut...the responses are lies and promises in 2-3 years....while no one else has to wait.....I feel as a person valueless..hopeless and am having trouble looking for another job cause I feel so low...
I need positive feedback and reality checking to see clearly that I am NOT this "whatever" employee he treats me like. I excelled in school and other positions I have had.....Can you tell me....if it is truly NOT ME what may be going on here so I can at least understand this craziness so I can get on with it and find another job and feel good about myself...I feel emotionally and career abused...I'm very angry and can't express anger at work cause that is not acceptable...I had to leave today cause I felt I would explode. This is probably a clear cut situation but I'm involved and can't see the obvious...my co-workers say they do not understand what is going on here....my work is right, on-time, I am not disrespectful, I am helpful...almost like the perfect employee...but yet I am singled out....I suspect it may be some kind of personal thing..but I don't know what.....he says I'm making a mountain out of a molehill...how can every other person in the department get ahead except yourself and this not impact someone...My husband thinks he wants to have me around but not pay me...I don't think he wants me there so he is making me miserable so I quit...he tells people I am a great employee, but his higher ups he says I'm not a superstar. I feel really low....please help me understand.

May 17, 2001
7:53 pm
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ruthie5507
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It sounds to me that your employer has taken advantage of having you there. He/she is comfortable knowing that you aren't fully fighting the fact that everyone else in your department has gotten a promotion with the exception of you. One suggestion I have is to speak to someone other than your direct supervisor. I would speak to his management.

If you are a company that uses e-mail a lot, start BCCing his supervisor's on the e-mails that you send regarding a job you have recently completed. Start writing down the things you have done, start writing down everything your boss has said to you and/or done to you to make you feel low. Let him know the specific jobs you are interested in and say to him, what do I have to do to get ahead? And if he has got nothing more to say to you--finding another job or even another position working for another supervisor is your best bet. If he isn't even going to give you the chance, then he has got some kind of begrudgement(sp?) against you. Have there been any kind of disagreements b/t the two of you?

May 17, 2001
8:00 pm
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chippy
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Thank you for responding....no disagreements between me and the boss but you clarified what I also see.

That was all I needed...an objective opinion and now I feel better. Your suggestions are top notch....a million thanks...I can successfully deal with this now.

May 17, 2001
10:31 pm
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lost soul
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If you know you have done your best, you should know what's the problem. The problem is with him/she, personality clashes!!!

I can identify with what you are going throught now. I was in a similar situation one year ago.

Sad, sour, down, depressed, lost of hope and low self-esteem. To top it all, it happened at the worse time when I going throught a very difficult time with my marital issues, my ex-boss gave a big kick. At that time I really felt like a biggest victim. I am sure I have done a good job.

Anyway, it's over. I have a good job now but my passion for career has ceased. It was indeed a very bad experience in my work life. I was always an "valued" employee to my bosses and companys until this "BAD" encounter.

So, you are not alone in such a situation. If you have to, look for a new job.That way, you might gain back your self-esteem.

All the best to you!!!

May 17, 2001
11:51 pm
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malaikau
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Dear Chippy,

IT'S NOT YOU!!! There might be all kinds of reasons why your supervisor is behaving the way he/she is. You and the rest of the world might spend a lifetime trying to figure it out--but to what end? You are not happy being taken for granted and lied to. You are powerless to change your boss. There may be Human Resources or Legal contacts or routes available to you. Ultimately, you are forced to decide how much of your valuable time, energy, and emotions you are willing to commit to forcing your supervisor to change behaviors. It will be hard decision. Please keep coming here for help and support as you try to decide what's best for you.

Best of Luck to You!!!

Mal

May 18, 2001
8:22 am
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chippy
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Thank you all for your help. I needed it so much. I have been so depressed I couldn't see straight. My anger level has been out of control I know because I was trying to solve the problem when it is not mine to solve. This gets insidious doesn't it? I'm not sure why I blame myself for someone's bad behavior......maybe cause if I feel I am in control I can change the situation for myself....but someone else's behavior is not in my control. I guess I want things to go my way for my benefit, so I create a fantasy of being in control and blame myself. LOL like that will work LOL. I have control issues cause my mother was out of control and I thought if I could control her everything would be alright for me and the family....it was my way of coping. When someone behaves inappropriately I go back to that terrible time and behave the same.....Jeez does it ever end?
Boy, I don't know about you guys but I solved the world's problems.....LOL.
Speaking rationally, I know it is just time for me to move on. I don't want to use up time and resources getting my boss on track. It is better for me in the long run to get another job with a better boss. I don't want to work for the same Company in a different position because I enjoy accounting work. There were things in this Company I liked, but the bad outweighs the good overall for my best interests. I feel sorry that things didn't go in my direction this time but maybe next time they will. I have alot to offer to any Company I am employed with....I am intelligent and get along with most people. I understand accounting and the complexities of financial decision making. I am an asset to any firm. I sound better to myself.....I have a lot to offer.....go get em tiger....grrrrrrr......LOL.
Thank you all for your input.....it helped enormously, cause now I'm sure that I'm not the problem I can move on to resolving the situation. I will be in touch to let you know how things are going in my job search. I may need you guys to fluff me up and help me keep my confidence going....I feel like I've been through a war and am still a little rough around the edges. "My head is bloody but unbowed"
God Bless you all and please know you helped an emotionally distraught woman find some peace today.

May 18, 2001
3:14 pm
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silence
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Yeah. It doesn't sound like it's a personal grudge against you. Just be glad that you're not a miserable bastard like me. I went to work through an internship in my college with 6 other students in my field. We had to digitize video for the web. In the office I was the second highest producer in quantity and the highest in quality of my work. My secret: screw the breaks, just work my ass off and not goof around. End result: After the main project was finished all the temps were fired. 2 weeks later all the other temps but me are rehired on a full time basis with benefits. Lesson: I'm a lousy person to work with for some reason. Probably because I'm not too social.

May 18, 2001
4:31 pm
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Foxy
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It sounds like you are totally not at fault here. I had something very similar and I'm not sure if maybe the same thing isn't happening to you.

I was working as a supervisor in a company. Anyway, the manager, Colin, treated me like dirt. I was helping tagging shoes one day when he took my chair away because I wasn't working fast enough. I was the creative advisor for the stock displays and he made me redo five hours work because he didn't like it. It was always me he singled out for punishment. As far as I can tell, I never did anything wrong. In fact, the deputy manager was really pleased with my work. One day a young boy accidently knocked on of the display racks down. No biggie, right? WRONG! Colin told me I was thick and stupid in front of customers. I was mortified! I actually cried! I ran home in tears.
The following day I confronted him on his behaviour. He admitted he was being hard on me. When I asked why he confessed he was in love with me but he knew it was wrong as he was 40 and I was 16 at the time. He said he was being so cruel so as to hide these feelings. I was so angry! He had made my life hell! I chucked my badge at him, told him to stick his job where the monkey stores his nuts and resigned on the spot. I also told him if he ever spoke to me again I'd inform his wife. I wouldn't but I just wanted to get away.

Now, I'm no expert, but sometimes people tend to "lean" on the people they like. Confront him with it. See what happens but whatever happens remember this is not your fault.

GOOD LUCK!

Foxy

May 20, 2001
7:53 am
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Clare
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Hi, I used to work for a really nasty peice of work. I left about 6 months ago when I basically walked out when he went too far. I was at a bit of a loss about what to do because I'm only 23 and don't have loads of experience. Perhaps rather naively I started a rival company and took all my clients from my old job. I had no financial support and had to get personal loans to start out. 5 months into it it's really hard going and I have no money at all for myself. My point though. is that I'm more satisfied now than I ever was working for such a horrid man. Taking a plunge and leving was hard, and quite scary (still is sometimes), but it was without a doubt, the best thing I've ever done. Never give up hope. There's always space for change.

May 20, 2001
12:07 pm
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chippy
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Thank you all.

Silence.... Most people are afraid to speak and socialize cause it is scary.....but I guess I am not afraid to appear "stupid" so I talk anyway. Just remember that people like people who make THEM FEEL GOOD. Most people just want someone to listen to them speak...so if you can ask questions and put in your two cents here and there you are a "great" socializer. It truly is learned.....just practice. Thank you for helping me....you sure got the gift of making me feel better.

Foxy....Wow what a jerk! Good for you that you got out of that situation. Sometimes I wonder who hires these people and puts them in management situations....and why is there no way of complaining in a justified way so the victim doesn't end up hurt in the complaint. Why can't we have some power in a boss - employee situation, other than leaving to keep our lives happy.
I think how I aid my own bad situation is that I am too easygoing cause again, I have childhood issues of not wanting conflict...I have a hard time handling it appropriately. I either back off entirely or am seeing red and ready to explode.....I hold my emotions back and somehow I have to learn to express them appropriately to the situation....not to my past. While I know this intellectually, I don't have a handle on it emotionally. It is like I am split into 2 people....rational and emotional. I need to be on top of my emotions....but I just don't know how to accomplish it. My emotions are stonger than my rationale, at least so I feel. Thank you!

Clare.....That is what my husband said....people become their own bosses to get control for their lives...I am sorry it is hard going for you and I hope things improve. I will pray for you. I too believe in change, thank you for strengthing my resolve to change things.....I guess I'm afraid that even if I switch jobs I will get myself screwed up again cause I have to CHANGE MYSELF

May 21, 2001
6:04 pm
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Molly
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Damn, we do love our comfort zones don't we. I find that most managers, see right off, the independent, the wanna pleeze, the ones that they can manipulate, yada yada. Just like all else have stated it is not you. If accounting is your speciality, there are so many organizations that do temp work that will allow you to see the other companies, and if you fit, will offer full time. Don't know where you are, but there is a need, and high demand for you, so feel the fear, and tell that boss of yours to take a hike.

May 23, 2001
8:42 pm
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cerry
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Chippy,

In read your thread and of course all of the others. As Molly had stated, there is a high demand for your type of profession especially where I am. Actually you are well respected for the type of work you do. A thought came to me when I read your thread. Years ago, I worked for a company that did have areas for advancement. I loved my work and did it well. It always made me feel good when I went home at the end of the day knowing I did a good job. It appeared to me over the years that others were getting promotions and I didn't. I didn't complain too much but did questioned and asked my employer why I did not get a promotion like the others. Just like you I was a good worker and met deadlines and of course did more than my share. I even was creative, took more courses to improve myself, assisted other co workers and did alot of over time without being paid. My co workers liked me and respected me and just like them could not understand why my employer would not promote me. I am mother with two boys and it was very hard to make ends meet at times but I worked hard, never took time off. I never bad mouthed anyone, nor did I gossip. I just tried to do a good job to put food on the table for my family. Eventually, the company lost its goverment funding and the company sold part of its business. It was not until years later that I realized and now working with a different company that my ex boss was afraid that I would take her position from her if she had of promoted me. She tried in so many ways to prevent me from successing and at times tried to make me look bad but in the end it got her. I believe what comes around goes around. Today, I am very successful and receive promotions like you wouldn't believe. Yes, it does do something to your self esteem when you don't feel valued. Don't stop looking what ever you do. Believe in yourself and work hard. It does pay off in the end. Even if you don't think no one is watching, think twice. I guess someone did value my work as they referred me for a position which lead me to the road of success.

Good luck
Cerry

May 28, 2001
1:32 pm
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chippy
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Thank you!

Molly...Yes, I agree, bosses have a tendency to disregard people who are too easy....and that is my problem...I try to please and be helpful...some people cannot handle that appropriately and seem to think that gives them license to walk on you. While I try to please, I am not a doormat and can be quite a bitch if necessary...the over pleasing is a learned behavior and a survival coping skill....but it is not infinite....I will prevail, because as I said it is a learned behavior and has no basis in reality. Thank you for reminding me that some people have to look a gift horse in the mouth...

Cerry....you know I had this feeling a little while ago that this guy was intimidated by my knowledge....he is flying by the seat of his pants and makes many false and misleading assumptions with the company's finances.....I would not doubt he is not self-assured with all he has to handle and he will not promote anyone in an assistant position (although all other people in his position have managers 3-4 levels deep). I always found that funny. It is very very possible that he knows I could "do" his job. Thank you for the confidence boost and insight.....I needed it!

May 31, 2001
8:35 pm
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chippy
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I wanted to update you on what is happening. My boss is telling me through my co-workers that he knows I am looking for another job. Which cannot hurt me in the least...that he knows. He will not confront me...which is interesting....but is spreading the knowledge. And he is preparing everyone for my departure. He is a real piece of work and I feel good that he does not qualify as a person I want to supervise or evaluate me...I honestly think he has some screws loose......
It does not matter why he is doing what he is doing...only the result. I have the freedom to move that result by getting another job, which I am still looking. I guess it hit me sideways cause I'd never been in this situation before and didn't know how to see it...but now I do...cards are in my hands and I have to play them. He makes his decisions and I make mine. I get paid for a job and will not look to this guy for career assistance. I unhooked myself emotionally and can see that I have control...not him. But this lesson goes for many relationships...remember you hold your own cards...no one else! Bless you all.

May 31, 2001
10:17 pm
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cerry
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Chippy,

Hang on a minute.... He knows your looking for another job??? Ok, thats alright but in the mean time who is talking within the office. Word does get around by the mouth. You said something interesting about him not confronting you but talks about you behind your back. It sounds strange and very unprofessional especially for any boss. Don't say much at all but do look for a job. He at present it your supervisor and I am not sure in your position but most employer ask for references. Do not burn the hand that feeds you. Meaning don't go burning bridges. He might not want to promote you and may want to get rid of you but you might need him somewhere along the way such as a reference. Just keep doing a good job and keep looking something will come up. Who is telling you that he is preparing for your departure? Are there others talking about you too?? Be careful ok? Just be yourself and do your work. Keep us informed. Here is a tip for you. Don't say much, just be yourself. It really bothers others when they have no ideal what is going on or what your doing. Then watch and learn. Take care, Cerry

June 3, 2001
7:44 am
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chippy
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Cerry,

Thank you for your wonderful advice. I told you the guy was unprofessional, this is just an example of how he works...that is part of the reason I have been so confused. Yes, rumors are flying...probably he started them cause he told me if I didn't like the current opportunities at the company then perhaps I would like to look at opportunities outside the company. In other words, "get out". This is not a manager, he belongs on "big time wrestling" I have always been the type of person to "work things out" but I can't with this guy, he is unreasonable. I can safely burn my bridges with him cause I have other management that will give me a reference in a heartbeat....but that is neither here or there, I am not a troublemaker by nature. I just know I need another job....I have not been happy for 3 years and it is time to move on. I'm having a hard time going to work everyday...I hate him so much....I feel he has held me back to no apparent reason and it is difficult to continue to be civil...although I am professional enough to be civil. He has not done this to other people although he has not been overly generous with anyone..even other managers don't like his stinginess....but, at least he has given something to others...with me I believe he sees me as a valueless employee and treats me as such....that is very difficult to bear because I have value...it starts to make me wonder about myself and I feel rotten....like I am not pulling my weight....it's terrible. I am an achiever and this is very difficult on me. I will remain quiet.

June 3, 2001
12:43 pm
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GiGi
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Wow! You and I had a very similar problem! I've been with the State for 11 years and only been promoted once! Because of my disability, my supervisor had a hard time dealing with my communication problem. He doesn't give me any new works for new experiences because he hate to say repeating instructions to me, stuff like that. When I asked him if he needs any help or have any new assignments for me to cover, he said no. He then tells other people behind my back, talking about our conversation. It really made me very mad and uncomfortable. Then suddenly, he decreased my work and I didn't have anything else to do. I know he is trying to get rid of me, but GUESS WHAT? I ain't a quitter and this make my boss even madder! I'm showing that I'm a winner and I can keep my chin up whatever I can. Then GUESS WHAT again? He got lay-off! Now I'm happier and glad to be patient. I almost quit, but didn't! Good luck to you - hope all things are well with your job. Keep your chin up and smile alot!

June 4, 2001
7:16 pm
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cerry
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I am very happy for you GiGi that you are a fighter. Thats too bad about your ex supervisior. I guess he did not fit the positon and maybe it was because of his lack of professionalism and respect for others. I wonder why he was laid off? If you didn't already know, depending where you live there is assistance to individuals such as yourself with disabilities. If you ever come across individuals or employers who do not treat you with respect you can report them. I believe that is discrimination and illegal.

And Chippy,,,, hang in there. Something good will happen, just wait and see. I wouldn't loose sleep over someone such as your boss. He in my books is not fair amongst other things. I agree with you. If your not happy at work it does put a weight on your self esteem and confidence. How is the job hunting going? Any luck? You can usually tell when an individual is not enjoying what there doing. They don't tend to smile as much and they look sad. Chippy, it sounds as if you are a little nervous going out looking for a job. You can do it if you really want it. I guess alot of us tend to shy away or are afraid to go forward because they are scared and feel out of sorts even just looking for another job. . Chippy your no quitter, so get your resumes out there and show them what you can do. It is amazing how you feel when you get people responding and asking you go come in for an interview. We all have to go through the process and sometimes it takes awhile. No one ever likes starting over but if we are not happy in are present position and find we are not going ahead then we must start to move are selves because no one else will. Fear is the one of are major barriers or walls and that is because we don't know what will happen. Sometimes we fall flat on our faces and other times we just breeze through it. One thing I remembered when I was afraid. You can't fail if you try. You will only better yourself in the end. My grandmother was a very wise women. I told her one day that I was afraid and she responded to me by saying, "the definition of fear is", false evidence appearing real". Unless you are falling out of an airplane., lol (laugh out loud) Just keep trying, and things will fall into place. In regards to not saying anything, be pleasant but don't give anyone too much information about what your doing. There will always be a gossip no matter where you go. Just don't give them any amo. Look happy as if your enjoying your job but when you have succeed in other position then you will feel better. You don't seem too happy where you are, so find your happiness elsewhere. We are here for you Chippy. Take care, and if you need some support be sure to ask your friends here.
Cerry

June 5, 2001
7:18 pm
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chippy
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Thank you GIGI for your story. It makes me feel better to know you "won" in the end. You have made me smile.....a lot. Thank you for your heartfelt encouragement.

Cerry, You have been wonderful to stay on this thread with me...even though I've been whining....LOL. I guess I had to go through this horrible time to get myself cleared out. I had to vent and vent and vent!
I am feeling better, more in control. I do know it is all a risk and that good or bad things can happen anywhere, but I think what my problem has been is that because of my experience and background (many years) I don't have the patience for this silliness. I'm way ahead of the run-around this guy is giving me and it's frustrating when someone treats you as though you don't have a brain in your head cause they have problems. Your Grandmother was right on about fear. Fear is a disease of the mind and heart and you have to recognize when it is laughing at you. I'm feeling more confident....and it's crazy cause you can have all the evidence in the world that you can learn new things (I have a GPA in accounting of 3.6) and yet feel like you can't learn anything when your confidence is down. My confidence is gaining ground and I know in my future position I will make someone a good employee....LOL. I am finally ready to take plunges....I bid out of the department on my job....I've been calling headhunters and I have a company that wants to talk to me. I'm feeling more like I have value to offer someone....and it is due to my friends here. Thank you for being there for me. I'll keep you updated....this is going to have a happy ending yet! LOL.

June 5, 2001
7:48 pm
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cerry
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YYYYEEEAAAAHHHHH Chippy,

Go girl, go....you can do it. I know you can. You have so many good qualities and YOU WILL make someone a very happy employer. Its only a matter of time. One day you will look back and chuckle when you up and feeling like there is no road block in your way. You are doing the right thing. Really... I have been there and I can say some days seem better then others and some days you just want to quit trying. Your still typing so your not dead yet, lol, (laugh out loud) Doesn't it feel good when you know that someone values you, no matter what it is? Chippy, hey, if you ever come out my way, I would give you a position. These days it is hard to find good workers and dedicated ones at that. You will get there, be patient and when you least expect it , it will happen. Be patient. Good work, I'm proud of ya
Cerry

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