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feeling slighted
November 1, 2001
11:48 pm
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shugarmagnolya
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im 23. a youngin. i cant help but feel like i was neglected as a kid. there are so many things i just haven't learned. i am a wild child. I never learned how to cook or clean or stay organized or do things that are not "fun".

What I mean is...i see all of these people whose homes are very clean, almost spotless. And they probably learned this when they were young and their parents made them clean their rooms. I never had to clean my room, i never had to cook. I assisted my boyfriend in preparing dinner recently for his parents and found myself completely embarassed because i had to have him show me the correct way to cut a tomato!

My parents are the messiest people alive! I am so completely spoiled. I never learned organization or simple domestic things. I am a capable person...i guess just a bit lazy because that was how i was conditioned. So i cant help, ecspecially being home and finding stuffed animals in the same cabinet as the pots and pans, but feeling frustrated and a bit mad that i was raised this way. Why cant my family be normal? Why did my dad have to have strange men that worked for him live on my couch , or have our dining room stocked with computer equipment, dinner ware and excercise equipment?, or have our dog tied up in the living room? Or have a zillion cars (my father fixes cars for a living) that never work because the ones that he does fix up, he sells to others and gives us cars that break down every other day.

I am helping my dad out with his billing lately cause he doesnt have a secretary. He writes out bills on Knapkins while he is driving in the car and i have to decipher them. There is probably $15,000 worth of work that hes done outstanding because he is such a crazy man and cant take the time out to write the bills (isnt that the most important part?). So now all of these people are going to have free work done on their car cause nobody (even my father) can decipher the chicken scratch on the knapkin.

When i was younger, i was grounded for a weekk (once). My mom told me it was cause i have a bad attitude. I found out later from my aunt, that my mom read one of my notes to a friend and found out that i met a couple boys when i went out one night. She never told me this. Just grounded me for the week....aghh! sorry i just have to vent

I've reached the point of insanity...i gotta get out of here....

November 2, 2001
12:57 am
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damaged
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Now that you know you are a messy person you have the chose to change. I was rasied were we cleaned ,cooked and all that sh*t. I today am far from Betty Crocker my house lookes like a pack rat lives here and I choose tomorrow to go for a bike ride and then to the river to take the dogs for a swim. My family wasn't normal either they wanted to live at church. The river will be my church tomorrow. The laundry will still be laying on the floor when I get home and the dishes will still be in the sink, but hey that's the way it is and so what. Give your self a break and go have some fun. As far as what your mom did about grounding you just learn a lession from this. Learn that this is not what you will do to your kids. The past is the past.

The definition of insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Get out and have some fun!!!!!!!!!!

November 2, 2001
11:07 am
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artist 2
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Hey.. you have good points. Focus on those - not everyone's perfect.

Believe it or not - we all have gripes about our parents. Talk about feeling insane... i used to love hanging out in my mother's "crafts room" which was really just a room full of collected this and that - jars of beans and pasta, turtle shells and snake skins, miscellaneous colored paper, sissors, dried out clay... etc. things I cannot remember.

This room spilled over into the rest of the house - our house was so messy! I never learned how to be organized, now I love living in it and find friends who are the same amount of messy... You're OK by me.

November 2, 2001
11:45 am
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artist
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IS there someone out there that IS perfect?
I want there name and address so that I can collect my $200.00 from the National Enquirer.
My family, too had their own unique and equally hard to live with eccentricities--I won't go in to details unless I'm forced to----all you can do is accept them as they are and love them--and if their living habits drive you crazy--get away from them. A little elderly person wisdom here--you may one day find all that you can't stand now, funny and heartwarming from a distance--that's not an absolute but it could happen.
damaged--have you turned your mountains of laundry into an art form yet?
Artist

November 2, 2001
9:21 pm
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ponytrainer
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Hey,
I thought you might find comfort knowing that you are not the only girl who grew up and realized she has no idea how to cook. My mother raised my sister and I to be execs in a fortune 500 company not stuck in the kitchen. I didn't even know how to boil water when I moved out on my own. In fact, to this day I have yet to cook a "real" meal (anything that is not prepackaged). It used to embarass me (and frustrate me), but I really think its kind of funny now. (And now that I have a fiance who loves to cook, I'm off the hook.) Anyway, the only annoying part about it is being told by the culinarily-gifted that cooking is easy. I literally get nervous when I read cookbooks. They say things like ad a pinch, mince, simmer, or sautee--I could not tell you what any of that means. Oh, and by the way, I don't work for any fortune 500 company either.

November 3, 2001
1:54 am
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SuzyQ
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Wow, I can't help but add to this. I am also not a good cook at all. My younger (middle) sister obtained all of the domestic skills in the family. She cooks, sews and gardens. I am not good at any of those things. I can throw things in a pot or pan and make something edible, but can't create anything, nor do I want to. When I was 16 I used to make dinner for the family once a week. Now, more than half a life later, I don't eat meat and live alone. Cooking has not been a priority for me. I also feel like a slob at times, but clean if I'm having a guest. I may be lazy in that way, but overextend myself in so many other ways.

November 3, 2001
2:22 am
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artist
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It's the middle of the night here and I just had another thought about all this. Everyone in a family has a unique role to fill. Think of a family as a machine with people parts. Your part seems to be being the sensible neat freak--and that's OK.
In my family I was the spoiled baby--spoiled is an interesting phrase to use for a human. I played that part real well for years--even long after I left my parents house.
I guess my point is there are things that you have become as a result of living in your particular family environment--to realize this is good--but to stay that way when it makes you unhappy and to focus on what was done to you and not on what you are doing is not so good.
I still stand by my original solution--move out and start living your own life--I think that you will be a lot happier and feel a lot more tolerant towards your family with the distance.
Artist

November 3, 2001
2:26 am
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artist
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Blondie,
I have super glue if you need it. Your not broken--just a little cracked--which is great--it gives you character.
Want me to lend you my dish fairies?
Artist:)

November 3, 2001
6:47 pm
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Molly
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I have never measured a thing, never followed a recipe, always tried to make a table with what ever dishes I found at the swap meet, and the remnants of what I didn't break, often have found ways to make artistic napkins from paper towles, and you can often find dog hair in my fridge, which I do say oh, God how disgusting, and close the door. but I am a damn good cook, its one of my arts, and never had any one die after a meal. However Blondie, I have never put my dog in the fridge, ok........ He is to big. I used to be the slave of my parents home as well, and then had to be the perfect wife for the father of my kids, then I got it. I now have papers in piles in two rooms and laundry all over the garage, that hangs till I need something clean to wear, I realized that I didn't have to please any one. I do once in a blue moon, but not this last one go nuts and put it all in top condition, I like the look of a perfect house, but figure if I am the one that has to clean it, or cook it, I will do it when I am damn good and ready, and if they don't like it they can do it them selves.

November 5, 2001
12:58 pm
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artist
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I have followed recipes--sometimes exactly--but most of the time there is always some reason to improvise--like I'm out of some ingredient or I'm just too stubborn to do what I'm told--one of my flaws.

I have never killed anybody with my cooking either but in the process of improvising, I've come up with the ocassional inedible goo that I've fed to the garbage pail. My Mom wouldn't even let me in her kitchen--I just got to watch from the other room so I too am a self taught cook--for better or worse.

Molly, I did have 2 dead gerbils in plastic containers in my freezer once because they died in winter and the ground was too hard to bury them and I refused to put them in the garbage--I had a friend come over for dinner once and the look on her face when she looked in my freezer was priceless(smile).

Housecleaning??? I have two large dogs and a cat and all that fur produces dust bunnies more the size of standard poodles but at least I don't have to feed them or walk them.

I just thought I'd add that.
Later.
Artist.

November 5, 2001
1:25 pm
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Ladeska
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...Actually, gerbils are good with rice pilaf...with just a pinch of ginger, complimented by asparagus and candied apples. Great for thanksgiving! However, stuffing the little suckers might pose a problem, in any event - tweezers should come in rather handy.

November 5, 2001
1:44 pm
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Molly
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Ladeska, you'll eat anything, admit it. Putting the gerbils in the freezer sounds like something I would do, and God forbid Sibil would discover it, hmmmmmmmm ideas. Wish I could figure out how to put Sibil in there. dust bunnies are great, but how do you keep them on the floor, I discovered one on the ceiling this morning, don't have a clue as to how to coach it down. Yea, got two dogs, and a cat, and its endless, but something I wouldn't live with out.

November 5, 2001
1:59 pm
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artist
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I think I'd rather have a HUGE roasting pan of stuffing with "gerbil surprise" in it--but I REALLY wouldn't do that either--I rescue anything on the roads, living animals, dead animals, plastic trash bags that look like living or dead animals--I brake for'em all.

When dust bunnies take flight and stick to the ceiling they have mutated and are now dustbudgies and are in there natural habitat and should be left alone.

I am an official member of the F.O.F.
(Friends of Food)--our symbol is a flying pizza wedge(I have a patch on my jacket).
Artist:)

November 6, 2001
1:00 pm
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artist
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I think that we all have thoroughly scared shugarmagnolya who started this thread.
Complaints about not having a normal home life with the eccentric parents has produced replies that have probably convinced her that she's the only one in the world who is normal and there is no other normal life out there--which is probably true.
No,I would never eat a gerbil(with rice pilaf,etc. or in stuffing) not enough meat and too stringy like the case with your ex, Blondie.
Don't worry ,shugar, we may not be conventional but we mean well.
I truly love being silly--it takes my mind of all the other crap in life.
Artist:)

November 6, 2001
4:14 pm
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Molly
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However, thank you for the clarifacation on dust budgies. I promise to not disturb their new habitat. Blondie, that pringle thing could be a real weight loss program. Hmmmmmmm. Just leave the Ben and Jerrys alone.

November 6, 2001
4:20 pm
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Ladeska
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...okay, okay, I "apologize" about the gerbil thing. Don't want the Inhumane Society knocking on my door. I didn't have them with rice pilaf anyways, it was mashed potatoes.

Actually, I had a little apricot teddy bear hamster once and it caught cold and died...I rocked it all night wrapped up in an old diaper and sang to it until it died. Had it's little paws outside the diaper sneezing and wiping his little nose looking at me with these cute little eyes.... All kidding aside - I love critters.

November 8, 2001
1:21 pm
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artist
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Yes, you can eat the tiny paws--but don't make the mistake of naming the gerbils before cooking--I am a friend of food but I don't want to bond with it.
I lived on Long Island for three years and in the city for one and I love New Yorkers and New York suburbanites--once you get past the tough exteriors they have lovely cream-filled centers. There is the occasional misfit but hey, they're everywhere.
I had you pegged as a carmel nouget from the beginning, Blondie--a little chewy but very sweet.
Artist:)

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