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feeling sick
August 14, 2001
4:59 pm
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gypsygirl
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September 24, 2010
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I was feeling all that today too. Not about the ex though, just about going to work and having to force a smile on my face, and having to deal with people. I spent all weekend(today is my monday) with the covers pulled up over my head. That was about as much as I could take. I just remind myself that I could be much worse. I just try and pick myself up out of the gutter and keep going.

August 14, 2001
6:11 pm
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Floating in the clouds
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September 30, 2010
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does he call every day? is this the first day he hasn't called?

I do understand that feeling though.....it is an ACUTAL pain inside. Be strong.

What is stopping you from calling him?

August 14, 2001
7:46 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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the truly depressing side of this is, that you have posted long enough on these threads, to know what we are going to say. Is this the alcoholic, that you wanted to get into treatment? Perhaps he has simply gone on a drunk and this has nothing to do with you. did you ever get the book on the Four Agreements that I previously recommended? It states, incase you didn't one of the things to always remember is not to take things personal. You, I know understand co-dependency, and drug and alcohol dependency, the very things that you state you are craving, so apparently he has triggered a relapse in you, its ok, just go find a meeting, it doesn't matter which one, you can walk into one just about any time of day, any thing that ends in A, AA, CODA, NA, seek true support, where you can get your self back on track. I won't enable your relapse, nor will I join you in the place your in, and inviting us to. So, get into a meeting. But, then again, drugs do work, and perhaps your not done, perhaps your not at the bottom, perhaps you need one last party, to recall where you were before the relapse. This is all your choice, so which will it be? You know that you are gifted in your own right, you know deep down that you are a miracle, I am sure its not on the surface right now, but you are. so, go do the right thing for you.

August 15, 2001
12:07 am
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damaged
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SOBER=SON OF A BITCH EVERYTHING IS REAL!!!!!!!!!

August 15, 2001
12:06 pm
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Molly
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I think, that unfortunately, being sober means, that you truly experience the pain, you don't medicate it, so that you move past it, and grow. That is why so many people, who started substance abuse at a young age, stunt maturity, they medicate the growth process. If you were able to deal with all of those feelings that you experienced, it is possible that you may move foreward, look at your relationships, and your life with clarity, vs a hang over and smoke. its so much easier to handle the same old same old with a bottle in hand, life sucks sometimes, but its the survival of those sucky times that makes us stronger, ha so they say, lol

August 15, 2001
3:20 pm
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damaged
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To mean being sober means I have to feel everything around me if I like it are not. I never knew how to feel befor now I am having to deal with myself and my feelings and its hard. Thats why I say everything is real. It's real being sober!!!!!!!!!

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