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feeling really down tonight
February 10, 2007
1:21 am
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jewel
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Shaney,

I am not into body building and he is going to have me put that pro tan stuff on him. I think it looks ridiculous being that tan. But what can I do. He wants to do it. He is really trying. THis will be his first show. I hope he wins, but even if he doesn't, he will always be a winner to me. DId you check out those wedding threads?

Jewel

February 10, 2007
1:28 am
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triciaisok
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Well jewel I guess I am not that good with the computor because I can't get it. WAs the #23458?

Just keep talking to us it does help until you are able to go see someone.

I am glad you have a supportive fiance.

My daughter sent me a beautiful card in the mail today. She is 25 and it had played a song -stand by me-
She is my best friend and I love having her in my life. she lives in Washington DC and thank god for cell phones so we are able to talk more in the eve.

Good to hear from you

February 10, 2007
1:28 am
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Shaney
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yep, i posted the same time as you...look up :o)

February 10, 2007
1:35 am
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jewel
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Tricia,

I am also 25 years old and my mom is one of my best friends. It is great to have family that you actually get along with. As far as viewing the dress, what you have to due is highlight(left click) the whole link or web address. Then you go up to your brower which is where it tells you what website you are on. Then you click on it and then right click and hit paste and the dress should come up. Hope you get to see it.

Jewel

February 10, 2007
1:35 am
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Shaney
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Jewel honey - I'm going to bed now... I've got a full day of moving tomorrow. If I survive, I'll get back to you about some of your wedding questions. This was my second marriage, so I'm a pro. Sleep tight jewelicious.

February 10, 2007
1:37 am
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Shaney
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Night tricia... you crazy girls are up LATE! I'm southern calif. and it's only 10:30 here. Night girls :o)

February 10, 2007
1:37 am
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jewel
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Good night Shaney. Get some good rest for your big moving day tomorrow. I am feeling a little better after talking on here. Thanks!

Jewel

February 10, 2007
1:39 am
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jewel
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It is 1:40 here on the east coast. I am up late. WHere are you from tricia?

Jewel

February 10, 2007
1:39 am
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jewel
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It is 1:40 here on the east coast. I am up late. WHere are you from tricia?

Jewel

February 10, 2007
1:46 am
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triciaisok
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Indiana and it is 1:45AM. I mentioned I work 3rd trick so on my days off I attempt to stay on the same schedule-it helps. Now I am going to go back to your bridal site.
Later-

February 10, 2007
1:49 am
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triciaisok
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Ok help me out here. Again it is the first picture I come to right. It is beautiful. She has pink roses and she is sitting down -

February 10, 2007
1:51 am
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jewel
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Hope you are able to find it. It is a very beautiful dress and flatters my figure. It is great for a beach wedding. I am going to be wearing a blusher veil which normally is worn with a bigger veil to cover your face when walking down the aisle. I just wanted something simple. I found my shoes for $1.50 on clearance at a store. I couldn't believe it. I am going barefoot for the ceremony, but afterwards we are going out to eat so I need shoes. I may remove my veil for dinner or leave it on. Everyone is going to be looking at us. I know it.

Jewel

February 10, 2007
1:52 am
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jewel
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Yes it is style VW8897. She is sitting down.

February 10, 2007
1:54 am
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jewel
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I got it in ivory. It is very pretty and just was perfect. It was actually the first dress that I tried on too. That was kind of weird.

Jewel

February 10, 2007
1:56 am
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jewel
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I did something bad. I took more klonopin. I don't know what is wrong with me. I should be passed out. I have to quit this. I need my fiance.

February 10, 2007
2:01 am
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triciaisok
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Please quit- call someone- call help line every state has one look in the phone book -

I will check back with you . I almost burned the house down. I forgot I put something on the stove and came down started writing you and visiting other sites-Smoke all in the kitchen. Had to throw pan outside and keep back door open. Hope my roommate doesn't wake up from the smoke smell - got to go for now-

February 10, 2007
2:02 am
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jewel
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I am a little scared. I jsut felt like I needed some relief. Now I am afraid I am going to go to sleep and not wake up. I am so stupid.

February 10, 2007
2:06 am
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jewel
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I am going to go for now. I feel really weird. I am scared and I cant tell my fiance. I did this 2 othertimes and endedup in the er. No more. I will sleep it off.

February 10, 2007
2:08 am
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jewel
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I will wait for you to come back.

February 10, 2007
2:24 am
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triciaisok
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Thank you for waiting- I am concerned if you go to sleep- You have done this before and sleep helped?

The smoke is gone but it still smells like burned food. Have the back door still open to air out. Please take care and respond back asap so I know you will be ok-

February 10, 2007
2:28 am
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doubledilemma
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jewel, hon....baby girl you realise this pattern in yourself now...You know you are up and down....hon, please, please take a deep breath and read these words, because I am the same as you - you know you are up and down and your moods fluctuate.

Jewel, hon, your moods are up and down and they fluctuate. You will feel better. Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe and breath as deeply as you can.

As another lovely lady said on the forum, "this too shall pass". I think you get stressed, whether that is either positive or negative stress and a little switch gets tripped in your mind which leads you to panic. That's how it works with me.

You seem to have a severe anxiety and panic disorder (I have had to qualify that as I am not a professional in this field, either). Next time this happens, I want you to have a good sized paper bag with you. I don't care whether you actually hyperventilate or not, I can't measure it, but I think our breathing is affected too and it will slow your breathing down if you breathe into it and use it to completely cover your mouth. You will be too busy breathing and it is a good aid in helping you to calm down. In fact, would you please make sure that someone, your bridesmaid, whoever, has a paper bag or bags ready if you have a panic or anxiety attack on the wedding day or at the reception when you may get anxious with the guests.

In fact, if you have not done so, you can also buy yourself a lovely little bridal carry bag with drawstrings to put in some eau-de-cologne sachets, and to put a folded-up a paper bag into, in addition to a hanky, your lipstick (if you wear it) and various-sized safety pins in case it is windy and you need to attach something or there is something that comes apart with your dress or others' dresses, O.K. Please make sure you can try to have a little bag with you or someone else, if it not to your taste. Some people carry a little medal of a saint, too. Check on line for where you can get it if you are not near a bridal shop or I can check for you. You should be able to get it in the same matching ivory as the wedding dress.

You can even put "something blue" or "something old" in it, if you still need something that falls into those categories, so it is versatile as well as being handy. Please do not put the medication in it, or if you do, just a little bit more.

So Jewel, please next time you panic, please have a paper bag ready, a new one which can move in and out like a lung when you breathe into it, O.K. hon. It must cover your mouth completely. Promise me you will try it. Keep some handy by the phone too.

Love

D_D

February 10, 2007
2:30 am
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jewel
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I have done so. I took 3 klonopin when I woke up.(1mg) Then a couple hours later 2 more. Then I took 3. Then recently I took another 3 not to mention I also took a percaset(cant spell). Is this safe? I know I will wake up. I want to take more because I still dont feel tired enough to sleep soundly.

February 10, 2007
2:33 am
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jewel
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DD,

Thanks so much. I will try the bag thing. I am just so scared that I took too much drugs but I used to drink a case of beer a night by myself and I weigh 100 pounds. I guess my body can just handle a lot.
Jewel

February 10, 2007
2:37 am
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jewel
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I think I am going to go call a hotline or something. I dont'want them to take me away. Just give me some advice. i dont want anything bad to happen to me but I cant stop the pain.

February 10, 2007
2:40 am
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triciaisok
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I am in recovery also. It has been ten years for me. There are alot of people who are bipolar who are in recovery. One of the founders had skitsofrania (can't spell) but God used him immensely. God has some good things in store for you!

You are still in early recovery which is also a roller coaster ride in itself let alone your other roller coaster ride. sometimes we don't want to feel the pain but we have to press through the pain to discover the healing. Hang in the jewel my friend.

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