Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
feeling really down tonight
February 9, 2007
10:29 pm
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I don't know what my problem is tonight. I am just so depressed. I watched a movie, spent time with the cat and dog, and called my fiance who is at work. I feel lonely, scared, and I am afraid of the future. I feel like I don't amount to anything. I am unemployed and just lay around doing nothing all day. I hardly eat. I am down to 100 pounds and I am 5 5. I don't know if that is underweight or not. I am normally around 110. I don't look skinny in the mirror when I look at myself. I feel fat. Maybe I have an eating disorder, but I don't starve myself. I just eat when I am hungry. It is so hard for me right now to do anything let alone try to clean the house. Yesterday, the only thing that I really did was change the cat's liter box. And I got my taxes done at h&r block. Today, I didn't do anything at all. Seriously, I don't even go outside and get the mail anymore. It is too cold which is why. I am always cold. I just feel like I can't handle this anymore. I don't want to die, but don't like the way life is going right now. I want to overdose, but to be quite honest, I am scared to die. I wouldn't want to leave all my loved ones behind. I just want to feel normal and happy. I am soooooooooo depressed. I don't know what to do anymore.

Jewel

February 9, 2007
10:39 pm
Avatar
Over My Head
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh Jewel, I can so relate to you. I feel the same way!! I have lost weight. My therapist makes me weigh when I come in now... embarrassing!! I only eat when I am hungry also, and that isnt very often. I have now desire to go anywhere... I am always freezing cold and I live on the Gulf Coast so it really doesn't get that cold here. It can be 65 degrees and I am cold.

All I want to do is lay in bed all day. I can do normal daily things.

I absolutely HATE my life and I don't know how to change it or change me. I know it is really me. But I don't know what to do.

I feel your pain ((((((Jewel))))

February 9, 2007
10:46 pm
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

JEWEL! Hey there honey - if you were here, I'd put you to work packing.... I'm moving tomorrow and have pretty much done all the packing by myself, while my husband whined about it.

I'll be up for hours, so keep talking. Did you ever check those sites that I gave you for hair clips and things for your wedding.

I used to be 102 and 5'2" and I wasn't under weight at all. Just don't lose anymore.

February 9, 2007
10:48 pm
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Over my Head,

Yeah, you should just like me. I have the heater on 72 degrees and I am still cold and then turn it back to 68 before my fiance comes home because I am literally shaking I get so cold. I wonder why we feel like this. Is something wrong with our minds. I have no reason to feel depressed except that my future mom-in-law and grandmother have cancer. But we are optimistic about it. That is not what is bringing me down.

Jewel

February 9, 2007
10:52 pm
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Shaney,

I am sorry that I didn't check out those sites for wedding stuff. Do you remember which theard it was on. I am sorry you are doing all the packing by yourself. Last time, I moved I was pregnant so no one let me do anything. They didn't want me to hurt the baby. In the end, I had a miscarriage anyway. I hope your moving goes well and you like your new place. Is it a new house?

Jewel

February 9, 2007
11:16 pm
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I feel so lonely right now and feel like I need someone to talk to. It is 11:15 where I live. I tried calling my sis-in-law, but she didn't pick up the phone. I just need to get my thoughts out. I seems to be kind of slow around here tonight. I guess everyone is out. Afterall, it is the weekend. I never do anything no matter what the day is.

Jewel

February 9, 2007
11:20 pm
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am starting to get the urge to take a bunch of pills now. I don't know why. I need someone to talk to.

Jewel

Maybe I should call the crisis hotline. I don't know. They never really help.

February 9, 2007
11:51 pm
Avatar
triciaisok
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Jewel

Hang in there. Don't take the pills.
Only take the medication amount you are prescribed if you have any.

You could be aerexoria ? spell? I am 5 4 and 114. I use to be 98 when my children were younger. I was stressed out. Being so thin maybe you are low on iron also. It happens to us thin people. If you think you are fat there is where the problem lies. I didn't think I was fat. Call a crisis hot line if you need to righ now ok.

If you have depression medicine make sure you take the proper dose. I needed mine changed with the winter stuff and changes in my life. Are you feeling abandoned?

Sometimes that sets in motion all sorts of stuff in people.

Keep writing-keep talking-

February 9, 2007
11:54 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Jewel--

I know how it feels to be lonely and depressed... and also how it feels to want to just sleep all day long..

I hope that all of this will pass soon for you...

There are a lot of people here who can relate to how you feel and I hope you know that you are never alone.. You took the right step in posting here at this site...

I had often felt lonely and then after posting here at this site and by talking to others here, I realized that I was NEVER alone...

with love and concern & friendship,

NEED

February 10, 2007
12:03 am
Avatar
triciaisok
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Jewel- I read one of your other threads about bipolar. Please get with your therapist and take your px.
I have family members who have that.
My sister is a different person on her meds. sometimes it takes awhile to get regulated but do some physcial things also. Do you like dancing with the radio or CD's. ? Some happy music. I just finished getting 90 days in with a job. My last two years have been a roller coaster ride. I am 50yrs old. No one wants older workers. I am finally getting full time work.

I know the depression it doesn't help not working. You Do feel like a failure I did. I had to talk with a counselor and then had to end a relationship that was part of my depression. That was two years ago.

God has been with me and has provided but I needed to go to my support groups and do small things for myself. Hang in there

February 10, 2007
12:05 am
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks tricia and need,

I did take a couple extra klonopin. Not too many though. I am just sick of life. I am getting married in 3 months. That is the only excitement going on for me. I spend hours online looking at beautiful weddig gowns even though I already have mine. I am obsessed with weddings. I love romance and people that truly love each other. That is a gift and I am thankful that GOd gave me my gift of my fiance. I have come a long way with him by my side. BUt what do I do? I hate life right now. I would sleep all day if I was tired enough. I don't do anything at all. I feel like a waste.

Jewel

February 10, 2007
12:14 am
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cut it out Jewel... you're not waste. I can't remember those sites right now... they're saved on my computer at work. But how are you wearing your hair anyway?

Are you going on a honeymoon? When we got married, we didn't need any presents - we pretty much had two of everything since we both lived on our own before we got together. So the place that we went for our honeymoon had a website where people made contributions to our vacation, instead of gifts. It worked out really well. Our picture is still on the site - I just checked the other day.

Don't take a bunch of pills tonight, jewel. Don't even think that way. Keep talking.

February 10, 2007
12:25 am
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

YOU ARE NOT A WASTE JEWEL...

Please do not take anymore pills tonight and keep talking...

Hang in there!!!

We all care about you Jewel...

February 10, 2007
12:25 am
Avatar
triciaisok
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Keep talking jewel- tell us about your wedding plans. Where did you get your wedding dress. Read my other thread we talked with each other earlier too. Hang in there

February 10, 2007
12:28 am
Avatar
southgoingzax
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 79
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Being cold all the time can be a symptom of malnutrition. You may be anemic, or have vitamin and/or mineral deficiencies. This is something you should talk to your doctor about. Jewel, sweetie, you need to get yourself in to a doctor soon and take a list with you of all the things you need to talk about - being cold, thinking you're fat, your eating habits, your depression, your thoughts of dying/suicide, your tiredness, etc. You need a complete work-up and reassessment about your meds and how they may be affecting you, both physically and mentally. The very best thing you can do for yourself is take charge of getting yourself healthy. Of course you are going to feel like crap if you are sick. And whether it's a mental illness or a physical one, or if you just need your medication adjusted, there is something going on here that needs to be fixed. You can find a way to improve your life, jewel, but you've got to decide you're worth doing that for.

I know this isn't an insurmountable problem, and I'm sure you want to get well and feel happy and healthy. So please take the first step and get yourself in to a doctor. If he/she doesn't listen to you, keep trying - keep explaining what you need, what you feel is wrong. That's why taking a list is a good idea. You've got to make some changes, dear. No one can go on forever the way you are feeling, so it's okay to ask for help, and please, keep asking until you get the help you need.

February 10, 2007
12:40 am
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Shaney,

We are getting married in the outerbanks of nc. We are not really honeymooning per se because we got a rental home with his family. WE have our own floor though. We arent going to be spending all of our time with them but it was cheaper to get a rental home and we all chipped in. I am not sure how I am going to be wearing my hair yet. I have a thread called beach wedding out there somewhere and others called nervous about wedding and wedding shower gifts if you want to read those.

Needtoheal,

It is so tempting to take pills because they are just there. I could take a bunch and just die if I really wanted to and that is scary.

Tricia,

I bought my dress at davids bridal. Here is a pic of it or at least a link. It goes down almost to my ankles.

http://www.davidsbridal.com/br.....dgroup=123

I hope the weather is nice since we are getting married on the beach.

Jewel

February 10, 2007
12:44 am
Avatar
triciaisok
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Getting married on the beach sounds romantic.

Please pay attention what southgoingzax had said about complete physical and medical stuff.

Keep talking

February 10, 2007
12:47 am
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

South,

Who do I ask for help? My family doc, shrink, therapist, or someone else. Thanks for the wonderful feedback. I just can't find the strength to get past this feeling. Nothing is working. Not even my sweetie. He is out on the streets patrolling as a cop. I miss him bunches and he will make a great husband. He is going to be in a body building show before the wedding so he has a nice body too. Doesn't have a 6 pack yet, but soon will. I have never been with a really strong guy.

Jewel

February 10, 2007
12:53 am
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

DId anyone take a look at my dress? I got mine in ivory. It just looked better for some reason. I have to get it taken in on the top because I have small boobs. I wear 34 B or C, but I have a very tiny back. It is bony because I am thin. But I look healthy and have curves. I have a butt. My little sis is a size 0, but has more of a boy figure. I am a size 1 or 3 for jeans, but my dress is a 4. It is perfect. I hope you all like it. It is good for the beach. I didnt want anything long dragging in the sand.

Jewel

February 10, 2007
12:55 am
Avatar
triciaisok
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sometimes we have to have the strenth for ourselves rather than lean on someone else. It is a paradox. We can want to be with them but we also must love ourselves.

Sometimes we have to nuture ourselves instead of "depending" on our significant other. We all need each other but there is a balance. Don't know if that makes sense but it is true.

Looked for your dress at David's Bridal. Is is a bridesmaids dress? All the ones I saw were long not to the ankles?

February 10, 2007
12:59 am
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I used to have a body builder boyfriend! I used to help him dye his body with that dyo-derm crap so he'd be SUPER tan for the competition. HA! My mom owned healthclubs my whole life, and I met him there while I was working. It didn't last... he was an idiot, but hey, he had a nice body. It worked for me at that time in my life.

Jewel, it sounds like you've got the best of both worlds - nice guy AND a nice body... good for you. Youre wedding sounds like it'll be a really nice time. They're a LOT of work, but worth it. Pretty soon, you're going to be way too busy to be depressed! I really like being married (almost 8 months now) but he IS a whiner when it comes to things like packing. He's a fire fighter too - you would think he'd be used to hard work. Some of us have those men who are really handy and helpful around the house, and some of us don't. I happen to be part of the population that doesn't. He's got lots of other good qualities - but right now I'd trade some of them for some real help packing! Ugh.

February 10, 2007
1:02 am
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Tricia,

If you copy and paste the link to your browser, it will come right up. You can't really see it clearly because the girl is sitting down. Let me know if you see it.

I do know what you mean about balance. My fiance helps me out a lot right now because I need his support, but I am very independent and tend to do things myself. AS of late though, he has been helping more than normal. I consider myself very mentally ill right now.

Jewel

February 10, 2007
1:04 am
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

CUTE DRESS! I love it - perfect for an outside wedding. If you had huge boobs, that dress would looke aukward on you. That dress is made for somebody who has a body like you.

Get excited jewel, it's right around the corner!

February 10, 2007
1:07 am
Avatar
jewel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Shaney,

It actually ties in the back but has a satin thing across the waist. I would love to have a big elegant wedding dress, but not for on the beach. You should see it on me. It was like made for me. I have a couple wedding threads out there shaney with some questions that you may be able to answer. I am glad you liked the dress.

Jewel

February 10, 2007
1:19 am
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

The wedding shower and the bridal shower (I'M PRETTY SURE) are the same thing. You usually get sexy nighties or things that are on your registry, and then you usually have to play some silly word scramble game or something for a prize that you'll never use. I didn't have a shower... my mom in law wanted to have a tea party at some foofy restaurant and I'm just not into that kind of stuff... plus I was REALLY busy with the wedding plans, so the tea party never happened. My mom in law is a little nutty and tortured me with wanting my wedding to be the way she envisioned it... so things got a little crazy at times. Be happy that you're having a wedding the way that YOU want it.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
27
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110976
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714260
Newest Members:
nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker, Why.., Why.
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information