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Feeling pretty defeated at the moment.....
July 24, 2007
10:17 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I am tired. At 31 years old, I am starting to almost believe that there is no light at the end of my tunnel. I went through all of the physical, sexual, and emotional abuse as a kid, along with neglect. I have struggled with that all of my life. I have fought suicidal tendancies, I have begun to fight cutting, I want to conquer positive thinking. Yet, every time that I feel like things MAY be looking up...we get set back 10 steps. I can't stand it anymore. My 6 year old has had 4 surgeries, my 4 year old has had 3, my 10 year old has had 12....(11 being brain surgeries), my husband had 2, and I have had two. Since 2003. I AM TIRED. In all of that I also have a baby that will be 1 next week. I am still recovering SLOWLY from my husterectomy which was 4 weeks ago. Things are just seeming gloomy all around to me. Then...my husband comes home today to tell me that he was laid off from his job. They told him this at 4:30 today. He was done today. I just can't take it right now. All I want is to cry, which I have done today a LOT. I just want someone to hold me and let me cry. Is there a hope truly? I feel so defeated....

July 24, 2007
10:28 pm
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fantas
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((((Scared)))) I am so sorry that things seem so bleak right now. It must be really difficult to sta positive with all that stuff swirling around you. Just take it one minute at a time, keep crying if you need to. Take a minute for yourself even if it's to breath deeply for 10 minutes. At the same time keep remembering all the things you and your family have survived. I hear so much strength and resilence in your e-mail. You have what it takes to overcome as well. Hang in there! I am sending lots and lots of hugs and positive thoughts!!

July 24, 2007
10:40 pm
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jv63
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hey Scared,

There is all ways hope. I have been in simalar situations my entire life. The good news is when we perservere there is a better day on the horizon. Eight years ago my wife had Cancer cervicle type we had a 3 mo old baby and 5 young children at home. I took off work for 6 weeks she went through hell as you sound like you understand. we were nearly bankrupt and an abundance of other problems (ill spare you the litny) I prayed we prayed the kids and all. It was months of tough times but we held on to our faith that God never puts more on us than we can handle. An intuitive thought or if you will an inspiration hit me at that time and i said it over and over untill it really soaked in and that thought was THE HOTTER THE FIRE THE PURER THE GOLD. That is exactly what happened. A year after that a great job practically fell in my lap and the company bought us a house and moed us to Califonia from Tex. They went broke a few years later but just as before we never gave on God and God never gave up on us. we are enjoying much better times now and are doing great. I guess i am say that it seems so dark some times it's hard to go on. But I know you cam muster the courage. If you have a higher power, you might consider that your higher power wouldn't bring you this far to leave you orphaned. I know your tired but as sure as the sun will rise tomorow so will there be a new oportunity to prosper. jv63

July 24, 2007
10:53 pm
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(((ScaredinMichigan + family)))

July 24, 2007
11:16 pm
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free
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I wish I knew the right words to say.

Yes, there's always hope. We're only defeated when we stop believing this.

(((mich)))

free

July 24, 2007
11:21 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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(((fantas, jv63, mzrella, free)))

Thank you all for your support at this time. It is just a struggle for me at the moment. I want to hide...I really do. I really need a glimmer of hope, and at the moment, I am NOT seeing it.

I appreciate you all.

July 25, 2007
10:59 pm
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fantas
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(((Scared))) how are you doing today?

July 26, 2007
12:25 pm
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truthBtold
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(((((scared)))))

When times get really dark for me, I call on my spirit guide and angels and ask for SPECIFIC help.

Sending you loads of prayers and support as you weather this tough storm.

Have you asked for help from relatives, friends, folks at church (if applicable)

No shame in that. Heavy load that you are carrying - and there just may be some folks out there who wouldn't mind in the least if you asked for their help.

((((((HUGS)))))))

July 26, 2007
1:20 pm
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armyleo
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(((Mich)))

I am sooo sorry all this is happening...

I don't know what to say except, that i'm thinking of you. Don't look to far into the future, just continue one day at a time, one hour at a time...

Love ya,
Army

July 26, 2007
7:15 pm
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jasminum sambac
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(((ScaredinMichigan)))

Thinking about you and the family. Hope you've gotten some rest between the last time you posted and now. Much love,

Jas

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