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feeling invisible.
March 21, 2004
7:48 pm
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lovergirlllll
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September 27, 2010
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I wonder if anyone out there can relate to a feeling of utter invisibility, and can help me look at this in another way. I have spent my whole life just trying to get along, to be good... How can I break free of my family? I just don't know how to even re-frame the possibility that doesn't make me feel completely guility. I'm talking my parents here, and I'm almost 40...Its awful. But I feel so guilty, trapped, powerless...I know its irrational, but everytime I take a step forward, I feel like I'm stepping off the edge of the world. I think this is where my suicidal impulses come from. It seems like the only way I"ll ever be free...free of my parents pain, and need...I know this is primarily in my own head...its really crazy. I've always been the family scapegoat, its really pathetic. If anyone can share any words of wisdom here, I'd really appreciate it. I seem to have this place in my brain that is just impossibly resigned to being this invisible, nothing person...its really sad, and really pathetic.

March 21, 2004
9:21 pm
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sel0309
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September 29, 2010
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Taking a step forward is a brave thing to do in becoming healthy. Its ok to acknowledge your feelings about being invisible. I feel that way at times. When you begin to feel this way, sit and look up at the sky and watch the clouds pass by. Make a list of the people and qualities you have for which you are grateful. Keep this list with you and when you begin to feel invisible pull the list out. Be easy on yourself. You will make it. Do something for yourself, a bubble bath, a walk, read a book, pray, paint or do something creative. What type of things come to mind that put a smile on your face? For me, it would be my two dogs wrestling in the grass, a daisy, a slice of cheesecake. Take it a day at a time and be proud of what you are doing each day.

March 21, 2004
9:44 pm
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gingerleigh
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