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Feeling depressed
July 20, 2005
7:59 pm
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michigangirl
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Hi everyone~

I guess I'm looking for some words of encouragement. My boyfriend and I decided to break up on Sunday. We only dated for a couple months, and he wasn't my "ideal" mate in the long run, but I'm feeling the loss of "having" someone there. I feel really lonely, and also like my time is running out! I'm 28 years old and have never been married. I just feel like I'm never going to find the one that I am to marry. Thanks for listening. Any words of wisdom are welcomed and appreciated 🙂

July 20, 2005
8:41 pm
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on my way
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hi michigan...
I was 28 years old when I was married...not too old. More men adn women are waiting longer these days. And when the time comes it will most likely be perfect timing and you may be glad you waited.

July 20, 2005
8:43 pm
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dazed and confused
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Atleast you aren't married and going through a divorce right now. 28 is young. I wish at 28 I had never been married. Focus on yourself and your goals and when you quit looking the man of your dreams may arrive.

July 20, 2005
8:50 pm
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angel4U
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Hi michigangirl - And welcome to AAC! There are lots of warm and wonderful people here.

I have been (actually am) in your shoes, and my best words of advise are to do your best to try to stop worrying about the unknown, and refocus your life on setting goals to help you obtain what you want in your life. If you are seeking a life-time partner, try to outline what you believe will make a good mate for you. Then maybe try some of the dating options that are available today, or join a club, activity, church group, etc. that might help you meet someone with similar interests.

But please don't consume yourself with just focusing on finding a marriage partner, or it will drive you crazy (and could make you look too desperate) ... and worrying about loneliness and never getting married could actually cause you to make a choice that is not right for you. I think it is also important to focus on what makes you happy, goals that you want to achieve, and building other relationships/friendships outside of romantic ones. It not only eases the loneliness, but also helps you grow and learn about yourself and others ... and helps you to become a better partner too.

From my experience, I find it much easier to date when my confidence and happiness in myself is up, and more people actually show interest in dating me at that time too.

Good luck to you and keep posting. I am sure others will have some wonderful advise to offer you, too.

angel4u

July 20, 2005
10:05 pm
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Just Lost
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michigangirl,

don't sweat it. I dated my wife from the time I was 23 until now....36. Now we are steps away from divorce. I'm 8 years up on you. Please don't think of it as time running out. When you get to 36, then you can really start worrying about it. I am starting all over now as well but 8 years less.

July 20, 2005
10:13 pm
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sunshine1959
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Hi Michigan Girl,
I just joined this a couple days ago, and already I feel better just knowing there are others that understand and know our pain.

Hon, and I can say that because I am 46. I haven't learned yet failed marriages took alot of time away. That's not to say that I am sorry, I have two beautiful sons, 22 and 11, but try to count your blessings that you weren't married and you didn't have alot of time invested. I hope that doesn't sound mean, but you are so young, and I truly believe there are more men than one out there that are good for each one of us. The real point is, and again, I haven't learned all yet, but is to try to learn from each relationship. In some ways, none of them are a waste, because we grow from them.
Smile and realize that there are people out there that care about you and will listen. Your okay Hon, just hang in there, one day at a time.

July 20, 2005
11:02 pm
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22haha
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MG- In the same boat with ya. At 32 I just ended my 6 year abusive relationship. All I can tell you is be glad you didn't marry someone who wasn't right for you. It is hard to be alone but you deserve to be completely happy. Don't worry when your not looking you'll meet someone great. I think if I wait any longer and have kids they will end up with two heads :o) But nevertheless, I would never marry the wrong person just to marry. Keep your chin up in the mean time.

July 20, 2005
11:44 pm
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EJ
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Hi Michigangirl,

You are SO smart. I wish I'd been as smart as you are and not gotten involved (married - now separated - with 2 kids) to someone who wasn't right for me.

Believe me, now that I'm separated I can honestly say, it's so much better to be by yourself than in a bad relationship. I don't think anything's as draining as a bad relationship. I can also honestly say - and I'm only 36 and I love sex - that I'd rather be celebate for the REST OF MY LIFE than spend one more day in a relationship with my husband as he is now.

Don't settle. You'll never regret having waited for someone really great, and you'll never stop regreting settling for the wrong guy.

Hold the fort.
Love EJ

July 21, 2005
12:17 am
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Just Lost
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its so sad....we go through everyday life hoping to meet the person who is truly right for us. all we tend to find are the bad ones. but on here, we come together to help each other through the pain and hurt. its too bad we cant match ourselves up through this site!

July 21, 2005
3:05 pm
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kathygy
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The best thing to do at this time is to focus on you and working at buidling a healthy, loving relationship with yourself. The healthier you are the healthier men you will attract. Why spend time feelings anxious and frustrated over finding mr. right when you can work on feeling happy with you just as you are now? Trust that it will happen. I don't doubt it. You are still very young. I am 55 and 28 sounds like a baby to me. You have plenty of time. Try to relax knowing that everything will work out.

July 23, 2005
1:13 am
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luckycat
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July 23, 2005
1:15 am
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luckycat
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July 23, 2005
1:16 am
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luckycat
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