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Feeling Blah today.........
July 6, 2007
4:23 pm
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Lisa Ann
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Well, I guess I'm feeling the same old feelings of co-dependency. I felt great last week, but now this week I'm feeling a little bit co-dependent again. SO, what is the answer to that???? I should go to a meeting or something, right? Well, we only have one meeting here in town and it's on Tuesday nights. I'm going to it next Tuesday and I CAN'T WAIT!!!! But, in the meantime, I am planning on going to an AA meeting tonight and then out for fellowship afterwards. But, I'm really struggling with the fact that my boyfriend is out at the lakes and having fun without me. So, here is what I guess I'm thinking - tell me what you guys think. I started to feel a bit anxious this morning because he did not send me a text message before noon. I guess I just assumed that he would do that. So, I sent him one asking if everything was okay and he said things were great - he was making breakfast for his daughter (at noon :o) Anyway, my problem seems to be my DAMN phone. I am wondering if I should just shut it off or turn it to silent and do not look at it all day. Do not take it with me at night - you see, it's the only way for people to get a hold of me, but I find myself looking at it all the time to see if he has called or if there is a text message. What should I do? Turn it off, leave it at home, suggestions????

July 6, 2007
4:35 pm
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Antagonist
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Turn your phone off, leave it at home. Trust me, just putting it on silent will not work. I've been there and have done that.

July 6, 2007
4:39 pm
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Lisa Ann
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Thank you - I think that is what I will do tonight. I'm turning it off and I'm telling my daughter that if she needs to get a hold of me, she needs to IM me. That will work. Then, when I get home tonight, I can turn it on and check my messages, unless anyone else has tried to get a hold of me. It is my only form of communication here, I do not have a regular phone hooked up at my apartment. BUT, I do have internet, which seems to pretty much replace almost everything else these days.

Anyway, thanks for the suggestion. I am thinking that it might be good for me to leave my phone behind a lot this weekend.

July 6, 2007
4:51 pm
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Antagonist
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Just to make you feel a little better and assure you that you are not alone, let me tell you my past experience with this whole phone issue.

I used to put it on silent and put it in my car and go in for work. But I would find myself coming to my car every hour or so to check and see if anyone sent me anything. I used to check my phone a million times a day. My family would keep telling me that I need to get help lol.

Do whatever you can to break yourself from this bad habit. Like turn it on only for a few hours a day when most people call you and when you get home and need time to relax just turn it off.

I still have some traces of it left in me. I need to stop picking up the phone all the time. My friends call me whenever they want and I am always reachable, but when I need something and call or txt I don't get a respond. And the next day or so when they do end up calling or texting they act like I never tried to reach them. It's funny cause when most people call me they need something for me, I don't understand why I just cant stop picking the damn thing up.

July 6, 2007
4:57 pm
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Lisa Ann
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Thank you for that information. I really feel like I have learned something today. That is so true - I text my friends A LOT and I do not get responses back from a lot of them. When I do get a text from someone, I respond almost immediately. SO, I'm turning the damn thing off and only turning it on a couple of times a day to check messages and that's it. My family has my work number and they can call me here anytime during the day, if they need me. Plus, I'll make sure my computer is logged on to IM - I only talk with my family on there anyway, so I won't be treating IM like I do my phone.

Thank you so much - you really made some great points about the phone business.

July 6, 2007
5:01 pm
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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lisa, it's also possible to change your cell number...then your family can continue to call and he can't.

don't give the new number to him or text from it.

OR

get a pager for family to call you. it's a smaller monthly payment, but then you can simply turn the phone on when you need to use it and shut it off when you don't...and the family can reach you.

changing your cell number may be most logical tho. and worth the few dollars it may cost.

July 6, 2007
5:05 pm
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Lisa Ann
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I like the pager idea for family issues. This is definitely a frustrating issue - I love having my phone available to me at all times, but I find that I am totally distracted at my job, or having a conversation with someone, if I feel my phone buzzing, I get totally distracted and can't focus on what anyone else is saying. It sucks! So, I just turned it off and I don't plan on turning it on again until I get ready for bed tonight - maybe not even then, who knows???? I need to check on my daughter though, so I'm sure I will turn it on and call her and if I have any messages, I will check them and shut it off again. BUT, the one problem I have is what if there is an emergency with my daughter??? This is the only way she can get a hold of me.

July 6, 2007
5:16 pm
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Don't turn your phone on to check messages when you are about to go to bed. Once again I have been there and have done that. Your gonna realize that he did not text or call you, which in return will make you depressed, then you won't be able to sleep so you'll end up txting him to see how he is doing while he is sleep. Then you will not get a reply until morning which will turn your night into nothing but frustration and horrible sleep. During the night you need rest. Turn that phone off, don't check it before bed and get a good nights rest.

Give your daughter your work phone, worst case scenario she can call you there.

You can always change your number, I had my number changed when my ex-girlfriend would not stop calling me for sex. I sometimes regret changing my number, thinking maybe it would have been better if my ex could call me still.

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