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feeling a little unstable, paranoid and unhinged? anyone get this after breakups?
May 2, 2005
3:29 am
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Since I broke up with my bf I have been feeling kind of strange. There are so many odd feelings- I feel detached from everything around me, shakey, paranoid, anxious, insecure in general. My boss took me aside and remarked that I seem "out of it." And I have. It's been VERY hard for me to function. On days off I stay in bed until 4pm sometimes. My life is kind of a mess in minor ways. This is something I posted about before, so bare with me.

I am treated for a mood disorder and will be seeing my doctor soon (one who does NOT listen to me and over medicates me... but I"m looking for another). But this doesn't seem completely to be from my illness. Has anyone had this from a life changing event like a breakup?

-ella

May 2, 2005
6:35 am
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CODA_Mom
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Hey ella,

Sorry that you are going thru all of this, and I wanted to mention that most people who go to psychiatrists and/or doctors for meds also don't feel listened to. Most of the time, they are so busy and over-booked that they want to hurry folks in and out of the office because they are so much in demand.

If you, in fact, do have a mood disorder, then I would expect the symptoms listed that you have described. During major stressors (e.g., a relationship breakup) mood disorders usually come into "full bloom" and this is when we see an increase in self-destructive behaviors.

In my opinion, what would really help is for you to be on the right meds and to go for counseling around the same time. We are looking at both a physical and emotional concern here, not just physical. You need to be able to talk about your relationship breakup because the stress of the loss has exacerbated what was already in place with your mood disorder.
In other words, the breakup did not cause the mood disorder, but has caused it to "rear its head".

You will get thru this, ella, with the right meds and time. Please keep in touch and let us know how things go.

Regards,

CM

May 2, 2005
6:39 am
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CAMER
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hi Ella, seems like when we lose bf's we seem to lose our world, this is normal, part of your life is differnt now. Imyself, feel so empty and so alone after a breakup, but I know i felt alot more pain being in a bad relationship than being alone. Take this time to nurture yourself, hug yourself daily and know that you will be ok.

My prayers are with you!~Camer

May 2, 2005
1:19 pm
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2bstrong
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Hi ella,

Yes. Feel hazy and distant from everything, even all of the things I like to do. I trust that everyone is right in saying this will pass.

Love to all of us! Can't have enough good wishes and love.

2bstrong

May 2, 2005
2:01 pm
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kathygy
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I don't agree with making a blanket generalization about psychiatrist not listening. I have had very caring psychiatrists who I felt really listended to me.

It sounds like you are over reacting to a break up. If your not functioning normally you need to get help. I have had many very serious break ups and always functioned just fine even though my heart was broken in a million pieces.

May 2, 2005
2:37 pm
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kc30
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Yeah, I was a mess when we first split...couldn't eat, sleep, focus on anything, completely consumed and obsessed, eventually started having panic attacks- that scared me enough to finally start looking after myself.

And I saw a counsellor weekly...it was a great help.

kc

May 2, 2005
6:15 pm
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CODA_Mom
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You're right, kathygy, I guess that I did make a sweeping generalization about psychiatrists.

At the clinic where I work, we have one full-time psychiatrist who comes 2 days/month. He works for 9 hours straight, seeing a new client every 15-20 minutes. Somewhere sandwiched within that time, he conducts a "med group" meeting with about 9-12 clients.

Needless to say, I hear many complaints from some of these folks, who are also my clients for counseling. They complain to me about the lack of listening on his part and they are very frustrated with this. Other clients who have outside psychiatrists also complain about the same thing. I believe it is because we live in an area where psychiatrists are in short supply and most of them are stretched to the limit.

I am sorry for the generalization, and thank you for calling this to my attention.

CM

May 2, 2005
9:59 pm
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CODA_Mom-

Hi. Actually, I do not feel listened to when I go to my doctor. I go in the door and I am handed a form where I rate my mood 1-10 and some other multiple choice questions. My doctor speaks to me between five and ten minutes and virtually ignores most of what I have to say. THis has not been the case with the doctors I've had in the past, so I am looking for another. My therapist has heard similar complaints about my doctor and is concerned. I do trust my therapist and see her regularly.

What you said makes a lot of sense. I'm hoping to share about it in my mood disorders group and see what others' experiences have been. It just hasn't hit me like this before so I find it curious. I have been told as long as I can keep on working that this is something to feel good about. But there is more to life than just showing up for work. I miss the joy in little things.

Thanks for writing.
-ella

May 2, 2005
10:09 pm
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Hey Camer,

Thanks for replying. Once I believed strongly in the idea that I rather feel the pain of being alone than the pain of a bad relationship- much like you said. Really, all I have done is forgotten this, and I need to remember. When I kicked my bf out of the apartment I was so much stronger than I am now- only because all those bad experiences were so fresh in my mind and I KNEW I was doing the right thing. But how soon we forget... and I got back with him... but not long enough to give me a reality check. So now I miss this mythical person. This is a good example for no contact.

Thank you for the reassurance.
-ella

May 2, 2005
10:14 pm
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2bstrong-

All I can say is I'm wishing you well. Obviously I'm not exactly a fountain of wisdom.

sending my best,
ella

May 2, 2005
10:20 pm
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kc30-

My counselor is great, but this is taking some time. I go to a support group that seems like it will be helpful as well. I'm just counting on the cliche "time heals all wounds." But I wish it would do it faster! 🙂

Thanks.
-ella

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