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Feel the need to talk!
June 27, 2000
1:49 am
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DONNIE
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September 29, 2010
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It's me again. My life is as confusing as ever. My husband recently went on a vacation with the guys however his sister and 20 yr old neice went along. I have noticed a pattern that before he goes on these nights or weekends out we usually have an argument before he goes ( which he starts) usually over sex and his lack of it and it's usually my fault he is going on these trips because if he felt he had a reason to stay home he would. This particular one I had the loss of a loved one and he asked if he should give up the trip. I simply responded with, You do whatever you want to do. So he went on the trip. I don't think if the shoe was on the other foot that I would have asked I simply would have not went. There was a time that I tried to give him every reason I could to come home. It never worked then either. I'm not perfect and I have my flaws but I have given up on him as far as the fact that it doesn't seem to matter what I do. It's never the right thing. He has only acted interested since he thinks I don't give a crap. And maybe he feels threatened. I feel that once I let my guard down he will continue on as usual. He doesn't talk to me and I don't talk to him. We simply exist. But to him sex is love and thats all that matters. I feel like a piece of meat. He tells the children he wishes they could have been with him and there is nowhere he'd rather be however he never offered to take them with him and most of the time goes out without them. He never even hugs them or kisses them at night. They don't notice when he comes home. He is like another chair in the kitchen. Most recently he loudly stated that the children is what has ruined our relationship because I put them before him. They were crushed!!! I do put them before him. I had to explain what he meant to say to smooth things over. However he has never put any need of mine before his own. I have sunk myself into my children. And I have two wonderful children. After a long scene the night before he left. I gave in to shut him up as usual. (sex) Once he got what he wanted he arose showered and left for his vacation and tells me I love you darling. I can't even respond. 5 days 1 phone call and he comes home wanting to know how bad I missed him claiming he missed us so much. Last trip 4 days and no phone call I didnt even know what state he was in. He gets very irrated when he comes home and the red carpet is not rolled out. I am sorry but by now my attitude sux... I often wish he would just get lost on his way back. THE GAMES PEOPLE PLAY!!!! I am sick of the games and need strength to stop. I love him but I don't like him very much. I think he could be better with someone else. He is not a terrible person to others, just me. I often feel more like his mother. He wants me to handle everything as far as the running of the home. Just not him. Help!!!!!I need strength.

June 27, 2000
7:54 am
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Spirit
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Remember, its his stuff, not yours. Yes, he is playing a game, unfortunately it involves the innocent. Have you gone to councelling for any of this, if only to strengthen yourself? Being with a self-absorbed person is draining and damaging to ones energy. By now, it really doesn't matter why he is doing what he is doing, there are children in the middle who are getting very mixed signals. Shame on him for the head-games he plays. Hang tough. Seek out the person you can speak to about this. You need to vent it out, before you explode. We, all of us, are here for you...

June 27, 2000
4:02 pm
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sad and stuck
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I can relate to allot of this.. You sound like a real nice person and you should really get some counseling. I used to go to a great counselor and just stopped because I had a million excuses, but listening to you has made me re-think and I think I should make an appointment. You sound like a caring person take care of yourself and tell yourself your worth having a better relationship than you have.

June 27, 2000
10:38 pm
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DONNIE
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September 29, 2010
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Thanks again for all the encouragement You cannot begin to understand how much talking about these things help even though your right I need counselling for me. To help me get the stength to possibly get out. As I said I love him but sometimes love is not enough. Thank you all so much. There is so much more but It's all about the same results.

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