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Feel lonly after marriage....
November 5, 2002
2:14 pm
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rosemarry
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September 29, 2010
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My problem is very weird. I just got married 1 and 1/2 years but for some unknown reasons, I don't have any feeling and enjoyment that I just got married. Most of time, I feel I am abandoned and unwanted.

My husband is very busy with his work. After marriage, we don't have any quality talk at all. Most of time, we just had few seconds talk. Sometimes, we visit my parents, he acted as one of the routins that he has to do. I am not sure if he enjoy it or not. He likes to talk to his family most of time (They live very far away) but he hardly let me participate their conversation. I once accidently saw the email between him and his family. I think he kindda told his family that I don't have any friends at all. It hurts me. I am a very shy person but I do have some close friends. I think there is nothing wrong of being shy but I was surprised to realize that being shy is kindda a defect to them. (Or, I am just thinking nagatively right now.)

I remember when we just got married, he yelled at me most of time over lots of little arguments. Most of time he yelled that he wanted to get divorced. However, after arguments, my parents sat down with him and confirmed if he really wanted to get divorced. He usually said that he doesn't want to and it was just a emotional move. However, all the yelling already caused damages in my heart especially we just got married.

Until now, we still don't have sex. I don't know if that's because the damages caused in the beginning of our marriage or we are both bad at how to have sex.

He is nice to me now. We cuddle, kiss and hug but all these are just not enough, I think. I don't feel that I got married. I feel that I was in prison and I don't know when I will be free.

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