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Fed up with good reason!
October 29, 2006
4:34 pm
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katarina
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Well, here I am. Again! I came down with the flu Friday. My husband who is a jerk was at a sporting competition. You guys I was so sick, I threw up all night was dizzy and had a high fever. I asked him to take me home Saturday morning since I was too sick to stay there. He wouldn't he wanted me to call my sister. I met him there in my car. I was so sick I said I needed to go home. I knew he wouldn't take me because his sportin thing was more important then me. I drove home! I shouldn't of but,,I had a two hour drive to get home. I was so out of it. This is the second time I was very ill and he didn't care. I am so stupid. This man dosen't love me. It's all about him. what fits into his schedule. I am nothing to him. I have been with him seven years. I can't go on like this.

October 29, 2006
4:43 pm
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chelonia mydas
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((Katarina)),

I am so sorry to hear you are so sick and that your husband didn't help you. It sucks to be with someone who is so selfish. My husband is very similar. We recently separated and I love being on my own. I feel guilty for not missing him- but it feels so much better without him right now.

A few months ago I had to have surgery which required general anaesthesia and he went to a hockey tournament the next day for the entire weekend and never even called to check on me. I have no family within 1000 miles and I had to ask friends to come take care of me. My boss was more concerned about my surgery and recovery than he was.
For more on my story you can visit the threads "feeling lost in love and used for sex" and "update from chelonia: he finally left..."

I don't know if I will stay with my h or not. Still trying to figure it all out. I don't really have any advice- just wanted you to know you are not alone.

Hugs,
Chelonia

October 29, 2006
5:00 pm
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katarina
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Thanks for caring. I feel trappped. I know I am not but, can't beleive I am with someone who is so selfish. I thought I had to go to the hospital. I was so dizzy. I am still real sick. He called my sister and asked if he needed to come home? please. I see now he will never change. I am going to think of my next move.

October 29, 2006
5:04 pm
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cyndra820
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(((Katrina)))

I'm sorry you are so sick. I can't believe how selfish some people can be. I hope you feel better soon.

Love,
Cyndra

October 29, 2006
5:27 pm
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katarina
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Chel when you seperated where did you go? I'm with a man that has all control over the finaces. I'm not even on any of the bank accounts or cards. I live in his house. I don't even feel it is mine.

October 29, 2006
5:30 pm
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katarina
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Oh yea to add another thing. My mom died of cancer in March. after about a month he asked me Does everything have to stop because your mom died? I need to leave this man.

October 29, 2006
9:51 pm
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chelonia mydas
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Katarina,

I fully support your thoughts on needing to leave.

As for my situation, I asked him to move out because I have too many pets to live in an apartment. So I have the house and most of the pets (23 of them- dogs, cats, birds and turtles). He lives in an apartment with 2 dogs. We shared financal responsibilites and we both have jobs- so we have worked the finances where he pays for all pet expenses (becuase he makes a bunch more than me) and all expenses related to his apartment. I pay for the house and my expenses. I have had to get on a serious budget because our morgage is expensive- but I should be OK. I got my own bank account and am so proud of myself. November will be the first month I will pay my own bills (we had to pay them from the joint account last month because I couldn't get my direct deposit changed in time and he wrote checks against my paycheck so I couldn't have it transferred to my account- but I really think he was just trying to keep be dependant on him)

As for you...
I would suggest that if you don't have a job- you should get one. Get your own bank account and deposit your paycheck into it. Get an apartment if you can, if not do you have friends or relatives you could stay with a few months while you are saving up to get one? If not then you can also seek help from women's shelters. You don't have to be physically beaten to ask them for help. They are there to help all women better them selves and live a life free of neglect and abuse- including mental/emotional neglect/abuse.

I would also suggest building a support group of friends and family who can help you through this. This site is wonderful for this too. It has helped me a lot.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

October 29, 2006
10:29 pm
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katarina
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I have a job for seventeen years. He is well off. I make a ok salary. I have good benefits. He just dosen't want to share anythin with me. He is the most selfish man I have ever known.

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