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Fear
March 28, 2004
2:20 am
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How to remove this fear out of your mind. The fear of failure, rejection, bad performance, fear of your boss, your teacher.etc etc and list is endless. How do we come out of this?

March 28, 2004
2:50 am
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Freya
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Believe in yourself despite what others say, do or pretend. It is all up to you. Know that you are enough as you are. Acceptance of self is the key. Love your self.

March 28, 2004
1:40 pm
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sixfootblonde
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Song on the radio as I read this thread is pretty apt -- I would like to share it with you.

"I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone's shadow
If I fail, if I succeed,
At least I lived as I believe.
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity.
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me....
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me...
Learning to love yourself --
It is the greatest love of all."

That is an old song, but growing and learning as I have been now for a while, the words are so so important to recognize and internalize. I can remember singing those lines in sixth grade music class......blithely and smilingly. But oh the power behind them!! Look how many years until I really got it!

That is the key tho. After that, true growth can occur. Learning to love yourself....takes a lot more work than you would think. But oh so worth it!

March 28, 2004
2:32 pm
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free
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How to erase fear out of my mind? Gosh, I wish I knew.

free

March 28, 2004
2:42 pm
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liddy
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I find that indeciveness is based on
fear. Don't be afraid, when you
want something positive, just take
the risk and go out there and do it.
You fail less seldom than you think.

March 28, 2004
3:36 pm
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lovesickpuppie
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rejection is like a wall first time u hit it it hurts but you get up and try again eventually you climb the wall. ive been rejected many times. by girls i loved by people who hate me for what i am. but its your life and u decude how u live it. if that involves certain people rejecting you then so be it. if they reject you then theyre not worth worrying over. the same with failure. theres no such thing as failure if you fail to get something or someone it teaches you that you either need to try harder or try another angle

March 30, 2004
2:43 pm
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well...to me...I guess being rejected can make you feel stronger. Because then - hey - at least you tried, you gave it a shot, you took a chance or whatever. And moreover, what the fuck do you have to lose anyway? If you get rejected it probably says more about the person doing the rejecting than about you (and your worth) as a human being. If you've never been rejected you've never truly lived. As long as you're not rejecting yourself - like Freya said already "acceptance of self is the key" - you'll never miss out on your "comfort zone". Have you been watching a soccer or baseball game recently? You have ??...well, scoring points means throwing or kicking the ball first, doesn't it , huh? So off you go, girrrl........let's kick some ass here :)find the power behind you

I remember reading somewhere :"you'll never gonna feel or know that you're the one who's putting yourself in irons if you're afraid to move". Your own fear can keep you chained but you'll never know the extent its hampering your life until you decide to move and not sit still like a duck on a fence. So invite your fear to go with you on a shopping spree !

if you keep in mind that you're always the (end-)result of everything you ever tried or started, then what does it mean exactly if you failed? Is it about doing or being, huh?

"the end depends upon the beginning"
and the beginning is.....(*** - three letter word)

Kedash ! True

March 30, 2004
4:22 pm
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- living without fear is expecting you to be you -

March 30, 2004
4:32 pm
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victim_of_oneself
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Fear can be used for good things, so I have to take the opposite side of the coin on this one. I believe it would be detrimental to extinguish all fear from one's mind, otherwise, appropriate actions may never be taken. Fear is part of your conscience and should be controlled but not forgotten. Fear of having emotions is a bad thing. Fear of authority figures or people, that's a bad thing. Phobias and the like, bad things. There's always a way to find help dealing. Fear of rejection? Perhaps those doing the rejecting have the same fear...being rejected. If you can establish trust first, then perhaps fear won't even become part of the equation. If your fear is rejection in the scenario where you're in a club asking 10 different women to dance, chances are 'someone' is going to reject you. They probably have their reasons but they aren't to be taken personally.

March 31, 2004
6:30 am
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Miffy
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I have fear about kissing a new "friend" that I am attracted to because he is far away from my could marry criteria (which I have used to establish boundaries). This goes to the core of my issues - I always end up here. Problem number one is that I am obsessing about this kiss - which may or may not happen and may or may not lead to other things, am fearful about being in a position where my codependence takes over and I want to be in a relationship with him and then feeling ashamed because there are so many things about him that mean that he is not someone I would spend the rest of my life and have kids with. Yours obsessively and full of fear xx

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