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Fear of gossip
February 8, 2001
11:30 am
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GregY
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September 30, 2010
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Here's a problem I'm having. My wife and I have a good marriage, but a few years ago, we had some marital problems, due to reasons beyond our control and too long to detail here - nothing to do with cheating or anything like that. My wife blames everything that happened on someone in my family (call her M). She claims that M went around spreading stories about her. Anyway, before there could be a major confrontation, M went out of state and was forgotten - but now she's back. Even though this is some years ago, my wife fears this person so much that literally at the very mention of M she has to take valium. She doesn't know M that well but she says she has come across similar people in the past and knows what terrible damage they can do by rumor and gossip. She will not go to any family functions as M may be there and relations are getting strained. She refuses to discuss this with a counsellor. Can anyone suggest what I can do?

February 8, 2001
8:16 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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Champion for your woman, if this is your family member, and you sat back while she ripped, then I understand your wifes upset. Make sure your wife knows that you will take a stand, that you will ward off all evil gossip, and further more present the facts that your woman is a Godsend. That she is the woman, yada yada yada, and that you will not tolorate any negative comments, or you will no longer have anything to do with the family. I have come up against this kind of crap and it is so hurt ful, knowing you have done nothing. In ten years of marriage, I went to may be three family events that were torturus. I left my husband for his lack of support, and when I returned he did just that. It is amazing the turn around in the family, all of a sudden I have nieces and nephews calling me aunti, when before I was referred to as the f***** B****. Make your voice heard, make your family hear it, and let your wife know, that you are her champion, and she your queen, and be prepared, she will love you beyond your imagination, besides the vallium will not be taken, because your there.

February 9, 2001
12:00 am
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counslr336
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September 24, 2010
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if M was forgetten , how is it that he cannot stay forgotten? There is something more to this then what is written on this thread. what is it about M that has your wife paranoid/

February 9, 2001
8:05 pm
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janes
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September 24, 2010
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Who in the hell is prescribing her valium "Mother's little helper" with out some therapy or counseling.

Tell her with out counseling no more valium.

She needs to face the fears groundless or not.

She needs help building her self esteem too.

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