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Families Hurted Me
November 21, 1999
11:04 pm
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GiGi
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I don't know what did I do wrong. My mother got sick and I took her to the hospital due to mother's not taking blood pressure pill. I asked Mom why and she said no money for pills. I was upset and couldn't understand why can't she ask me to borrow my money. Anyway, I emailed her sisters (out of state)to let them know about Mom's health. They were upset cuz they're concerned. One sister is sending money to her. Mom's father (lives locally) visited my Mom and got mad her for not telling him about her health and pills. He was crying (he's 86). Next day, I read email and got reply from her sister. I was in totally shocked when she said that I should not let my son see my Mom for visit too much due to her health. I only let my 2 yrs. old son see her twice a week (no more than 3 hrs.) Another upsetting part is when she said about my cats - how to take a better care of them. I couldn't believe my Mom told her sister about my cat's treatment. It is true that I did not care my cat that much. I was shocked to found out that my Mom told many personal things about my life to them. I am so embarrassed and angry that I couldn't be able to talk to Mom and relatives anymore. I wished I moved away from Mom (she and I lives on same street) so she won't know my personal life and tell others about it. I felt so low and upset since that. What's your advice?

November 24, 1999
8:14 am
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Jaskid
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GiGi,

That must of hurt to find out that your mother was telling others in your family about your life. You probably do not want to share anything with her anymore. My mom has hurt me like that also. Unintentional I think. Sometimes people say stuff to others without thinking. It might be a good idea to tell your mother that she hurt you by doing this. And you would appreciate it if she would not talk about you like that. Be confident GiGi.... I stopped caring a long time ago what my family thinks of me. I tell them... no I am not perfect and never claim to be, and let them know that what's in my life is my business and they can either support me or keep their mouths shut. If they have a problem with something concerning me I tell them to come to me... don't talk behind my back, because that hurts. You know in your heart what is right and what is wrong.... don't let anyone bring you down! Most of all love yourself...all of you.... know the positive and the negative things about you build your character and make you stronger. Try and forgive the ones that hurt you... It will free you from alot of bitterness and will not block you from growing into the person you know you can be. Keep me updated... take care..
Jaskid

November 24, 1999
4:28 pm
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nurse
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It is true that you can pick your friends but not your family. but, on the other hand she is your mother who i'm sure you love dearly and that is why you hurt so much. Have you tried talking with her ( calmly) how you feel?.... That you are hurt by her remarks?
The longer you leave it , the harder it will get.She may be angry with herself because of her health somepeople behave differently when they are frightend
or worried. Try telling her that you LOVE HER, this always pulls the heart strings. I wish you well and hope things work out for you.

November 25, 1999
12:11 am
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GiGi
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I will try talking to her after the holiday. I've thought about what you said and I agreed. I'll keep you informed sometime this week. Thanks for your advices - it sure helps me alot. I appreciate it and I hope you all have a nice Thanksgiving. gigi

November 25, 1999
1:37 am
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daizy
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I think we all can relate to this subject. It's not easy, but sometimes you can learn a lesson from it.

Take me and my mother. We seem to be total oppostites. She is a neat freak beyond belief - I'm not the only one who can relate to her. Anyway, I'm not the cleanest person, after all I have two children. There are also many other differences that can sometimes seperate us, but as I grow older and hopefully wiser I'm learning to cope and handle the differences we have.
Lately instead of holding it in, I tell her how I feel. You know the best thing about this is that I can actually tell my mom that she has pissed me off and still have a good relationship with her.
So what I'm saying is, don't hold out. Don't let hurt feelings leave a gap in the relationship. I know it's hard to confront our parents, but if done so and done right it can build a stronger bond.

November 25, 1999
5:42 pm
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nurse
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Hi GIGI,
Thankyou for replying, I hope all goes well. Daizy seems to have a good relationship with her mother, they both know where they stand!! Saying what you mean
is sometimes hard though. Happy thanksgiving to all, this is a time for families to get together. I'm from England, so we do not celebrate Thanksgiving but thanks anyway.........Have a good time.xx

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