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FaIlEd AtTeMpT!!!
December 20, 2001
2:56 pm
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artist 2
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What a bastard. What a SHI*.

You can tell her how I myself had a pimply face, was overweight, and was lonely and miserable at her age... I don't know... take her shopping? to the ballet? buy her a guitar?

December 20, 2001
3:11 pm
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gingerleigh
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Hm... media indeed. The media is always to blame... it's sick yes, but where does the true responsibility lie? With the parents. We blame Beavis and Butthead for encouraging toddlers to burn down their houses, but no one blames the parents of the toddlers for not censoring what they watch on TV. We blame the media for encouraging our teens and preteens to vomit up their meals, but no one blames the parents for not going through the magazines with their kids, showing where the bodies have been airbrushed to remove the dark circles from the models' eyes and touch up the rib protrusions that are there or tell their little girls that men prefer women who are strong and healthy to those that are frail and weak.

Perhaps I sound a little old fashioned, but what the hell is an 11 year old girl doing with a boyfriend? And, Blondie dear, not to pick on your sis, but how could her parents not notice that she's vomiting up her meals and dropping weight at that rate? Or not realize that she's doing really poorly in school? Isn't anyone asking to see her school papers to hang those great grades on the fridge?

Sounds like this little girl was desperate for attention, thought she found it with a boy, then when it didn't work out (and again, at 11 years old it should not even START, let alone work out) she thought all was lost.

Blondie, again, please don't think I'm picking on your sister, but honestly, what do they expect? How is it that your sister could hear the "death rattle" but didn't hear the regular vomiting each night?

So how do you tell an 11 year old girl that life is worth living? By giving her love, both nurturing AND structuring. By setting boundaries for her that are healthy and treating her for the age that she is. That's 11, not 16. By putting boundaries in place to protect her (i.e. locking up the meds), and showing that you care about her by really taking an interest in what she does and where she goes and who she's with. And unfortunately, that's something that Mom and Dad need to do, not cool Auntie Blondie.

This is really hard for you, I know *hug* Best wishes and prayers out to both you, that little girl, and her family.

December 20, 2001
3:59 pm
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gypsygirl
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I am with gingerleigh

December 20, 2001
4:01 pm
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give her a sense of importance, spend time with her. maybe none of her parents is doing that to her? when a person is loved they dont feel lonely, and they are happy as they are. my 2c.

December 20, 2001
5:55 pm
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Molly
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I am so sorry for the girl, but I too, must co-sign Ginger, what the hell is an 11 year old doing with boys? Over and over again you hear the drama of the immature girl involved looking for love in all the wrong places. Looking for validation in all the wrong ways, hopefully she will get the appropriate help, but I really wonder. It is the luck of the draw damn it, as you well know Blondie what kind of help you get and what the agenda is behind it. this is so very sad.

December 20, 2001
6:50 pm
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Molly
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Blondie, you only know what you know, your sis only knew what she knew, its damn hard. You made the best choices you could at the time or you wouldn't have made them. If you come from a F.U. family and on your own since the age of 11 what the hell do you know? It sure looked easy on tv, that is what we all thought. There is no blame just questions, and you answered them, do not go guilt trippin on us, you know that serves nothing, and perhaps these words you can share with sis, and help her through this. I had no idea until later in life that I was my sisters mother figure, until her issues of abandonment were triggered, we were close and then didn't speak for 4 years. funny, I didn't go to my dad's and she did. After that, didn't speak to my mom for 4 years, go figure, why the girls are taking a break from me, har har har. We are just humans with free will doing the damn best we know how. Be at peace, even if you are manic, make it a worthwile high.

December 20, 2001
7:12 pm
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backpac
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BlondieNYC...And you're still here. I can relate. My shutting down yesterday is my response to the same you're going through. Everyone calls on me. I'm now the mom to my mom and the mom to my children, husband, etc. Friends call me, people in need call me. I am to help them all. When I was younger, it was my place to protect my mother, sister, grandparents, etc. Only lately have I come to realize in my protecting everyone else, I lost sight of me. The visions of my earlier years are coming back to me. I acknowledge abuse from my alcoholic father but there was someone else...someone I was so close to that to this day I have a problem putting his name on paper let alone speaking his name. Fear that if I do, I will not survive. (I know that sounds silly to anyone who has not experienced such) Speaking with someone who was shutting down yesterday but who can relate totally. Thanks for sharing your story and I'll take the time to say a special prayer for your niece as well as all the other little one's in the world who may be experiencing the same we did. Thanks again...

December 20, 2001
8:13 pm
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gingerleigh
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Such strong people here. Women shouldering the weight of their families (and it seems the world), whether they should or not. I'm in awe. Big WOW out to all of you.

December 21, 2001
1:52 am
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gypsygirl
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all the more power to you.

didn't you even save me a bite?

December 21, 2001
12:10 pm
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Molly
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blondie, they may be transfering their thought of ummmmmm Christmas eve, ugh prior suicides, ugh better make sure she is stable, don't wanna get called from the party, know what I mean. You know what to do, your pretty smart, and your pretty stable, so if ya think not showing up is gonna cause them to send the white coats out, and you don't feel like doing that routine, go talk to them and get it behind you, and pick up another pint of icecream.

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