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April 21, 2009
11:30 am
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SpecialK
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I'm hoping some of you will give me your thoughts on this...

20 years ago, a very troubled girl from my high school had a massive crush on me. To give you guys an idea of HOW troubled and HOW massive...she cut the name of the girl she had a crush on before me into her skin. It goes deeper than that, but I don't want to be too specific for fear of anyone recognizing the incident.

I was pressured by some adults in my life to befriend her after that...again, don't want to go into too much detail here. By the time I was about 23 or so, we'd lost touch.

We're now in our mid-30's. She friended me on Facebook about a month ago...I declined, because I felt in my gut it was the best thing to do. She friended me again. I declined again and blocked her. Then I got together with another friend from high school, who mentioned that this woman had friended her and that she was wondering where I was. I said I'd blocked her because of the stuff that happened 20 years ago, and my friend said that she seemed stable now, married to another woman, living on the opposite coast with an OK job.

So that night I got home and unblocked her, feeling guilty. In the middle of the night she friended me and I accepted the next morning.

Well, it's been about a week, and my boyfriend and I are both slightly weirded out by her posts. They're too "close-ish", if that makes any sense.

For instance, I wrote a status comment mentioning that I had heard acupuncture worked well for some hypothyroid women like myself. She posted all over the comments and the wall that she will pray for me, do research on treatments, and that I am not alone.

I have a doctor, I'm taking Synthroid, I work full-time and live a fairly active life, and hello -- I have a partner with whom I've been happily together for a year and a half.

What do you guys think I should do? Any opinions welcome...thanks very much.

April 21, 2009
11:33 am
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I think she is crazy. The fact that she keeps friending you is odd. One decline is usually enough to get rid of people.

April 21, 2009
11:38 am
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SpecialK
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You know, Billy -- normally my boyfriend loves to friend my friends or accept their friend reuests. When he got hers he hesitated and to my knowledge still has not. He is pretty weirded out by her and he's never felt that way about a friend of mine b4, fb or otherwise...

Thanks for your feedback.

April 21, 2009
11:39 am
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Healing.. and peace
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SpecialK,

I'd suggest that you send her a PM on facebook, and let her know your health, your life, and all is wonderful, it's been nice talking to her, and wish her your best. Then block her from your facebook, and try not to even think too much of it, as she may still have problems and believe it or not even a crush on you, in some odd way.

Good luck

April 21, 2009
11:43 am
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It seems like she is obsessed with you. I mean the fact you unblocked her and then she went right in and got you at that moment. I think she is crazy. If I was your bf I wouldn't except her either. She may try and do something odd. I think you should just block her. Facebook has become so much info in so little time. She may start to connect that with a close friendship or more.

April 21, 2009
11:55 am
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atalose
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What first comes to my mind is, she seems extremely codependent------she will do research on treatments for you???? Fixing you no doubt……

You gave her a chance, you don’t owe her a thing……I like healings suggestion that sounds like some good advice.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

April 21, 2009
12:51 pm
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Hey Special K, I havnt had to block anyone from my FB page but I did not accept some people who friended me for various reasons. One because mine is a christian page and this particular guy liked to post racey stuff/cursing/etc...nothing I'm an interested in or want my other friends to think I am. Another past friend because she once gave a guy who was stalking me some info about me (she didnt believe he was a stalker even though he had a record), I noted her as unsafe and dont want to have to be guarded on my own page. Another because I was never more than acquaintences with him and he wasnt someone I wanted knowing my business. Not only that, but someone I sent a friend request to didnt accept it. I dont feel bad about it, I'm sure she has her own reasons for it.

Anyway its part of being healthy, watching out for ones self...letting in the good, keeping out the bad. I felt bad about it at first but am coming to realize and accept that a certain percentage of people are not going to like you and vis versus and that its OK.

April 21, 2009
12:55 pm
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Shaney
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There was someone of FB that I absolutely didn't want to find me. In fact I hesitated joining just because of this person. I did anyway, and have had not problem so far. If that person contacted me I would block her and not feel bad at all.

Delete her, block her, and don't accept her again. And don't feel bad about it! Find out if there is anything in your settings where you can keep her from looking at any of your info. It looks like any info about you is too much. What a freak.

April 21, 2009
1:43 pm
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SpecialK
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Thanks so much everyone for all this feedback.

Healing -- I decided to take your advice. I wrote her a pm saying pretty much what you said, and that I was paring down my friend list. Then I blocked her.

Billy -- it is indeed REALLY wacko that she would jump and send me that request that very night. And that my boyfriend felt weird was a big red flag. He admitted he's never felt this way about any friend or ex or anything of mine -- just this weird feeling, like she's trying to get too "intimate" with me. Obsessed sounds accurate.

Atalose -- I'm laughing because the way she jumped and said the research thing is exactly the way I behaved when my bf had pneumonia ovr Thanksgiving and sinusitis over Christmas, and it IS codependent! So you reminded me of somethng about myself that I can work on. 🙂 As I said, I took healing's advice -- thank u for echoing it.

Fruitloop and Shaney -- I didn't say this in so many words, but it seems as though you both picked up on the whole guilt thing I'm feeling over blocking and whatnot. I blocked my mother on fb when she joined as well as an obsessive ex from college. I have been wondering whether others block as much as me in order to stay safe. Thanks both of you for sharing your experience and validating the choice that I felt in my gut was right.

Thanks again everyone!

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