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Express Your Self With Words / Poem
August 13, 2002
2:12 pm
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MikeBT
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Don't worry I'm not loosing it, I just think any couple out there should feel me on this.. Take it how you will.. I could have used the slap...

Later
Mike

OPEN YOUR EYES

My heart is still broken but the pain isn’t as bad, time has gone by and God decided to hold my hand.

I now can think straight from time to time, realize what I’ve done; I call it too much wine.

Slow down the pace so I can think straight, in my heart I know I wasn’t all that great.

The verbal abuse, the backs being turned, this was never really me I’ve recently learned.

Yet I look at her, like she was one of a kind, but yet again I managed to diss her, like she could only be mine.

Little did I know I would get a wake up call, and that anything and everything could collapse and fall.

If you don’t take care of each other’s feelings, how could you expect a life of happiness?

Sometimes you must stop and think of your partners feelings, remorse and regrets.

Let her know you lover and you’ll be there to help her through it.

Listen to her speak and get things off her chest, she doesn’t always need your opinion, just a place of comfort, a place for her head to rest.

I remember all the days that I wanted to be there, just couldn’t find it in myself to show her how much I really do care.

Finally becoming angry with myself, because of the stupid things I do, telling myself everyday, you’ll snap out of it, just let her be, it will all be cool.

Little did I know that I thought this way for a long time, so how could I expect her to have loving feelings for me except from time to time.

Now I’ve hit bottom and realize who I am, I know that I’m just like her and have the same thoughts, then think DAMM.

All I can do, is show her the real me, I know she’ll be happy, if she could just except my plea.

I’m becoming stronger and stronger and finally getting back on track, recently I realized another thing, I’ve been treating myself very, very whack.

So now we are telling each other everything, I tell it from the heart; even from the brain I have, which is finally is beginning to spark.

The only reason I write this, is to tell every double sole, hold onto what you have and never forget BOTH of your goals.

Sometimes they might begin to slip, that’s why you kiss each other good night and remind each other what they mean to you each and every night.

So take advantage of your other and tell he or she how you feel and always listen to their words because they are so, very real.

If you ignore the situation, it might seem to go away, but take it from me it always going to be there, until both of you are so far off into a sicking daze.

August 14, 2002
1:58 am
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mossrose
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...sad

August 14, 2002
3:12 am
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mossrose
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im in so much pain too..

August 14, 2002
7:24 am
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nattie
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here's a poem of mine.......
It was selected to be in a Poetry book. 🙂 Hope you like it.

sane 'n sober
is how i want to stay,
even as I struggle through,
in search of peace one day.

my heart full of darkness creeps,
into my thoughts and soul,
but i must succeed and win this fight,
for one day i'll be whole.

God keep me safe from harm today,
i can't wait till this of over,
pain, sorrow, grief and struggle,
please keep me sane 'n sober.

August 14, 2002
3:56 pm
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MikeBT
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It is sad. I wrote this poem and I can't stop reading it. I sent it to just about every couple I know. I want everyone to feel me on this because I see so many couples do the same thing to each other. The thing is, I think I'm doing ok, but really I'm driving myself crazy. I was as strong as an ox, but now Ii realized I'm just kidding myself. I talk to her almost everyday and sometimes its about good things and sometimes its bad. But the funny thinbg is, we talk and its good honest conversation. 100% truth and thats what we never had. But now we are getting that back, its breaking my heart even more, because I realize more and more each day how bad I want and need her back. I know I don't want her to come back for the wrong reasons, but why can't she feel the spark everyday, instead of every once in a while. /I wish she would quit trying to hold it back and give in. If we love each other so much and want to be friends, why can't she feel me. I feel like I'm bugging her, but at the same time I feel like I'm giving up if I don't try and be there for her. My brain won't stop and I loosing it again.. Its been almost 1 month and I was doing so good in the last week. Why won't she except my LOVE??? She acts like she wants it one minute, then the next minute she doesn't. If we can sit and talk on the phone all night long for 7 hrs. and feel really good after, why would she keep pushing me away again. Sometimes I think she's just trying to spare my feelings. But then again she said she don't want to lead me on, just incase we never get back together. Then 3 hrs later, she says she wishes I were there to hold her... I am so confused......... I'm freaking again...

August 14, 2002
6:40 pm
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irishlass
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I have been there where she is at...please let me say what I have to say without judging it. I think she may be committment phobic. God, this sounds so much like a relationship I had once. I still think about him, and sometimes wish I knew where he was so I could tell him how much I apprecited him at the time. He so wanted to be my signifigant other. I was dallying and not quite sure. But he kept taking whatever I dished out...I couldn't understand why... he knew how ungrounded and uncertain I was...but that is a hell of a cocktail mixed with independence and confidence. So I went my way...he would have stayed. I wish I could see him again to let him know. He was in my soup but not to a point where it was consuming. He brought out many things in me. My advice: Back off, let her be...for a while...but don't lose touch of where she is...she will come to you.

August 15, 2002
3:29 am
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mossrose
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Mike have you hit her?

August 15, 2002
7:26 am
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MikeBT
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No I have never hit her. We are totally in love, but she says you can be in love, but not spend the rest of your life together. She said her worst fear, is that she will want me back in a few month's, and I'll be with another woman. I can't even think of being with another woman. I'm so scared that she will go out one night and find a rebound, then I could loose and I'll bet money that we will always have the other in the back of our heads. I can't imagine not being with her forever. She has began to indulge herself into so may things, she don't even haved time for herself. She's scaring me because she won't even give herself a chance to think. Deep down inside I think this breakup is going to be the best thing that ever happened to us, because it will make us a very strong couple, but I feel like she is slipping away, I almost feel like fate will handle it, but I also feel like fate can't because it was never suppose to happen this way...

August 15, 2002
2:40 pm
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MikeBT
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Do women tend to feel one way but act another to hide feelings and stay strong? One minute she wants me around, another minute it doesn't even matter. Thats the part that hurts... Should I just take it lightly???

August 22, 2002
12:28 am
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irishlass
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Blondie, I really care about you..but I see you ..having a huge impact on this sight.. You are phenominal (i never said i could spell) when you are on...but when you are off..on this site...you don't deliver. sometimes...You don't do it obviously.. you just offer everyone your e-mail , like in a very subtle way...please start your own web site...don't confuse this site for what it is meant to be..if people want to get together off line ...it shouldn't be an aggenda on this thread be so choose who you are going to respond to at any given time...you can't spread yourself that thin Blond, to so many people..We know you are good , hey but you are not that good at keeping up.and making it your own vessel..through e-mails., subtle e- mails ...secret off-line messages and peopie. poopie...God I was really going to go to New York to see you

August 22, 2002
9:29 am
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dazedalone
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BlondieNYC can I email you @ [email protected], for a tarot reading. I have gotten The Moon for the last 4 days in a row. I liked someone else to do it for me. As you know, The Moon means someone is full of it and I feel this is true.

August 22, 2002
10:05 am
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dazedalone
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I thought the moon was telling me that someone is lying, not being real to me. I should watch my back??

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