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exe's! (UGH)
May 29, 2007
6:36 pm
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thumkin
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I am looking for advice. Has anyone had an ex who threatened to try to take your children from you when you were the primary care giver? Were they successful? How expensive was it? What did it do to the children?

I am so sick and tired of my ex-husband. Any time I do not do something that is convenient for him he wants to act like my girls will be better off just living with him and we wouldnt be having these fights if I would not have left to begin with. I am done with these arguments. NO MORE MS. NICE GUY. the divorce decree states he is responsible for all transportation when an exchange takes place so by golly I am no longer going to meet him half-way, or pick them up or take them to him. BUT, I know when I stop doing this he is going to threaten that they should live with him. I am just scared that he will actually follow through with that threat. I dont have money. He doesnt even pay the recommended amount in child support according to our state guidelines. When I left him I hurt myself financially cuz I just wanted away from him and to still be whole. I know its not right to hate but sometimes he pushes me so close to being over that edge.

May 29, 2007
7:01 pm
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fantas
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Thumkin, If he doesn't follow the court decree stating that he is responsible for all transportation, then he forfeits his chance to see his children. It's not up to you to do it for him. In fact, if he insists on asking for full custody because of this, he will loose credibility with the court. If he cannot afford to pay for their transportation expenses, how can he support them full time. Keep track of all the unpaid child support, if/when he doesn't pay for transportation and meet any of his other obligations. He is just bullying you.

May 30, 2007
9:45 am
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thumkin
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Oh he can afford it, he just doesnt want to. He is a very selfish man. He pays his child support except for twice and the state keeps track of that. He makes much more than I do so financially he would have a very good argument if we were to go back to court over custody which is what scares me so much. I know I dont make as much as him but if they were to live with him they would not be allowed to play sports, they would spend the majority of thier time alone, because he is always out in the fields leaving them alone at the house, he lets them ride the four wheeler where he cannot see them, he lets them ride it without a helmet, he lets them ride it on the road. He tries to make it seem like I am a horrible parent but really he is not so great himself. Not to mention he is mean.

They are going to his house for the next two weeks and my 10 year old is like mom two whole weeks, but he is so mean, does it have to be two whole weeks.

He gets on these dang kicks everytime his current girlfriend leaves him and he is alone right now. I think he thinks rather than lose the girls I would come back to him. I wish he would find antoher damn girlfriend and leave us alone.

May 30, 2007
10:11 am
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loverbee
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I can tell you one thing. I am not old enought to have had children yet, but I was the child who my mother was fighting for. She threatened to run away with us or get custody but the truth of the matter is that in the end, the judge ruled in favor of whoever was better for the children. And in most cases, they want both the parents to be part of the children's lives. But I would hire an attorney if you can afford it if he gives you paper work or something to confirm that this is what he is trying to do. It may just be empty threats though. He has a very little chance if he is not even paying the child support. Any judge would look at that and think, if he can't afford to pay that, how can he afford to have the children full time? good luck though and keep us posted.

May 30, 2007
11:05 am
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atalose
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My ex threatened all the time to take the kids away and for a while I allowed him to push that fear button. He had more money; he could pay an attorney, etc. etc.
One day I just stopped allowing him to push that button and told him that if he felt that strongly about him being the better parent then he should sell that theory to a judge and I would be happy to see him in court. He then of course told me to get a real good lawyer because he was going to do it. He then said too bad you don’t have the money to pay for one your going to lose and I will take the kids away. I shot back with “my divorce attorney told me that you were such a jerk and she’s never come across anyone as controlling as you that she and her firm agreed to represent me with any further nonsense you bring about and they will never charge me, so have your attorney contact mine and we’ll proceed”.
Button became disabled!!!!!!

Don’t let him bully you, tell him you found a non profit woman’s legal help service that will help you if that’s how he’s wants to proceed.

It might not hurt for you to look in your area for just that a service that helps woman like you and me who really don’t have the money for the continued nonsense our ex’s bring about. But the truth is it’s just words never actions that they use to manipulate and control us to their advantage. If you ex knows he can do this to you and get you all upset of course he’s going to continue because he sees it working.

You need to disable your button so it no longer works when he pushes it.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

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