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ex
June 17, 2007
12:19 pm
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angelwings2
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i had a relationship end over 10 months ago and i feel a great saddness as he will not even speak with me i have tried to phone and in passing wave nothing he always told me we would be friends no matter what. what happened i am still not sure what happened all he said was that he felt we were more like sister and brother and that he still loved his ex i am confused as the day before we broke up he was kissing me etc his doctor put him on methadon because he had a bad back they put him on this terrible drug he changed they say you do not change and beg to differ he changed completly. why can,t i let go angelwings2

June 17, 2007
12:51 pm
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Rasputin
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Hey there!

May be he's still confused, indecisive or he is on the robound. Either way, give him sometime to reflect and think it over, esp. since he was honest to you about his feelings toward you as sister and brother and that he hadn't got over his feelings to his ex/or still loved her. Thank God he was decent enough to be honest with you!

Give him sometime to decide and keep your heart protected, so that if he does not contact you or his feelings don't change, you're not disappointed.

Blessings!

June 17, 2007
1:42 pm
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StronginHim77
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This one has really gotten me thinking: if he said he felt as if you were like "brother and sister," then why won't he take your calls or return the wave when you pass on the street? Would real brothers and sisters treat one another that way? So, obviously, he was not telling you the truth.

Here's my other concern:

You write, "...I had a relationship end over 10 months ago." Well, did it end, or didn't it? If it ended, then it's OVER. But it sounds as if you haven't accepted that fact. Perhaps, HE dumped YOU, rather than vice versa. That sure would make it alot harder to accept. But you are going to continue to suffer, until you accept that -- in his mind, at least -- it is OVER.

I do hope this man did not take your virginity, then dump you. That would be even worse. That is flat out betrayal and very painful for any woman to accept. If that is what happened, then he has used you, shamefully.

In any event, he took the best you had to offer, the very essence of you, then tired of you (for whatever reason) and moved on. I don't know how old you are, but I don't think there is any age limit on people doing this to their partners. It is really, really common for young women (under 30), however. The younger the couple, the more common this circumstance. Young guys are looking for "conquests," more than commitment. I realize this is a generalization and not everyone fits the "mold," but I have seen an awful lot of this.

You need to accept what has happened. He left you...for whatever reason. He wants no further contact with you. It is time to grieve the loss and move on. I know it seems improbable to you right now (because the pain is still raw), but you WILL love again and -- more importantly -- you will be loved back by a man who is capable of commitment and faithfulness.

- Ma Strong

June 17, 2007
3:24 pm
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fantas
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Angel, I heard on Oprah that every rejection is a new direction. I have learned the hard way to let go of people who choose to exit my life. Regardless of what his reasons are for leaving you, the truth is he did. Of course you are heartbroken and you want answers which is normal for anyone going through a break up. Do you really want to even talk to him after the way he has treated you? Do you think that any reason he gives you for breaking up with you will be enough? I think his method for breaking up with you was despicable and heartless which is all the more reason why you should let him go. Who knows what other heartless thing he will do to you in the future. It may not feel like it now but you may have been spared a lifetime of heartache. Get yourself a support group, close friends, family members to help you get through this. Have you considered therapy? I'd recommend that you read the book "codependent no more". Hang in there, this shall pass. Keep posting and reading these threads, people here understand what you are going through.

June 17, 2007
4:04 pm
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angelwings2
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thank you all for your comments i will take a little from all angelwings2

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