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Ex Problem
January 14, 2003
10:50 am
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Anonymous
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My 9yr old son came home from a visit with his father last night. He was upset because his father is cheating on his current wife with his third wife and told him not to tell anybody who they were with. Yes he took him along!!! Much anger here. I explained to him that he was not the one in the wrong that his father is. I also promised not to tell anyone involved about it because he doesn't want his father to be angry with him for telling me. What do I do? He didn't want to go to school today because he had an upset stomach.

January 14, 2003
11:11 am
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what you need to do is confront your ex about this and how it's affecting your son?
What he's doing with his social life he knows is wrong and even a 9 year old can see that but should not have to deal with a secret as awful has that!
Let him know your son is sick to his stomach over this and what should you do about it?
I hate this man and don't even know him!

January 14, 2003
11:19 am
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That's what I wanted to do right away but my son is terrified of what would happen if I do. My husband also wants me to stay out of it because this man is very unpredictable. I'm not sure what to do. I always seem to get pulled into other peoples problems and then I get accused of being the problem. Thanks for the advice.

January 14, 2003
11:28 am
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he has asked your son not to say anything to anyone meaning so it wouldn't get back to his wife, but he can't expect your child not to tell you and your not going to say anything to anyone but him.

This is your business because it's you who has to watch how it's affecting your son.

January 14, 2003
11:51 am
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OMG Nattie~

I speak from experience, my ex plays mind games with my kids all the time.

You need to think of what is best for your children. Make sure your son knows that his father is wrong and that your son should feel no guilt. I'm very happy for your son that he has a mother like you that he know he can talk to.

I'd talk to counselors, atty's, find out what your options are. You can say something to your ex but then he may take it out on your son. Do what you have to thru the courts or with counselors. Take away visitation if you think it's effecting your son enough.

I know it's hard......you have to, you cannot control what your ex does. Do what you can, be there for your son, he needs you.

Be well.

January 14, 2003
12:07 pm
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that's excellent advice tracylyn.

January 19, 2003
2:23 pm
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i kepp seing my ex even though he is supposed to be in England but my man keeps telling me to ignore it what do yu all think

January 23, 2003
9:11 pm
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well......maybe the reason he broke up with you wasnt because he was going to england, maybe he jsut didnt want to date you ne more and he didnt want to hurt your feelings, sorry to say that but thats jsut my opinion...
so i dont know what else to say except i tihnk he jsut didnt want to hurt you.........

January 23, 2003
10:44 pm
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He could simply have changed his mind as well about the move after you broke up. You are with someone new now. Seems best to leave the past in the past, whether he is living in England or wherever you are now. No?

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