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Ex just called & wished me a late Merry christmas & happy new year
December 31, 2005
11:01 pm
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Lostrose
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A little about my ex. We have been split since Thanksgiving, but have talked/texted a few times a week. He is a drug addict & has told me he's been clean since Thanksgiving. He has been staying with his parents about 6 or 7 hours away. On Christmas he never called me to wish me a Merry Christmas & it hurt. That's when I realized it was over in the sense to where I needed to move on & give up hope of us getting back together.

Now a few minutes ago he called and wished me Merry holidays. He said he just got back to town (his parent's) & got his phone back & that's why he didn't call on Christmas. He wished me a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year & said he would call later when he had more time, he was playing basketball & he told me to take care. He said he has gained weight. Also, by the sound of his voice he's doing excellent. He sounds like the guy I fell in love with.

Part of me doesn't know how to handle this. Mainly because I've decided to move on & take care of myself & the other half still loves him. Ever since I met him I knew he was the one my lifetime partner I'd been looking for all my life. However, the drugs got in the way & my codependence. Right now my gut instinct is telling me to not give up hope, but I'm afraid to start hoping again & then nothing happens.

What would you guys do if you were in my shoes?

Also, this site has been a life saver for me. I've been able to open up & not be judged & have other people understand what I'm going through. For this I thank all of you that have helped & have a Happy New Year.

December 31, 2005
11:27 pm
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Rasputin
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(((LostRose))))

"Right now my gut instinct is telling me to not give up hope, but I'm afraid to start hoping again & then nothing happens."

This is AWESOME!!! IMO, you are doing just the right thing. Never give up hope, however, I also believe you should detach so that you avoid becoming codep and let him sort out and do whatever self-help he needs, such as going to AA, or 12 steps or coda meetings etc.

Happy New Year!

(((Hugs)))

December 31, 2005
11:43 pm
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Lostrose
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Thanks 🙂 I know as a codependent we worry alot & I'm concerned that he hasn't said love you in his texts or phone calls since the first part of December. And I know he loves me, but which part of him, the drug addict or the sober one? Questions, Questions, Questions, lol.....

December 31, 2005
11:47 pm
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bonita1
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So there were no other phones, pay phones, friend's phones, calling cards, his parents' phone, he coulda used??? weak, weak, weak excuse...

You said, "Mainly because I've decided to move on & take care of myself & the other half still loves him." In my opinion, the moving on and taking care of yourself is an excellent idea and one to hang onto in the coming New Year. Do Not Let Him Become the be all and end all of your existence.

Take care of yourself, love yourself, develop yourself into the kind of woman/human being you would be proud to know.

Develop your life into a life that is full and happy without him. Then, if he happens to come back into your life later on he will only add to your life, not take anything away.

If he does NOT come back into your life in the future, you will not be devastated by his absence. Your life will continue in a happy and healthy way because your life does not revolve around him. Be passionate about something else besides him.

Wishing you much joy in the coming New Year...

~~bonita

PS He sounds good, healthy and happy? Sounds like he is taking care of himself. You do the same thing, ok??

December 31, 2005
11:59 pm
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Lostrose
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Bonita, This may sound as an excuse but I know that if he didn't have his phone with him then he didn't have my number. He had my home number, but I disconnected it a few weeks ago & he knew I was doing that.

(Do Not Let Him Become the be all and end all of your existence), You're right & that is what I will do. Yes, I will take care of myself & not get lost in him. Thanks

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