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ex-boyfriend
April 26, 2001
3:10 pm
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meldee
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I went out with this guy for about a year and i really loved him. then he broke up with me so he could have a chance at being with a long time friend that he constantly reasured me he didn't have feelings for. I went through a big depression durring this time, so after a couple of months when he asked me out again (under the pretenses that after having a chance to be with her he realized that it was me he loved) I took him back. After we got back together he continued to keep talking to this other girl all the time on the phone and after a year i couldn't stand it anymore so i broke up with him. Its been about 4 months now and I have been really content and happy on my own but now he is trying everything to get me back. At first this invetation was very inviting but again, he still talks to her like twice a week on the phone and it makes me feel like [email protected] STILL. He says they are just friends but I just don't believe it. what should i do? part of me whants to give him a chance and the other part is just so tired of being upset over the same thing. help, please. I know it may sound a little complicated but I am truly confused and could use some good advise. thank you.

April 26, 2001
8:23 pm
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Kimberly Anne
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I would dump him and find someone who has respect for your feelings.

Blessings to you:)
KA

April 27, 2001
7:30 am
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janes
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Listen to KA. If you have happy and content it must drive him nuts. Some people really like the control issue and you stopped letting him control you.

Now you have found you DON"T need him like he thought and it might be a real challenge for him to try and "get you back".

What happened before will happen again.

Don't give him ANOTHER chance. You did that once and he didn't change did he?

You are better off waiting for a man who will cherish you and not look at you as a challenge to control while he does what he wants.

STAY AWAY.

April 27, 2001
11:46 am
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Molly
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Just how many fish out in that sea are there? Surely you know that you are young, and that dating is for mate selection, this is the dance you want for the rest of your life. Where is the foundation for trust. Like you think you will trust him, oh,please. it will be the same over and over and just get worse, some of these threads have women with 2,3,4 children, some not married, some with out families, and their mr wonderful who gave them all the clues in the world that they were irresponsible, immature, unfaithful, yada yada yada, yet they wanted to give him one more chance, and now look where they are. Run, don't answer the phone, and don't give him the time fo day, he had his chance and blew it, there are 1200 girls just waiting for his abuse, let the unaware ones get to learn their lessons.

April 27, 2001
12:01 pm
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meldee
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thank you for your advise. I have decided that you are right. giving him another chance isn't the right thing to do. even if that didn't happen again he still didn't respect my feelings enough to atleast talk to me about the hurt i was going through. I was in a very physically and mentally abusive relationship a few years back (before him)so I am always scared that I am letting someone get away with more then they should, my boundaries are a little off. I know its time to stop the trend and not let this one continue to hurt me. thank you

April 27, 2001
5:27 pm
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Molly
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Sweetie, take some time off from men, and relationships. Learn about you, what you want, where your boundries are, and the only way to do that is with out a man under your feet. We go into automatic so quick, and loose a sense of who we are and what we want. Get out there and love your self, make some girl friends for a while, loose the concept of the knight on white horse, at least for as long as you can.

April 28, 2001
6:50 am
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janes
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Good for you. It is soooo nice to hear a young vibrant woman say she needs to break the trend that brought her pain.

There are many good books you could browse through in a bookstore ... about self esteem, relationships and so forth.

You go girl...make YOUR LIFE what YOU want it to be!!!

April 28, 2001
7:40 pm
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pg lova
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Get rid of him for good! I am a guy and I understand us quite well. He is just trying to use you to fall back on because theis "friend" won't take him. Don't be a fool and keep falling for his lies. Once a liar, always a liar. He won't change.

April 30, 2001
12:42 am
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gingerleigh
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Meldee honey, what everyone says here is right on. If you take him back, you will never be able to trust him, and that lack of trust will always eat away at you in some corner of your heart, no matter how much you try to push it down.

Start fresh with a clean slate. Start with you, as Molly suggests. Being completely free without a man underfoot is so important.

The knight on the white horse does not exist. (I hate that part.) But here's the good news... when you grow into your full potential, and you are ready to share yourself with someone again, a worthy suitor will present himself.

Peace.

April 30, 2001
3:01 pm
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talk
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I have a ex-boyfriend and I loved him so much. But he just does not know how to treat a lady

April 30, 2001
3:08 pm
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Molly
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Well, talk, that is why he is an ex. Good for you. There are a ton of fish in the sea, and no rush to find one. Live, and love your self.

May 2, 2001
2:41 pm
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talk
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Thanks, Molly. I think that I will move on.

May 8, 2001
8:05 pm
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charlotte y. moody
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