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everythings wrong:(
March 20, 2001
7:20 pm
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lazydazy
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career: just graduated, i think im self-destructing myself...wondering why anyone would ever want to hire me. Im looking for a job and feel hopeless. I dont know if I want to stay here and live with my family but i dont have the money to move and part of me likes the security...

family: there is so much tension at home, everyone is depressed. My father is spending more time at home than he used to when I was younger and this bothers me. I know he used to do drugs, he might have cheated on my mom and he's crazy. He is very depressed and irritable all the time. My mom is co-dependant, my sister is angry and depressed. she has colitis, is still in highschool and has a hard time getting herself to school.

Love: my boyfriend of a few years is in a different state. He loves me and is the greatest guy ever. I think he is depressed. We both have a hard time expressing our feelings. I'm about 500 miles a way and going through a period where I want to know for sure if I love him. I feel like im going through a mid-life crisis at the age of 23. One day I feel like I want to get married and have kids in the next few years, the next minute I want to go out to bars and make out with a bunch of guys? I dont want to loose him and dont know what he'd do if I broke up with him. I've been hanging out with this guy here alot. Things with us aren't as heavy as they are with my boyfriend. We are always having fun together. We never talk about the crazy emotional stuff that has happened in our past. Its fun and its making me happy lately, we just click. I think Im starting to like him. We ended up messing around one night. I think I did it cause it made me feel the slightest bit confident again.

I went to the counselor for the first time in ages yesterday. I did feel better when I left. Today I feel crappy again. I feel guilty for messing around with that guy. I dont want to talk to anyone in my house and I wish someone would hire me without an interview. grrr....

March 20, 2001
10:34 pm
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lost soul
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September 24, 2010
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Hi

I think you are too young to have this depress feelings. I guessed it must be something to do with your family. Your childhood, your family & your up-bringing.

Life is a long journey.......... you have to be positive at all times to be able to complete the whole journey.There will be many ups & downs in life, you have to face it, fight it, accept it & take it easy in order to keep going.

My life has been so screw up since young, if not for my positive attitude ( at times )I won't be living today. So, look further..... hope my words help 🙂

March 21, 2001
11:48 am
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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Welcome to real life. Sorry, I hate that old sell your self stuff, just give me the job, but it doesn't work like that, and it is so competitive with no loyalty out there. The family stuff, well just try to protect your self while saving money, or join the peace corps and see the world. 🙂 However, the best way to mess up your life right now is the LOVE GAME, looking for love in all the wrong places, including drugs and alcohol, and men. We women must realize that there ain't no prince on a white horse to rescue us. We must be focused, we must have a career, or create financial independence, we must protect our selves emotionally and physcially, and cannot comprise our character. Make a plan, make some goals, create some dreams, and make them reality, but stay out of bars, and keep your knees together, life will be so much easier with out the complications of misdirected intentions.

March 23, 2001
11:03 am
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lazydazy
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Molly, love the reply-ecspecially the part about keeping your knees together:) I have just found out alot through counseling...I am a victim of emotional abuse through my family members. The thing I do not understand is if the whole idea behind abuse is power, what kind of power do parents get over their own children? Im going to post another thread...

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