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enough_already
September 22, 2009
6:57 pm
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andii
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How are you?

September 22, 2009
9:31 pm
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marypoppins
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Yes, I second that. If you've been reading here for a while, you know that there are people you can trust here and people it's best to avoid. Some just aren't as healthy as others. And some you just don't click with.

As you wrote, one only has to read to see it. It's hard to have compassion for someone when you're being attacked by them. I think some here may just go along fearing the wrath, but who knows? Really, who cares? One never "wins" with someone in denial.

Hope you continue to post, if that's what you want to do.

Mary

September 22, 2009
10:29 pm
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andii
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That was a really cool post.

The Coffeehouse thread, nobody gets nasty there. There is imagination, creativity, humor, camaraderie. Check it out.

I hope you are having a good day! Mine has been a bit frustrating as there is so much I need to do and just not enough time. So I finally just said "stop" to myself. Otherwise I'd be going until the wee hours of the morning, and really- there isn't anything that MUST be done right now.

September 22, 2009
10:56 pm
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marypoppins
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Hi Andi,

I might check out the Coffeehouse thread. Glad you made a healthy choice for yourself. All the best to you!

Mary

September 23, 2009
5:32 pm
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Shonda
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(((enough_already))), (((Andi and Marypoppins)))

September 23, 2009
7:21 pm
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marypoppins
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thanks, Shonda

be well

September 23, 2009
7:38 pm
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marypoppins
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I just want to say that the conflicts I've had here have taught me a lot about my mom and how not to be beaten down by the hostility and pain of another person.

September 23, 2009
8:16 pm
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marypoppins
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And, as far as different nicknames or people misrepresenting themselves somehow, there is no way to find out the truth. Only WE know who we are and what our real lives are like. My mother used to try to tell me who I was, what I was thinking, what my motives were - all her guilty, angry, self-loathing bullshit she tried to foist on me. As a child, how could I stand up to that? Meanwhile, my dad took out his anger and frustration on me in the form of physical abuse.

Setting firm boundaries with them and strictly limiting contact with them has done me a world of good. I know who I am, and not only do I love myself, I like myself. What a difference self love and acceptance makes.

This site provides opportunities for growth of all kinds. Sometimes the path isn't direct. Sometimes I get caught up in the games I grew up with, with players here who grew up with the same games.

But having it written down and anonymous, with people who are at some level trying to heal, makes it all more manageable and instructive, in my opinion.

And, there are certainly some very cool people here.

Mary

September 23, 2009
8:44 pm
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marypoppins
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...self love and acceptance make.

September 23, 2009
8:52 pm
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andii
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back at ya on the hugs Shonda!

Yes, there certainly ARE some really cool people here mary. I'd say MOST from what I've seen.

The problem I see with accusing someone of using different nicks is that if a mistake is made, then it's as if the words typed in a post that were felt and represented feelings, are dismissed. (other than the fact of quite frankly, is it really all that important? I don't know, that's another topic I guess)

Well your thoughts and feelings and words enough_already and needingtoheal, have not been dismissed and I just want you to know that.

Angry and hostile words from one person are rough enough to endure, the pack and mob mentality thing, when that takes over, can be overwhelming. I say when that happens, best to just back away softly and as people join the mob and post their sarcastic and nasty two cents, look at it and say (if you're the target)

"oh! look! there's another country heard from! Put that one on the map!"

And from then on out, just shy away from those countries. Take those puppies off the tourist brochure.

Just trying to put a light spin on it all.

Hoping all is well with everybody.

andii

September 23, 2009
8:53 pm
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andii
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marypoppins, I'm really sorry you went through all of that as a child. What a survivor you are, to be able to handle it all the way you do now.

Kudos.

September 23, 2009
8:59 pm
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marypoppins
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Thanks, Andi. We've all been through something to get here. I'm sorry for what happened to you, too. Take care!

Mary

September 23, 2009
9:18 pm
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Shonda
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Marypoppins, thank you so much for your last post.

"My mother used to try to tell me who I was, what I was thinking, what my motives were - all her guilty, angry, self-loathing bullshit she tried to foist on me."

I grew up like that, too. I have thought that my mother was a narcissist, but I don't know. I read this today, and thought about her, but it made me think that I am this way, too. It goes something like this- when energy/emotion/feeling is sent or given to someone who doesn't understand it, they'll usually use it in a way that reinforces their current views and beliefs. Yes, and this is why there are so many interpretations to different beliefs.

You know, for a long time, I never saw bad in people. I came to understand that this was because I judged people from my base- as a good, although naive, person. I assumed everyone was like me. Have you ever noticed how manipulative people always assume you are doing the same as they are? How those with sin are always the first to cast the stones?

It's still hard for me to be around people that are judgmental, or project what is within then on me. When someone makes an assumption about me, I get angry, and thanks to your post, I know why. Thank you so much.

September 28, 2009
10:52 am
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Anonymous
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hello Andi, Marypoppins, Shonda...still here. Still reading. May post more later. Thank you all for your support. 🙂

September 29, 2009
5:16 pm
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andii
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hello enough_already!

I'm home today battling some kind of bug that probably flew through the ventilation system at work. Or, maybe it's just that time of year. Lying on the couch watching country music videos. Ah, that George Straight. He is just something else. And Lady Antebellum (I run to you)- hey I wonder how they came up with that name, it's rather odd. But catchy that's for sure. Keith Urban- Only you can love me this way: mine and my sweetheart's song. awe, warms my heart, it just came on!

Hope all is well with you today 🙂

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