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emotional abuse
March 29, 2001
5:24 pm
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Molly
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Freedom, is just sometimes so highly overrated! That damn choice thing. So I made a choice,its such a struggle, to go from the comfort zone, where you work from the intuitive, with a splash of training, getting feedback, by just a smile, seeing familiar faces,knowing the people you interact with, and the players, one side gives, one side takes, and gives with out knowing it.To relearnig facts and factors, new electronical devices, all of this competition, paranoid people who think they are ok, but wear masks, definately not tribe members! There is just so much ISOLATION it sucks. So, all that I have been doing is hugging my self and miss the hugs from others. Like I said all this effort, and no immediate gratification, it will come,I am sure, its just not friggin easy, damn it. I think I will go get a fix tommorow, and stop by the clinic, to fill up on recognition, and cudos,remind my self why I quit, to build up my self esteem for the open houses I will have this weekend, does any one remember why I made this choice any how??? Just kidding, connected finaly with a women's network group that I used to belong to, they said I could market both hats, and since I am pretty settled in this real estate thing, now maybe I can set up private practice ??? Money and time will dictate, like always. Thank God that the hubby has been the most remarkable husband since I did quit the clinic, which makes me wonder if he was jelous of my clients or the connection with the staff, could be the hours that caused the problem who knows, but since I quit, he has been happier than a pig in mud,go figure. So, I painted my toes bright red, and turned my one eyebrow into two again, did some yoga,so I am ready to go make my cold calls, get rejected enough to make room for the acceptance, then I get my wine, or whine, no I,ll do the wine. Love to you all, suppose our tribe colors should be purple????

March 29, 2001
6:02 pm
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Alena
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Real Estate, is that it Molly?
I think I remember long ago when I first joined this group, you were on the fence about which way to go.

Ugh......can't that occupation get quite ...uh,.......competitive? Is that the right adjective? Maybe....dog eat dog? It would be SOOO hard to keep it real when you're up against so many "unreal" people.

Heres a hug......mmmppphhhhh....now go make some calls and remember we like you a whole lot.

March 29, 2001
6:45 pm
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Ladeska
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Alena...Molly.....you're just too frickin cute, the both of you! ROCK ON!!! I just got informed....that we are having a layoff and I get some "new" responsibilities from the people that got layed off. Lucky me, huh? Hey, at least I gotta job....but now, I'm looking up at the mountain and going.....oh no.....ANYWAYS...I'll rock and roll! You know, it feels good to be "real" doesn't it? I remember for so many years I totally cared about what people thought, what they whispered, blah, blah, blah. God, what a headache. We are all quite beautimous in our own whacked out little way! Even if my two cats and my daughter are the only ones that vote yes on that - it's fine by me because maybe they are the only ones who Count!!! I'm thinking very seriously about teepeeing a yard this weekend. Just want you to know that.....got an itch. (i'll probably end up in jail somewhere....)

March 29, 2001
10:43 pm
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janes
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Hey.....when I get that dark cloud feeling and I am turning int a REAL bitch instead of just the normal one I usually am.........then I start my period and go "oh yeah" duh...only been doing this 35 years you'd think I could get with the progrma here.

I like old girls.....it's fun not giving a shit....like...I gotta a job to do so get out of my way if youre gonna be ignorant (and I have TWO ignorant school principals right now) Do have one great one...

We do a monthly award for good teaching among ourselves..."golden apple" ...so things got weird and the witchie wing decided "they don't want to play anymore" so they took the g.A. and went home...

So I initiated a new award...the G.B. that stands for "Gutsy Bitch" to stand up for what's good for kids and screw the politics.....I even donated the marble apple as the award. (whipped at an ignorant person head could cause.. maybe a wake up.

When I am old I shall wear purple - ever read THAT poem...

Mollly ...come out and play with me.. and bring your dollies three
climb up my apple tree
Play in your rain barrel
Slide down my cellar door
and we'll be jolly friends
forevermore.

okay..all together now...

**************************************

anyway....lazydazy...even tho' we have wandered afar.....are you okay?

Are you learing anything and growing?

Can you find the interior strength to get done what you need to so you can move on?

It is a hard road but...you do sound bright and capable and smart.

It is tough to hang out and feel like you are waiting for life to begin.

Trust an old lady...live now. even if the situation is not the one you choose to keep make the best, find a counselor maybe and try to get the abusive stuff to stop.

We are rooting for you even tho we got silly.

March 30, 2001
3:37 pm
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Ladeska
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lazyday and anyone that's struggling with abuse in any form and wants to understand things better....here's a great website for you - http://drirene.com/1_nar.htm

March 30, 2001
8:04 pm
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Molly
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so,went to the clinic got my I miss you's come back to work, and geee for a brief second it looked good, and perhaps one of these days it could look damn great, but there is a cost for everything right, and If I have to deal with the wannabe's instead of getting up at 3:30 am, I'll go make my calls to make my money to fund my dreams, unless you all want to go in on a lotto????????????????? Have a great weekend, holding open houses, sat and sun, keep your fingers crossed.

April 2, 2001
12:53 am
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Anonymous
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I think out of all the pain and suffering I ever endured, the emotional abuse was the worst. Today as a mother, I must constantly be on guard to not reproduce the cycle, and its not really that difficult, I tell her I love her everyday and I respect her as a individual and I keep myself accountable and say I am sorry when I had wronged her-that is not alot to expect from a mother, is it? I must learn to do what I have not experienced, and yes its not easy, but abuse is wrong, it is evil to say the least.

My take on it, Ladeska, what can I say? Thank GOD for a Angel like you!

April 2, 2001
9:05 pm
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pg lova
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Lazydazy,

I know it must hurt badly. My heart goes out to you. From one victim to another, it's gonna be all right. I was emotionally abused, not by my parents but my classmates all throughout school and by other adults. Listen to me just as God stood by my side, He'll stand by yours. Like Jesus told Peter "Let not your heart be troubled, you believe in God! Believe also in me . . ." I know your spot is tough right now, but I am a living witness that you shall survive and that a better day is coming. So just hold your head up, things are gonna get a whole lot easier. Before I go, there is a song that my college professor taught the class that says "Didn't my Lord deliver Daniel? Then why not every man?" Meditate on that. It'll be all right. God bless u

PG Lova

PS If you need to talk feel free to e-mail me at [email protected]

April 3, 2001
11:12 pm
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janes
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HeLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO

I was scolded at work today.
(but it was by one of the ignoramuses..
so ... I went back to my office, wrote notes about the "Mel can I see you" meeting and memoed her.)

GET OUT OF MY WAY I AM TRYING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN RETIRE SOON...but who will train the young teachers to be brave?

I'll stay and try to remember not to be codependent. And take the advice of my long distance counselor..

and tr to be a good mom but not to good so my kids are too dependent. And try not to be angry when my ADD/ADHD husband doesn't make the payments (again) and when my stroke victim mom is anoying....

I am drinking to much. gotta stop.

life can be so good and so shitty.

Lazydazy....(and all)

Sorry....

the sunrise this am was great. Kids at school were great too. I have had a good day.

Sorry to vent.

love ya. thanks

mel

April 4, 2001
6:06 pm
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Molly
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At least your stuck with what my sis labels as SSDD, same s*** different day, and damn it you have a retirement to look forward to. Good teachers, hmmmm in California its looking like the last way to earn a living, hmm burger king or be a teacher? Unfortunately they will pick teaching because they get summer off. Do what you can do Janes, and take cover. My ever so independent youngest daughter, gave me 15 minuets of her spring break, but she did call and stop by. Where is the happy middle? What ever, be careful don't blow the retirement, but give them hell!!!!

April 4, 2001
9:19 pm
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janes
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That's the GOOD thing about tenure.

It really doesn't protect bad teachers if the administration does their homework...It does protect good teachers from stupid people sorta.

The point it....KIDS. And if they are learning...we are good. if they aren't...then there's trouble

Fortunatley bad adminstrators can make our professional lives hell but bottom lone we have the kids and each other.

I'll keep doing what I ahve to and see kdis as much as possible.

Take care...thanks for the attagirl.

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