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Emotional abuse?
December 2, 2012
4:43 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
December 1, 2012
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I have been with my man for six years.  Today is my birthday....I'm 32.  To say that this is the worst birthday ever would be an understatement... And suprisingly I always find my self blaming me.  If only I didn't look sad, or say this, or say that.  It's always something and always falls back to me.  


I have so much to say, so much to ask advice on.  And I guess I just want some one to tell me It isn't my fault... Or that I deserve better?  Let's start by saying that my boyfriend has gone from being so loving, and supportive, cuddling me, telling me I'm everything.  To saying he isn't sure, and that he is happier away from me... That he can't be himself around me, that because I'm so tame..l and quiet he feels he can't be himself because I'm so sensitive.  There has been so many hurtful things said..l not all at once, but over time... More so then late... And then the next day he can be totally loving again.   He says that he wants a woman who is confident, and secure.  Who trusts in him.  Wants someone he can be proud of...  


So tell me this, how is that possible when he says these things?  I can be perfectly happy, trying to joke around, cuddle kiss or whatever.l. And he can switch to being sad and say he is thinking... And that it's about us... That its not bad... But not good either...  Nice... I feel like I can't get my confidence when he keeps doing this... But then he says that it's because of me.. And saying I needed time to heal and to trust he won't leave me again...


This was due to him blurting out in a fight that he didn't want my son... See I have a nine year old boy who is not his... And yes u can say I'm a horrible person.. But when him and my son are together, he seems to enjoy himself.. 


I know this is all over the map and I can give so many more examples... Today is my birthday... He did not get me any thing.  He says he can't afford to... But he went out drinking Friday with ppl from work... And went to the mall and bought a shirt... I usually don't.care that he gets me anything... But the fact that I feel as if I am not worth anything...  That I'm last...  And it hurts..


Friday night he didn't want me to go to the bar with him.he kept saying it was a work function...l but it wasn't... He said that I could come later... That ay everyone will be drunk and won't notice... And u can pretend to be some random girl from the bar...am I wrong to get upset?  Hie says I took him the wrong way and totally not what he meant... He meant that we could role play... Something we have never done or talked about doing....?????  Then it changed to wanting to avoid feeling awkward.. Then it was I do t want u to come... I want to go have fun nd not have to worry about u..  Friday night,... Of my birthday weekend... I sat alone at home....  I'm heartbroken... And yet I still feel I fucked up somehow.  Like I shouldn't be upset right now...


I should be thankful he took me to breakfast... The day before my birthday. Even though I said we could cook at home... Or that he took me to a movie that he picked.... He said that he is thinking... And is sad... After six years it shouldn't be this.  

December 4, 2012
11:32 am
Forum Posts: 65
Member Since:
December 20, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Are you sure he’s right for you and your son. Your son
should be the priority in your life. I can only tell you what I feel is normal
in a relationship as yours. If I was interested in a woman who had a child from
a previous relationship I would have to accept that the child would come first
in our lives even over the women I am interested in. It is what any child in
such a relationship deserves. You want a man who steps up to that challenge. I
don’t know what to tell you in respect to the lack of attention you are
receiving it is something you will have to determine whether you deserve
better. I think you do. After six years in a relationship with him has there
been any talk of what the future brings for both of you? You may have reached
the point where this needs to be decided. You will need to sit down with him
and talk this out. Clarify what you intentions are and listen to what he has to
say. It’s all about communication. A lot of relationships don’t last because of
the inability to communicate with each other or trust one another.

Hope this helps

January 4, 2013
12:43 am
Forum Posts: 572
Member Since:
February 9, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline



Doplar is definitely right, if that man truly loves you he should accept you no matter what even if you already have a son before you met him. The fact that your relationship lasted that long means you both really have something. Even though 6 years already passed, it's normal for partners to go wrong sometimes and that's what you called trials. When you're having trials in your relationship, communication is indeed the top key to figure things out. The best thing you should do right now is to talk to him personally and discuss things rationally. Tell him your side and listen to what he might say as well. It's just a matter of give and take. Also, if you want a professional help you can always consult a relationship counselor.

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