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eat, sleep, breathe
July 20, 2005
11:43 pm
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22haha
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Anyone ever feel like all you do is eat, sleep, breathe someone else?? My ex is consuming most of my thoughts (as usual). Except before it was... who is he sleeping with? And now it is.. is he thinking of me? I try and think in the present but somehow he always comes back to my mind. Then, like tonight, I try and do something for myself - so I go to get my nails done. Well, of course the lady working on me is Chinese so we can't talk and then all I do is sit there and think about the past. It's horrible and obscessive. How do you stop???

July 21, 2005
12:11 am
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Just Lost
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stay busy. which seems so difficult to do when we feel like this. i've been obsessing about my stbx for the last hour

July 21, 2005
8:44 am
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kc30
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Every time your mind wanders to him....force it to come back to YOU...what are you feeling (sad, lonely, angry, rejected etc) and what do you need (to talk, to sleep, to eat, to socialize, to cry)

I've learned that obsessing over another person really has NOTHING to do with that person...I told myself it was because I loved him soooo much, but that was the big lie...it was never about him. He just provided a HUGE distraction so that I didn't have to think about myself, the state of my life, who I was, what I wanted...

I always ask "what is this really about?" It's never about the other person. It's always about you.

Takes a long time to learn to do this (still learning)

I had a sponsor tell me once that she would counter these thoughts by chanting over and over what she was actually doing

"I'm washing the dishes, I'm washing the dishes, I'm washing the dishes" or she would just keep saying the Serenity Prayer over and over until she could break through the "stinking thinking".

Staying present...living RIGHT NOW - focusing on WHAT IS HAPPENING in your own life RIGHT NOW is the best cure. It just takes a lot of practice 🙂

kc

July 21, 2005
8:55 am
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bayoubabe
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KC,
I know what you mean about the other person being a "distraction." I focous my attention on him so I don't have to think about myself.

July 21, 2005
7:55 pm
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22haha
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Kc, thanks that makes a lot of sence. I probably do focus my attention on him because I feel like everything in my life has gone wrong lately. People passing away, no relationship, work getting on my last nerve. I am comitted to focusing on me now, thanks.

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