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Dusty Guppy
January 5, 2006
11:42 pm
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well, how would u do it? he is only a shit with me. if i leave there goes the comp. he will fuck the kids up. believe me,he will. and nobody in this town would come near me.

January 5, 2006
11:43 pm
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Philmore Bowles
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See, that's so hardcore. Any dumb thing I could ever say will never add up to the power of what you do EVERY DAY.

4 more years? You're on the home strech Gup! You could do that on one fin . . .

January 5, 2006
11:48 pm
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the year before i called off the sex. i had to take the board of education on to get one of my sons out of a bad teacher's class. it took me awhile. went to the school everyday. dork, here is telling everybody that he doesn't know where i am . that i am probably with my boyfriend. all kinds of crap. then all of a sudden, he decides to come to church with me. gets saved on (and i think this is fitting) on halloween. neither me or the kids went to see the show. he put on a good one too. and the whole time he is still saying stuff about me.

January 5, 2006
11:48 pm
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Shaney
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It's a crappy situation all around. You have four years to come up with a plan to get around all of the things that seem to be working against you. You're absolutely right to stay with your kids, and my comment wasn't meant as a challenge - I just feel really bad about the situation that you're in. Maybe, in the next few years, the things that you're worried about will work out somehow.

January 5, 2006
11:49 pm
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Philmore Bowles
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How would I do it? I would come and ask you how it's done.

It's easy for me, because I only have to look out for myself, at the end of the day. I know I can barely handle myself, much less a family. That's another reason why I haven't gotten into a relationship. So much responsibility!

January 5, 2006
11:51 pm
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mamacinnamon
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L&F:

Aww honey.... Didn't know you were what I lived. It's a sad existence isn't it. Damn that lawyer that told you that, but I know in my case I'd have been dead if I'd tried. I know how guppy wants to bad even to just jump into the toilet and get flushed for freedom, but yes, you have your kids to live for. I lived for mine and when we did finally get divorced and he had visitation... so sad. My son I don't think will ever be ok. My daughter hasn't spoken to him in 5years or more. Oh guppy how my heart breaks for you. If you ever need to talk... I do understand bad mafia movies very well.

Hi Philmore and Shaney 🙂

January 5, 2006
11:52 pm
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Philmore Bowles
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The church can't save him from himself.

January 5, 2006
11:54 pm
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Philmore Bowles
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Hi Mama

January 5, 2006
11:56 pm
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Shaney
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I had a friend that was in your situation. She had three little girls and helped to put her druggie h through school in the early years of their marriage. She counted the days that she could be free of him, when her last girl turned 18. During the few years that I was hanging out with her, she socked away a ton of money... some came from credit cards, some she took for herself when she paid the bills every month. She had a ton of money in her mother's name, in some safe deposit box... just in case she ever needed to get out before her last girl was grown. It happened... she didn't last. She ended up kicking him out and he never came back. He gives her a ton of support, she has the house, and she's got a shitload of money stashed away if she ever needs to leave town and start over. She was setting herself up for years. I'm not saying it's right... but what is RIGHT in a situation like this.

January 5, 2006
11:58 pm
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i'm just swimmin, swimin, swimin....la la la la la.

January 5, 2006
11:58 pm
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Shaney
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BTW - he went on to own his own business and made a ton of money and she stayed home with the kids.

January 5, 2006
11:59 pm
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Philmore Bowles
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Hey, it's not like he's playing by the rules.

January 6, 2006
12:00 am
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Shaney
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Hi mama :o) I've gotta walk the dogs - they're just crazy wound up right now.

January 6, 2006
12:01 am
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Philmore Bowles
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Nothing quite as good as simple freedom.

January 6, 2006
12:04 am
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mama -that is too true. i would very much enjoy swimming circles . i reckon, that is the plan ...just flush and i'm away. bloop bloop. welcome to the real world.

January 6, 2006
12:08 am
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the man has two faces. the one i know and the one he shows the world. i just smile and go along.

January 6, 2006
12:13 am
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ok, now u get the whole picture. i am doing what i think i have to do, for this to turn out the best for my kids. my heart and soul. it isn't easy. i am still a girl and have dreams . i've just squashed them for now, so when i flip out on here i am just venting. and moaning for what isn't and never was. dont feel sorry for me or pity me. just applaud me that i pop out not bitter or revengful. which so far i am not. that is truly winning. that is the main reason i like to play on here. about the only place i can let it out.

January 6, 2006
12:14 am
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mamacinnamon
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L&F:

You need to have a plan. Just as Shaney talked about. $20 over on the groceries each week; $5 extra at Casey's when you get gas; $50 to this charity, but the check just never got there.... it's easy to do. And I'm not sayin take the guy for everything he's got. God knows I didn't. Mine took me for everything and then left me w/ the bills too. But it was all worth every drop of water on my cereal.

Do you ever look at other couples and wonder if they are also like us? Looks great on the outside, but you don't every want to walk thru the front door. Kinda like the Hotal California. You can visit but you can never leave. lol.

If you ever do decide to reach up and push that handle down... just call, I'll be on the other end of the drain pipe to pick you up. 🙂

Be back after awhile.

January 6, 2006
12:18 am
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Philmore Bowles
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Oh jeez. Sorry, I'm so out of it. I'm nodding off here. Short night & long day for me.

(((guppy)))

I'm going to get some Zs. Keep up the good work. I'll talk to you soon.

January 6, 2006
12:21 am
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got my ira's and i am a rn. not worried. if i can do this swimming up stream with a shark on my ass , then going downstream by myself will be a piece of cake. and i have watched others in divorces. how they do it. some get all the furniture and end up draging it everwhere. no fun. some get the house and live in it like a prisoner. no fun. i think walk away and be free is best...

January 6, 2006
12:23 am
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(((philmore)))
((((mama))))))

January 6, 2006
12:27 am
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i'm still a girl. went to walmart to gt grocerys . fbi guys are checking out beside me. very fine. made my gills flip flip.

January 6, 2006
1:08 am
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kasie919
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Lost:

ive just read through thos thread, I hope you dont mind me stepping in,

Im in you no win situation as well, but my son is 4 and the abuse started more worse when i filed for divorce last year, i was told by the lawyer what you were..

i had a whole bunh of money saved, he managed to clean out evry account before i could run to the bank, very sneaky..

Im impressed you have changed into a wall of no hurt, but im owrried at what will you be like after?
its not fair you have to live like this, and i know dont say sorry for you, but i am because im there..

my hb has brought up open marriage alot and i only assume that he has already "begun his flight"" but as long as he doesnt touch me i could care less,

Im different now than i was a year ago.. i need to get out and i blew it, should have run the minute i filed, but threats and figting over custody made me cave..

i can relate to all you ave gone through and said..

im sorry life has to be like this, know i have this wall around me and it will be hard to overcome the pain and allow people to see the real me..

i do feel for you..

Love Kasie

p.s.
its always good to lay at the bottom, sharks dont like it down there.........

January 6, 2006
5:24 pm
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Kasie-welcome to the club. although i dont wish this on anyone. the only advice i could give u is looking back, my h kept wanting to hve kids. and i went along. cause i love them, but for him, it was a way to hold me down. he knew what he was doing. as your son gets older, he will either have to get u to have a nother one, or get in into financial debt. anyway to keep u in line. just always watch your back. dont fall for the open marriage thing. if he can get u to agree , then u will probably find your self fighting for your son. now u know u are dealing with a snake. i feel for u. do u have any family to go to? this was another thing that held me here. i really didn't have any options. if u want to talk then i will be glad to tell u anything that might have worked for me. u can't change him, but u have to learn how to survive him. or get out. love, lost

January 6, 2006
5:39 pm
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i guess i am being passive agressive, but it was fun. mafia guppy likes to poke at shark. i called the company. downloaded new files and ran the checks. no problem. but i acted like i couldn't . drug it out till the shark's eyes were bugging. made him come back three times before i gave them to him. and now i am not answering he phone again. i will just say i took a nap and didn't hear it. he he. oh well. i really got his attention when i mentioned i might have to hand figure all the checks. i told him it would take hours and hours and did he want to help. he doesn't have a clue how. this made him leave pretty quick and i watched two shows of the nanny before i handed them over.

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