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DUNKS TEMPTED
December 24, 2008
12:38 am
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dunks
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camer , thank you for your feed back.
im feeling wierd as i usually do in the Christmas time. I have my family away and miss them very much.
My ex bf e maiked me today, and after some back and foward e mailing session, he asked me to go have coffee with him. i was very busy at work and couldnt step out of the office, but i really didnt know what to do.
Actually i wanted to see him, but i knew thatit was not the best idea. it was going to set me back. i wrote back and explained to him that i didnt think it was a great idea for us to meet, that i was not there yet.
he was very nice about it.
i was about to asked him if he was still sober, but i didnt wanted to get into that.
i get so confused in between what i think i should do and what i think its better for me to do.
I really would ve loved to see him but i would ve been a mental mess already, and since i didnt want to go back to feeling like that i decided not to.
i wonder if it is better not to have contact at all.
and i wonder what could happen if i see him.

December 24, 2008
12:44 am
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bblue
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Dunks I admire your courage and clear thinking
Wish I was there - hopefully soon

BBlue

December 24, 2008
9:09 am
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atalose
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Wow dunks yes, what courage and strength you have!!! Good for you and to know yourself well enough to know that seeing him was a mistake for you right now is so healthy but I’m sure it feels weird.

When we begin to do healthy things it does feel weird, out of place and not right, so we tend to question ourselves.

I think the no contact at all is best at least for now then some where down the road when you emotions about him and the relationship are calmed and not stirred up by hearing from him or about him, then maybe you can have a cup of coffee with him. But what I learned the farther away you get the less you want that contact at all.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

December 24, 2008
11:04 am
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Zebra
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Dunks,

Great job with your decision. I am sure it was hard, as I know it would have been for me to make it to.

You are right if you are not ready and you would have been a mental mess, then you do not need to see this person. I also think no contact is good. I am currently doing that with my EX and I tell you what a wonderful peace of mind I have. Yes it is hard at times, but healthy too. And it does feel weird to do healthy thinking, but it will become automatic for us someday.

Merry Christmas to you, Z

December 28, 2008
6:46 pm
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dunks
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Its so good when i get you guys coment back. i dont feel alone.
Yes, it is so wierd to do the healthy ting.
I was talking to my friends last night and they also think that i made the right decision in not seing him.
Its is so wierd to know that not seing him is the right think to do and at the same time you would like to see them.
i guess that breaking the pattern is very difficult.
My friends were telling me that is he contacs me again, i should tell him to please not to e mail me any more.
i dont know what to do, beacuse i can just see a happy new year e mail coming any minute.
thanks again for your response and happy new year!!!

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