Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Drowning in Anxiety
November 3, 2004
6:03 pm
Avatar
blujay
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Clinical depression, generalized anxiety disorder, codependent...all terms used to describe me and my screwed-up head. I've ruined relationships and lived as a scared child in an adult's body. How do I fix myself? I just want to get rid of all this fear and just LIVE!!! I want to be a strong, confident, happy person. I've gone to couseling and know whats wrong with me and why...now HOW do I fix it??? Someone help me please!

November 3, 2004
6:08 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Welcome Blujay,

The first thing I noticed about your post is that you stated "I want to fix myself." RIGHT ON!!! You are the only one who can get the job done, and get it done right! Coming to this site for support is a great start.

Are you already seeing a therapist/counselor? If not, is this an option you could consider?

Ren'ai

November 3, 2004
6:22 pm
Avatar
blujay
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yes I am seeing a counselor (I'm on my third), but I've done this for years and I'm still broken. I'm starting to lose hope.

November 3, 2004
7:21 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi Blu and welcome..you can fix yourself if you want to, it just takes time...keep seeing your therapist, keep posting here, and read some books on Codependency...ones from Melody Beattie are great...and try to attend Coda meetings...they are all very helpful...and most importantly be sure to take good care of YOU>

November 3, 2004
7:48 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Blu and Welcome to AAC!

There are several people here with anxiety disorders myself included. I do not know how much you know about them, but yes you can get better. I'm a classic example of that. And there are several different coping techniques to deal with this as well as medication, CBT, Biofeedback, deep breathing techniques and other ways. You are not alone! If I can answer any questions you may have, just ask!
Baby Steps....

Sunny

November 4, 2004
11:04 am
Avatar
blujay
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Sunnygrl-
How do you get better? People keep telling me it takes time, but that makes me even more anxious. I want a fix now. I've tried medications but that made me numb to the problems causing my anxiety, so I continued to make mistakes and fall into old bad habits, but I didnt know why cause I felt great- so I want to avoid meds if I can. Ive also tried breathing techniques and trying to counter negative self talk, but with the breathing, I cant clear my head of my anxious talk, and I feel like Im countering my negative self-talk all the time- I can't stop talking to myself!! It makes me feel real distracted and disconnected from my responsibilities- my husband and my son and I don't like that. How do I just relax and let go?

November 4, 2004
11:20 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Morning Blu,

I'm sorry to say there is no quick fix. I wish there were. I have been dealing with this since 1989 and I still have to work on it but from where I was to where I am now? It's a complete turnaround. Are you seeing someone who specializes in anxiety disorders? Because if they don't know anything about them or have experience in dealing with it you might want to find someone else who does know how to deal with this if you possibly can. A good support system is very important.Is your family supportive? I found that the more open I was in talking about it, the more I understood just what was going on and how to work on it. I will be honest, I have to take 1 med a day for mine and I tried so many until I finally found the one that was a miracle for me. There is so much to all this, I'll wait to hear back and see what you think.

Sunny

November 4, 2004
11:23 am
Avatar
kathygy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Maybe you were not on the right medication. I have an anxiety disorder and take medication. It does not leave me feeling numb at all but does help with the anxiety and panic. Therapy takes years meanwhile, I found 12-step meetings to be a life saver and gave me hope. I always felt much better after a meeting. Is there anything in your life that is making you anxious that you can change? Maybe you need a different therapist if it's not helping you feel hopeful. Also, I write in my journal everyday. I write down my feelings and that helps a lot with my anxiety. Talking to good friends helps a lot too.

November 4, 2004
2:46 pm
Avatar
blujay
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Sunny and kathygy

In working with my therapists, my anxiety comes from my childhood. So now I am working on dealing with that. I have a low self-esteem and often feel powerless and small. People took advantage of me and I let them. I felt like an object, specifically, a sexual object. That made me feel anxious and uncomfortable quite often. When I was on meds, I felt better about myself. I didnt have much to talk about in therapy, so I lessen my visits. However, I began to empower myself sexually- -I made men my objects to toy with- -not very healthy I know. But it gave me the attention and power I never had. I feel like if I hadnt been on meds, that wouldnt have happened- -I became such a slut!! Well, I went off of meds, gat married, had a baby and was anxious and lonely and needed meds again, so i went back on. Once again I felt great, didnt do much in counseling cause I felt great. Then comes along a man who gave me lots of attention- -and that felt great..but things got too far- -I didnt sleep with him, but they went too far. I told my husband and we're dealing with it, but I am sooo anxious. I feel guilty and undeserving. I am now pregnant and fear death everyday because i don't think im worthy of happiness. I have been so awful!!I want to go back on meds because i felt great, but I can't- -I do stupid things when I feel good...maybe Im just destined to feel awful...at least then I wont hurt anybody else. I don't know I'm so confused. What a mess I've gotten myself into!
I like my counselor now and he understands and respects my desire to heal without medication. I feel good about our sessions, but I feel like I need a session everyday! I feel so crazy!!

November 4, 2004
8:49 pm
Avatar
brendalee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi blujay,
Anxiety sucks! It's like fear that is not really grounded into anything concrete, in my opinion....and the more anxiety about "THE anxiety"...the more it snowballs, you know? What has helped me in the past when an episode occurred (usually out of seemingly no where)- is to try and not feed into it. To kind of "put on the brakes" in my mind and ask myself - OK - some powerful stuff is surfacing...what's this REALLY about? What's REALLY going on here? Sometimes an answer would surface - sometimes not. In any event - I learned to somehow (in most cases) "nip it in the bud" before it took over completely and put me in a real hard place to try and crawl out of. All of these things, in my opinion, anxiety attacks, triggers etc...are not REALLY meant to freak us out and catch us off-guard and make us miserable - but just to pass along some kind of a message. Sometimes the message is clear - sometimes not....doesn't really matter. Just allow. Don't feed into it - maybe someday - it'll make sense, maybe not - but it's definently SOMETHING that has to do with SOMETHING else that may not be immediately and crystal clear. I've learned to live with that and just accept it...and in the process have found that it passes quickly. THIS is where having a ready supply of self-soothing techniques comes in handy....whatever works for you. All of us have an "inner wisdom" which will NOT BE DENIED!!!!! Go with it, experience it as quickly as possible and soothe yourself in as many ways as you can think of...and it DOES pass. The title of this post is "Drowning in Anxiety." I say - toss yourself your OWN life preserver....it's entirely possible. (Just my opinion) Sorry if I sound preachy - just passing along what works for me. brendalee

November 4, 2004
9:16 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Brenda,

I'm so glad to see you here helping with this! And you are right! You have to feel the experience of an OOTB panic attack (out of the blue) Feel the feelings, gosh I have so much I want to say and my info is not by my side but I will try to post some things Blu that may possibly help you, as they have for me. The bottom line is, a panic attack never killed anyone. I didn't believe that at first, but I do know better now. It is your body responding to what the brain tells it. Fight or flight syndrome (adrenaline) and that is natural. Most anxiety sufferers have too much adrenaline. The tools are there, I'll try to help you any way I can Blu!

Hugs to both,

Sunny

November 4, 2004
9:25 pm
Avatar
brendalee
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

That's right Sunny - bottom line - a panic attack never killed anyone! I would add Fight/Flight or "Freeze" - just a natural response to overwhelming stimulus. Just natural.
(though it feels so "un-natural" as it is occurring.) I really think that our intellect gets in our own way alot and can trip us up - always probing for the who, what, where, when, why and how...when it just simply is what it is, you know? (Hard to bypass that pesky intellect! 🙂 )

November 4, 2004
11:26 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Brenda,

Oh how well I understand! That is why I now say..Instead of "What if? So what!"

Hugs,

Sunny

November 5, 2004
1:17 pm
Avatar
blujay
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Sunny and Brenda-

Thanks so much for your wisdom. It does feel like the world is caving in on me at times and then I look around at the outside world and see all of these people living their lives without this constant nagging in their minds and I think, why can't I do that? This stuff is just stuff and I really need to start taking more of a "so what" attitidue towards my anxiety issues. Sometimes I do that and I have a good day, but sometimes I don't and I'm sick of all the work it takes just to feel "normal" but I guess thats part of the process and I have to do the work in order to get better. It's hard though, because alot of my anxiety has to do with death- -fearing my own or a loved one- -that's the anxiety thats hard to control because I have no control over death.

Thanks though, both of you. It's so nice to talk to people who understand what this feels like, and advice is always appreciated 🙂
-blu

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
27
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110976
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714257
Newest Members:
nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker, Why.., Why.
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information