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Dream interpretation
November 21, 2000
3:13 pm
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snickerz
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Does anyone believe that dreams mean anything?

I have been dating a wonderful man for almost 6 months now. We have both talked about marriage (he brought it up first!!) and we both feel that we are right for each other. He told me about a month ago that he picked out a date for when he was going to ask me. Of course he won't tell me when! So, it looks like he's really going to ask me and it might be sometime soon. I hope it's before the holidays so when we go home to see my family, I'll have something to show off!! Anyway, this is my situation. Last night I had a dream. I don't know if it really means anything, or it was just my mind playing tricks on me. You tell me what you think....

My dream.....I was going over to an old friends house. It was a girl I knew in high school. When I got there, a lot of my old friends were there, people I haven't talked to in years. All of my ex-boyfriends were there as well. Anyway, I walked in and sat down. Everyone was talking about what they have been doing, and just catching up and remembering old times. After awhile, one guy, pointed at my finger and said "You're getting married!!!" and everyone looked and smiled and cheered. And then as they looked closer at the ring, they all cringed. I looked down and on my finger was the ugliest ring I have ever seen in my life. It has a little diamond that was yellowish and the ring itself was crooked and all mangled. I started to cry.

What do you think this could mean? Could it be a sign that the marriage will be a failure? I know that the ring itself isn't as important as the commitment made in a marriage, but I can't help but think that this dream was trying to tell me something. Let me know what you think...

Thanks!
Snickerz

November 21, 2000
3:30 pm
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Snickerz.

What do you think it means?

November 21, 2000
4:15 pm
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snickerz
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I don't know what it means. I worry that it means that although things seem well between the two of us, that it will not last. Why else would the ring on my finger look gross and mangled?!?! Maybe I'm just having cold feet. Oh listen to me. We're not even engaged yet!!! He just said he was going to ask me and that he picked out a date. Maybe the dream means, he'll never ask me. Maybe our relationship will turn sour before it reaches that point. I don't know what to think. I just worry.

November 21, 2000
4:48 pm
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gingerleigh
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My family is very superstitious and believes in the power of dreams. Their take on this would be that dreams almost *always* are to be interpreted as opposite of what they seem to be on the surface. For instance, if you wake up crying, that is a very good omen. If you wake up laughing, that's supposed to be very bad.

That said, let me also say that I don't put stock in the power of dreams to predict the future. Some do, and that's good for them, and some don't. We tend to dream about things that are worrying us or are important to us, and it sounds like your relationship is very very important to you. While you sleep, your brain is just working overtime and going "what if, what if, what if...", and this particular scenario was a jolt to you and you woke up. (For all you know, you might have had three other dreams on the same night where you both were taking your kids to the park or sitting in your rocking chairs by the fire 50 years from now, but you can't remember those because you didn't immediately wake up.)

Peace.

November 21, 2000
6:05 pm
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Molly
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Have you done your home work on marital readiness? Known him for a long while, gone over values, morals, and what if's ? Do you know his parents, watched how they interact, will your parents and family approve? Or.... do you want a nice big diamond ring to show off, with a real man behind it, just to prove that someone wants you, like not going home for the holidays with out a prize? Who knows what the dream meant, but these are the questions that came to mind.

November 22, 2000
5:24 pm
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Molly:

A well put and thought provoking response. I do hope Snickerz considers it carefully to see if it holds truth for her situation.

Snickerz:
The reason I asked for your interpretation of your dream was because you are the only one who can accurately interprete your dream. Others interpretations are only guesses. Your psyche constructed the dream. Only your psyche can give you the meaning of the dream.

Just before you go to sleep, lie there and remember the dream. Then, ask yourself to explain the dream to you whilst asleep. The chances are good that you will 'dream' the meaning of the dream in more explicit terms and remember the dreamed explanation. This has worked many times for me.

I believe that dreams are the "royal road to the unconscious". However, this does not necessarily imply accurate prophesy. It does imply illumination within consciousness of your hidden fears and desires though.

November 23, 2000
7:58 am
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radar2
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I agree with gingerleigh. You usually dream something you've been thinking about or are worried about.

November 26, 2000
2:25 pm
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Corin
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Hi...I have a feeling that the dream was just a way that your unconscious was expressing anxiety about such a big (possible) change in your life...cold feet as you said. I think dreams do help us to know what's going on under the surface BUT I don't think you should get more anxious just because you have these feelings...they sure seem normal to me. I think that we all have our ways of avoiding intimacy and so our anxiety about just who this other person really is is one way to flee.
Years ago I read a book, I think by Fritz Perls about Gestalt Therapy and they had another way to respond to dreams....you play the parts of any facet of the dream and sort of free associate....for example you might "be" the ring and say..."I'm the ring...I'm ugly and worthless and everybody is shocked by my sight" and then see if any of that rings true to anything within you. I've done this with dreams and have had some pretty intense insights...and it's fun. I think this philosophy believes that since the dream is your mind's creation that all of it reflects you. I hope everything goes well, until next time , Corin

November 27, 2000
5:01 pm
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Corin.

I endorse what you have written. I would like to expand a little on it. I'm not sure that we can tie dreams down to any one cause. I see that dreams may originate from a number of posible sources.

Wish fulfilment is certainly a possible source driving our dream creations.

Release of pent up emotional tension, anxiety reduction and closure of emotional issues another.

Telepathic communication with others in this dimension and possibly others is another.

Some even believe that the source of all life, the Supreme, communicates with us in our dreams.

Since we have a left and right hemispheric brains, I suspect that we can have rational story like dreams and mixed up, chaotic, symbolic dreams , both dependent upon the dominant hemisphere at the time of dreaming. Perhaps the so called active and passive sleep cycles and the dreams experienced therein, are hemisphere dependent activities. I'm not sure.

Lucid dreaming seems to be the objective of dream enthusiasts. Apparently, it is quite a field of human experiences.

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