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Draft letter to son - what do you think?
July 24, 2007
10:20 am
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Sakti
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Our choices are different this is true, however neither one of us in “error.” The compromise I offered her was not good enough for either one of you. Compromises open us up to new possibilities. My blessing was, well, kicked in the face. In our conversation you came rolling towards me like a huge ball with your ugly words. On impact – that ball bounced right off me and hit you square in the face. This is not my issue, it belongs to you. I do not own it, nor do I feel guilty about MY decision. I hope you will take a look at your issue as I do mine when I’m made aware of them. I will always have expectations of you son. I don’t know what I will get in writing you this letter other than to let you know that your behavior and the way you spoke to me hurt.

This will end up being a much kinder letter once I'm done. I' hurt right now. Thanks for letting me share.

Sakti

July 24, 2007
1:36 pm
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caraway
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Sakti,

Your letter does sound like you are hurt, and defensive. I would say trash it and start over. This letter is not very clear and will most likely not convey what you would like for it to.

I am not sure what has happened between you and your son, but I am sorry to hear that you have been hurt.

Cary

July 24, 2007
2:01 pm
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mj
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I hope that you find the words you need to express how you feel. Sounds like writing will help you be who you are.

All morning I have spent journaling to myself. It helps me.

I am sorry to hear that you and your son have had a disagreement. I hope you work through it. (((Sakti)))

July 26, 2007
1:50 am
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_anonymous
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Writting the letter might make you feel better but I have no idea what impact it will have on your son. Since he is a male he will feel like you are blaming him for the conflict, and get mad. The best gift you can give him is time to think about what happened. Males have a gift for being able to figure things out on their own and finding a solution without being prompted by letters or lectures. By the way I thought the letter was very well written and to the point.

July 30, 2007
4:30 pm
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Sakti
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It has been a week now and last night I called him and left him voice mail letting asking him to call no response, but that want keep me from doing it once a week until I get tired. Sweeping this under the rug is not a solution and I don't want him to get that message from me but me not calling him. This is how my letter was finalized:

Dear Son,

I value you as a person and love you as my son. I regret that in your view I made the wrong decision about my car. The decision I made was in the best interest of everyone.

It hurt me when you said my decision was about greed, however when I’m accused of something I examine myself to see if there is any truth to the accusation and there is no truth to this one.

There is something I want to reinforce in telling you, we can agree to disagree and this is a healthy way to say to one another I don’t agree with what you are doing without using words to hurt one another.

So this is your issue not mine.

I love you,

Mom

I’m open to talking to you when you are ready.

This letter has not been delivered and it may not ever.

Sakti

August 4, 2007
3:38 pm
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got2bmb
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Send it already!

August 4, 2007
3:46 pm
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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Very nicely put!!!!

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