Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Down - anyone else around?
October 10, 2006
6:10 pm
Avatar
lovinglife
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Amry~ I was just reading something in my Al-Anon book (which brings to mind - is your husband a drinker, as in does HE have a problem? You mentioned about HIS liquor.)

Anyhow- about our past and what I just read...."Accepting what we can not change and changing what we can..."

Ok our past is our past- we can not change anything about it... However we can learn from it- often its in our childhoods that set the pattern for our adult life. I will not place blame on either of my parents but I have looked at things while growing up and been able to see.."Ok that make sense now..."

We should not dwell on our past or get stuck there, but if we can learn something from it- then why not take a look at it.

October 10, 2006
6:15 pm
Avatar
lovinglife
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ok interesting...you shared the story of your parents...

father had affairs. Was it you that mentioned that your husband had an affair?

Then you talked about how your parents were not lovey-dovey, not huggy... and your next posting stated that was just what you wanted from your husband- affection - to be told that your loved.

October 10, 2006
6:15 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh thank God, someone to talk to. No he does not have a problem. We have booze, at home all the time, because my father has a bar, he gets fancy bottles from the vendors. etc. I think because I grew up around booze, I drink on occasion at social times, and my husband will have a beer when he getss home from work.

And now is a great social occasion, I celebrating with friends!

October 10, 2006
6:19 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Army,

thanks for taking a drink for me....that made me smile. I think I may be going to take one for me too here pretty soon. Please just know that I am here and that i care.

Scared

October 10, 2006
6:22 pm
Avatar
lovinglife
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Mich! Good to see you here. I feel like a drink myself, BUT what I want to do or feel like doing is totally different than what I need to do.

October 10, 2006
6:26 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Loving....
I am done being mean to people on my thread for now. I wasn't really mean though. Fairly certain that tonight is a drinking night for me too. I did post back to you in my thread, but you may have to go back a little bit to find it.

Army...
You are a GOOD person. Keep telling yourself that. That is what they keep telling me.

Scared

October 10, 2006
6:26 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yes, my husband had an affair, then. She worked at a flower shop, at first flowers started coming to the house, he said it was from workk, things he had done for people good jobs.

Then I would find flower in the outside trash, teddy bears from the flower stores!!!! etc.

He couldn't hide it anymore, he told me it stopped, I believed him and then ~ 1 years ago I saw a letter from her....

" Hi baby how you doing miss you etc etc etcc" I could vomit. He told me it ended yet I felt so STUPID with a capital S because I believed him.

He hasn't gone out for the last year so I guess he broke up with her.

OMG, I could just die right now, why does it bother me. I''m the only stupid person on this planet.

October 10, 2006
6:29 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I HATE HIM, I HATE ME!!!

why is all this happening? I'm making a fool of myself, but it's all tumbing out and i don't know why.

October 10, 2006
6:31 pm
Avatar
lovinglife
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ummmm, the only stupid person on this planet...no I thought I held that title...

See I divorced my abusive husband and moved on with life. Somehow I forget all about the hell he put me through and when he hit a rock bottom- I picked him up and allowed him back into my life and my home. It was only suppose to be for 6 months...Yeah, well...3 years later and I can't get him to leave. He has managed in the last 3 years to pretty much take me down on every aspect. Talk about feeling stupid.

October 10, 2006
6:35 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

loving you seem to have it all together, you not falling apart.

October 10, 2006
6:35 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well, can we split the title 3 ways?

October 10, 2006
6:36 pm
Avatar
ggfred4
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Lovinglife and scared: I have not had an abusive husband so I am afraid to post at times to army. Yet, army knows that I worry about her everyday ever since I heard her story. I am scared for her safety. I want to go and whip his ass! I want to take her and the kids away to safety and let her experience the happiness she deserves.

Now, what am I supposed to say since I do not have experience in this area?

October 10, 2006
6:37 pm
Avatar
lovinglife
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

and your not making a fool out of yourself...you are trying to get the pain to stop...we can only hold in our pain for so long and it's going to come spilling on out all over the place.

The good thing in here is that we don't know each other. I can share my life story, my pain in here... and wake up the next day and not have to face a bunch of people that just heard my life story and deep secrets face to face. I'm safe in here, my story is safe in here. And I'll tell ya - this is the place to do it because everyone here has a painful story- we can understand each other, we can support each other and the resources that get passed on are incredible.

October 10, 2006
6:38 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Army,

what we all seem to be we are not. Please remember that. If you stick around here long enough, you will know that you are not alone. We are all here together for a reason. We have all made choices that weren't smart, and we have all been the vitim of others poor choices. What we need to figure out though now, is what WE are going to do about it. It will be different for all of us.

October 10, 2006
6:38 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((Scared))) - everyone seems to hug on this board, I've never done that so I will.

Your my first hug

(((Loving))))

(((Kasssie))))

I can go on and on and on.

October 10, 2006
6:39 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I feel good right now!!! Don't anyone leave the party just started!!!

October 10, 2006
6:40 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Right back at ya babe. We are in this together. Keep your chin up. That is hard to say when I am not doing so well myself, but, I am trying to help me by encouraging you. I don't know if I am helping or hurting, but time will tell.

October 10, 2006
6:41 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Good, what is for food and drinks at this party? What can I bring?

October 10, 2006
6:41 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((gg))) ((((gg))) You get a double hug!!! This is fun

October 10, 2006
6:41 pm
Avatar
lovinglife
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

OH AMRYLEO - gf I seem to have it all together???...ok let's go back 3-4 months in here...oh lord I was a mess : ) It is because of this place that I am finally able to piece myself together and getting better than I ever have been in my life. Long ways to go yet- but have come a long ways since my very first post in here.

And Mich - I suppose we could split the title 3 ways... though ...shoot... if Matteo is around I'm in trouble...I take that back - I am not a stupid person- uh-oh I'm going to hear it.

October 10, 2006
6:43 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Husband says I'm a horribe cook, and it's ended up in the trash or he refuses to eat. So you bring the food, I'll supply martini's and margaritas!!

What flavor do you like?

October 10, 2006
6:44 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Loving...

Matteo will have to accept the backslidden loving. We all backslide here and there right? Two weeks ago I wanted to die, did well for two weeks and I am right back where I was.

Army (((Infinite hugs to you sunshine))) and you to Loving. Thanks for being so supportive of me today.

October 10, 2006
6:45 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am all for the margaritas, onthe rocks, mmmm I think I might have to really do that....I will bring chips and salsa as well. Anything else...I have all kinds of hugs to bring too...

October 10, 2006
6:48 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((((HUGGGSSSS)))) Door is open bring the salasa baby!! Oh we forgot one more thing the music

October 10, 2006
6:49 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Jas where are you - do you want to join the party????

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
30
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111118
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38715
Posts: 714564
Newest Members:
Marek, ssdchemical33, jack1palmer, SURUMANQ, petersmith98, ChristenD
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information