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doubleloss... where are you?
November 7, 2006
9:46 pm
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needtoheal
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Hi double...

I saw the post on the thread that I wrote to Ma Strong...

How are YOu??

November 7, 2006
9:50 pm
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doubleloss
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hi need. not to good. up and down up and down and feeling a but unglued and crazy. thanks for asking. i have 2 threads: one about xbf (i'm really hurting, need advise, haven't slept for days); one about failed marriage (drowining in pain and confusion).

yesterday had a good day, today is a bad one.

i read the thread MA Strong, i'm happy and inspired that you are feeling strong. i have those days but they don't seem to last.

November 7, 2006
9:58 pm
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needtoheal
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yeah i understand my friend... I am also prepared for the bad days but I have to admit that the bad days seem to only be when my kids are with their father..

I am so glad that you posted double..

I have been thinking of you

I remember how much you were there for me when I first came here and I want you to know that I appreciate it... I really really do... thank you

November 7, 2006
10:17 pm
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needtoheal
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alright double i am going to post here. i went to your threads and I totally can relate ....

I was in this relationship with pond scum for 4 years (the now ex-bf)

and I decided that he obviously does nOT love me.. and I can no longer love him as well...

THere is no debate about it for me..

He has played so many games with me

I am done.... I do have a choice and the power so I made the decision to cut the "lifeline" to him and changed my cell phone number.. If he called it then he knows that I am out of his life for good now...

I got so tired of his games... mind games of most recent... that he did know what he wants.. then stayed away from me,., then he said that he does not want any type of relationship with me right now because I am too emotionally draining...hmmm..

then he said that it was not necessarily that he no longer wanted me in his life but we could talk....

he needed a break,, a vacation

well, to me, he got his break and he can take a very very VERy long vacation because he is no longer welcome into my house, my heart, my brain, my soul...

I am done....

and that is the way I want to keep it too

I shuffled back and forth,, I went 6 days without contact (although I did text him back but with not telling him how I felt or what I was doing)

and then i talked to him for about a week....
well, that was enough..

the last conversation that we had he told me that he was sorry... and i asked "For" and he said that he has hurt me...

he also reminded me in this last conversation that he never told me that he does not want me out of his life completely..

well, he knows that this is what I went through with my ex-husband and he was my friend or crutch through the divorce process///

He said that after he was sorry he had to go and he would talk to me later and he never called and neither did i.. and then no calls were exchanged Sunday and he did not call MOnday so after I got home from work I decided that I did not want
to be anxious if he calls or text me so I changed the phone number.. He has not called the house line...
he might with my sons birthday coming on friday .. but I will try to get it blocked,..having an arguemnet with the phone company about it./..

anyway. double i really do understand

and i want you to know that I am here for you. i care about you

and i hope that things will get better for you soon,..

just please get rest... these men are not up thinking and worrying about our feelings...

do not think about HIM at all./.

try to think about YOU because you are what matters most...

and no one deserves to be treated unfairly in a relationship

November 7, 2006
10:19 pm
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needtoheal
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Day 3 NO CONTact

but the longest that HE has ever gone in the past four years without contacting ME is 5 days...

i am prepared ....

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