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Doris Day and Scorned Women
March 13, 2008
6:44 am
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DorisDay
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Good morning loves. I have a very rare day off...going to get my new car. I have been driving a Toyota Corolla and have decided to trade it in for a convertible Solara. Yes, midlife crisis here..lol.

Silda Spitzer. As we have all heard, Eliot has been indulging in a prostitution ring for a while, spending thousands of dollars on a young, pretty, 20 something year old prostitute. Plastered all over the news is this young woman's face. She is gorgeous.

As I watched Silda yesterday standing by Eliot, I saw the all too familiar puffy eyes and twitching mouth muscles, of a woman who was trying to hold it together as she faced her husband's infidelity in a public arena. She is broken.

Most of us here know that look. We have experienced the shock of infidelity. We understand the confusion that lurks in Silda: "wasn't I good enough for him?" We all have questioned why our significant other strayed. Is he sick? Does he have damage to his frontal lobe? Does he have a sex addiction? Is it "normal" for a man to stray? Does procreation and the urge to have sex play into infidelity? Does he love me? What about our three daughters?

I feel so sorry for anybody who endures this pain. Of course, none of us know their intimate lives. Did Silda know and accept Eliot's philanderings? Was Silda blind-sided by all of this? Will they stay together? Can this marriage be saved?

I have been following this story...knowing how I have been hurt in the past, BUT, without the public humiliation of my personal life spread all over the news. I simply was another woman scorned...I wasn't the First Lady of New York...or the First Lady of the Nation..i.e....when Hillary Clinton faced the music with Bill and Monica.

People often think men rule the world. They don't. Women do. Look at history: "Empires" have crumbled due to infidelity. Gary Hart was a shoe-in for the Democratic nod back in the 80s, but blew it with a photo of Donna Rice sitting on his lap on a boat called "Monkey Business." Then there was Jim Bakker...then the Sondra Levy scandal..and the name escapes me of the Congressman who was pegged as her lover...as she went missing and found dead in D.C. We have had public officials embarrassed by escapades in the mens room...the list goes on and on...too numerous to recount at 6:30 a.m.

Is it human nature? None of us are perfect. One thing is for certain: most of us will experience infidelity at one point in our lives.

I wish there was a quick fix to take the pain away.

March 13, 2008
7:43 am
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autumn128
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Doris,

Good Morning dear!! I have a toyota corolla too. I like your midlife crisis line. lol.

Anyway, You have some interesting thoughts this morning. I think that I am exhausted from thinking about infidelity. It's everywhere.

I ofter wonder about why women stay with straying men. This is just a guess, but I would say that the majority of women that are married to these men have children with them.

I've had a couple of girlfriends whose husbands have cheated. The one had no kids with this man, and she is the ONLY one who left the bum. The ones that have kids, stayed.

The sad, sad, part about this, is that when you ask these women why they stay, it's "for the kids".

Well, let me tell you something. My parents were married for 20 years. My father had a string of girlfriends during that time. He finally left my mother when he found "the one".

Thanks mom for staying with dad. For the kids? Are you kidding me?

I have been in two relationships where the man is either married, or left me for his ex-wife. I am now in counseling, because I can't trust anyone!!!!!!!!!

I think if my mother would have left my father years earlier, should would have given me a much better example. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

I'm sorry, but women that stay with cheating men are just fooling themselves. My ex told me that he doesn't love his wife, but she is a good mother!! Wow, lucky her.

These men are selfish, rotten, and think that the whole world revolves around them.

By the way, the woman my dad left my father for: LONG GONE.

Autumn

March 13, 2008
7:44 am
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CAMER
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hi Doris....Silda may stand by her man, but she should have at least stayed at home, i don't know why she feels she has to stand "next" to him as he resigns, and always showing her face next to his...yes, she may stand by her man, so to speak, but she doesn't have to do it publically (is that a word?).....time will tell if her relationship lasts, i am sure there is much more behind the scenes that we don't see. I feel bad for her, but she chose to stick by this
man.

March 13, 2008
7:44 am
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autumn128
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woops, I meant the woman my dad left my mother for. But you all knew that.

March 13, 2008
7:56 am
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DorisDay
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I am sure many books will be written on WHY these things occur to such public figures, and WHY women feel compelled to face the music with their men.....

It truly is a fascinating case to study.

I think my thesis for my Masters will be on infidelity. It intrigues me. I have had it happen to me so often, that maybe if I actually study the phenomena it would bring a peace to my soul.

March 13, 2008
10:30 am
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frayedknot
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Doris,

Congratulations on your new car!! Hopefully, the weather will cooperate and you will be driving topless!! The car that is.... ;O)

Frayed

March 18, 2008
10:42 am
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stamp
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This has been going on for years and my opinion, she knew all along. But what is she suppose to do, just throw in the towel. These punlic figures are taught to pretend that everything is okay. We do it as well. She has three daughters, living a comfortable life, so why give all that up. Yes it hurts. It has happened to me before. But the woman my ex left me for is long gone married with children. And yes there has been many after but they are lone gone. Here I am. And I say to my self why. After all thislong time. Maybe because it was meant to be or this is good for the time being. Almost like oh well I'll do this until something better comes along. I was told once a cheater always a cheater. But then do they deserve a second chance. I thoughy if you love something and set it free and if it comes back it was meant to be. Could this be what I'm going through. How do you put your gauards up. fool me once, shame on you fool me twice, shame on me. Tell me what would you do. lately everything has been okay, I'm almost shocked and then again I'm waiting for the bomb to drop. It's hell living like this but then it's hell being alone.

March 18, 2008
11:02 am
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DorisDay
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Stamp..are you back with your spouse who once cheated?

March 18, 2008
12:38 pm
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stamp
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Unfortunately, yes.

After 5 years while shopping in the grocery store he inquired about me via niece. She gave me his number and everything else is history. I have never cheated, totally against my morals. But the one he left me for has left him. So i felt like yes serve you right!! But I discovered I never stop loving him even after all the chaos. I have now been with him 3 years very up and down and i ask myself why am i here. I don't have to put up with this, but i do. My self esteem he has robbed in every way. I went through a terrible time whenI lost my mother to emphysema and he opened his doors to me. the hell I went through. Now i have my place and he's not too happy. So I ask myself why did he come back, He never says it, but do you think he loves me. he wasn't raised to show emotions so when I give it he shys away. but in his cards he says love and his name, something he has never done this valentine. I don't know what to think. I don't think we will ever be married, I don't have the desire to because then what will my family do. And children are totally out of the ?, I'm 37 now and I never wanted children. he has a son who is in college and no desire to have children. Of all he's dated I'm the only one w/o kids. I look at it this way, I'm 37 somewhat single, I have my own and work daily in the law arena. I/'m doing pretty well for myself. He does nothing for me, and I feel good because I owe him nothing. I truly love him and I'm wondering was my decision the best.

March 18, 2008
2:08 pm
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DorisDay
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(((((((((((STAMP))))))))))))

Love is so crazy..no rhyme or reason...trust me, I know!

I am glad you witnessed the Karma coming back to whip him. Amazing..he hurt you so, left for the other woman, and she does the same thing to him. Ha. Serves him right indeed.

I am glad you have a life somewhat of your own. That is good to know.

I hope things unravel for you and you can see your way clear to somebody who is truly worthy of you!

March 19, 2008
4:59 pm
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stamp
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Thanks Doris i pray daily. I could use your wisdom so keep me posted

March 19, 2008
5:08 pm
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DorisDay
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I swear Stamp..I have been so trampled on we need a new word for trampled.

I was humming along today, feeling great. Bingo. A herpes outbreak. Thank you so much husband-asshole #1. My FIRST encounter with sex, I get herpes; then later, gonorrhea, then HPV. Nice.

My experience with infidelity just never leaves. It is a virus..always poking fun at me. It is ridiculous.

So you know what? I am now living for ME. I just invested in Bragg's Apple Cider vinegar and am getting into cleansing. I am going to chuck some of this each day, and let all the poison the last son-of-a-puppy put into me, purge.

We are more than just a validation of a man's desires!

March 20, 2008
2:22 pm
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stamp
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What is the cider vinger for

March 20, 2008
2:29 pm
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stamp
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I'm 37 and I'm having hot flashes like yesterday and i can time them to a tee. Could this be premeno???
I nver wanted any children. I went to my gyn because i suffer from endometre and I was told I can go on this pill that gives a period ever three months then eventually another that breaks the body sown puts it intoa pre meno state. this is the new way to prevent hystos. I'm an emotional person as it is and I would like to know will my sex life change. And I would have to be on the hormonal pills for ever.

March 20, 2008
3:14 pm
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DorisDay
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Hi Stamp.

I will begin with the following statement: I am NOT a health professional. However, I have been to the mountaintop and back with my female parts!

I had a total hysterectomy 12/13/07. I have NEVER felt better. I thought I felt fine prior to the surgery, but now that I am "balanced," there is nothing like it in the world.

You see, right after surgery, I was in menopause. The surgeon took my ovaries due to a strong family history of ovarian cancer. Things started to look suspect with my sonograms.

Wanting to do everything natural, I have sought the expertise of a retired OBGYN, who is also into holistic medicine. Ready? here we go:

Get a flaxseed grinder. I ordered one online from KRUPS. Grinde whole flaxseed each day, sprinkle it on your food.

Purchase a GOOD multivitamin, with magnesium and selenium in it.

Make sure you are taking calcium.

Estro Logic, a combination herb for menopause, helped me IMMENSELY. Google it and you will find the rap sheet on it.

Don't forget the glucosomine for your joints.

Drink 8 glasses of water per day.

stay away from sodium, diet sodas, soda and alcohol.

Stay away from sugar (ugh!).

Right now I am on a natural hormone replacement cream that my doctor called in the prescription for. It is excellent. I feel 16 again..but it is only available by prescription, with estrogen and progesterone in it.

Progesterine cream can be purchased over the counter, at many health food stores, on online. For women who still have their cycles, it is advisable to use some days 12-20 of their cycles.

I hope this helps!

March 20, 2008
3:47 pm
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2BHAPPY
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Doris, you are quite busy with all those supplements.

I am taking the flax oil..they said it is much better than taking the flaxseed as it is liquid.

I started taking the glucosaimin (s?)
and then I forget.

I wish I was as discipline as you..no wonder you feel so great.

Isnt liberating to have a hysterectomy at our age? I think I wrote to you just before you were going to have the operation and told you that it would be good experience afterwards. My big question how different do we feel when we are having sex. The last few times didnt really count for me since the man had ED and it was such a struggle to have sex even with Viagra.

I think I am feeling much better about right now. Atalose reminded me about a few things and thats good..Kind of hit me over the head with it.

 

 

2bHappy

March 20, 2008
4:02 pm
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DorisDay
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My hysterectomy was radical..took everything, including those little hormone making ovaries.

The flaxseed I buy is whole..like the entire seed. My holistic doctor said if you grinde it fresh each day, you are getting the freshest of the nutrients. All I know is it tastes good!

I guess it is traumatic for men to lose their erections as they age. Dr. Ex liked to use Viagra just for the extra pleasure, but lamented that his dick had aged.

LOL! OH GOOD FOR HIM!

March 24, 2008
2:30 pm
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stamp
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Right now I am on a natural hormone replacement cream that my doctor called in the prescription for. It is excellent. I feel 16 again..but it is only available by prescription, with estrogen and progesterone in it.

What is this cream??

March 24, 2008
2:52 pm
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DorisDay
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Hi Stamp.

It doesn't have a name. It is a three part estrogen (Estrion, estrodial, and another facet) with progesterone.

A compounding pharmacy takes the prescription that the Doctor calls in and compounds it.

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