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don't panic
May 22, 2001
6:37 am
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Anonymous
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I'm dealing with major opposition in the process of seeking help for my emotional instability. I'm a good student, but the anxiety and depression have caused my work in school to suffer recently, and I want to get help so I can be successful and HAPPY. But my family doesn't wish to acknowledge the truth that even I did not want to deal with for quite a long time. How can I explain that my problem is not "laziness" or having the "blues" now and then? I'm often too scared to leave my house or dorm room, so I stay there and usually just sleep, otherwise the fear makes me violent. How can I deal with my family thinking I'm a liar?

lonely_diva

May 22, 2001
8:52 am
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blackbird
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It took my parents years to accept that I was actually depressed. So far as your mental health, it is just that yours. It would be great if your parents could be supportive but it's important to remember that this is a problem only you can truly deal with. Your parents as most probably see you as perfect to a certain degree and for them to admit you have problems may leave them wondering what they did wrong. Try to love your parents and accept them without expecting them to understand everything. You are the next generation. In twenty years you will understand things about them that you can't imagine now. There are things in your life that you deal with that they can't ever understand things were different for them.
So far as what to say to them it's simple. You can deal with this now, or have the problem get worse until you are either depressed bad enough to not function at all or worse.

May 22, 2001
3:33 pm
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Molly
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Sometimes our parents don't get it, so go to your school counselor.

May 22, 2001
4:22 pm
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Ladeska
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It's your life....bottomline. You do need a counselor to stand in for you and may even be a referee - whereby they come in and talk to you and the counselor - side by side.

Even if you have to change the tide here in a major way - you may have to do that. Them footing the bill for your schooling isn't worth the price you will pay to do everything "their way" and "for them". And you have to be willing to go to that wire if you have to. Otherwise, you are majorly endangering your wellbeing.

It's time to stop the clock and go "time out" people. Either we do this my way or no way. It's my life - and I'm serving everyone notice. And if you can't be for me - then get the hell away from me. You may or may not be able to convince them of anything. You can try, but after that with no success - then, you have to be decisive with the goal in front of you of - I'm going to take care of me even if I have to rearrange my whole life so that I call the shots.

Believe me - I know you may have made plans and all that, but life happens and plans can be changed. Peace....is something that is very valuable...you're not a trained seal. You're a human being, so wear the title with dignity and respect for what it means.... If they aren't listening to you - that's the first step towards them disrespecting you and I wouldn't tolerate it one little bit. You may be their child - but, wake up people - you're also just about grown if not grown. Therefore - no more of this - I'm going to tell you how it's going to be bullshit.

Stand up to them and take care of "you". If you don't - no one else will and as along as you don't demand respect, they will keep on kicking your needs and wants to the curb. Do some kicking yourself. It's time. Long over due. I know a wee little bit about this one. (smile) The control freaks in my life threw one big fit about it....but, that was all too bad. I moved a few mountains out of the way and basically said - bite me in the process. I learned that not affirming me and treating me like I have sense and rights is as good as kicking cow pies in my face. Therefore, I treat it accordingly now. I fire it back at them just about as fast as they shoot it at me. Those tyrants finally retreated. Why? Because they found out they couldn't rule me anymore and they went onto find someone they could rule. Bullies get bored easy..

Time for you to plant "your own garden"....

May 23, 2001
12:06 pm
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Anonymous
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Wow, thank you so much for your replies, everyone. You are all right about what you say, I must take this big step even if it changes my whole life. After all, changing my life is the reason I want to seek help in the first place! I'm gonna go for it!

Thank you all again!

May 23, 2001
12:33 pm
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Ladeska
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We all reach that moment of - coming out. Your time is now. It won't be easy - but what's the alternative? Listening to what someone else wants and thinks and feels all the time? What about "you"? Be wise and try to come to the table with people - but stand your ground and don't just bow to what someone else wants. Do not be overpowered by a bully - not matter what hat they wear in your life. Either they respect you or they don't. Do not listen to people that just tear into you and do this 30 min. diatribe about what "you need to do here"! That's NOT a conversation. That's someone preaching to you and treating you like a "thing". Communication consists of elements like - give and take, going away and thinking about what the other person says without slamming them with their own opinion, saying they are sorry or that they saw things wrong, or are just willing to give you space to try your wings even though them may feel it's not best - in the long run - you trying your wings right now - is for the best.... It's just called "respect" and having a love that is pliable that bends - that "listens" and considers the language of the heart instead of brow beating. Love is gentle, kind, patient, persevering. It isn't demanding, brutal, insensitive, judgemental and cruel.

So think on these things and demand that whoever comes to your table to talk to you - abide by some rules of - this is the way I will talk to you and this is the way - we won't talk if you behave this way. Time for a change.... Demand respect.

July 6, 2001
12:21 pm
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Molly
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I am sure S.C. will fix it, or as you can see, you can just start a new thread. Don't panic, just post. You just start a new thread, ok?

July 6, 2001
12:26 pm
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ranmar1
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Where did all the threads go, especially my own Help Me Please x 7?
Randy

July 6, 2001
12:35 pm
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Molly
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What is strange, is how this was a brand new thread, and now there is all this stuff from the middle of May, perhaps it is some sort of virus?
are you ok, Ranmar?

July 6, 2001
2:11 pm
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Anonymous
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Hi everyone! we are lost... lost in a sea of bits and bytes... virus? perhaps... then it could be my evil twin...

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